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I shrug. “I know it’s easy to say that in your point of view. It’s easy to bring up her past of leaving and mark it off as no big deal but…I’ve seen her when she’s good, Knox. And she can be so, so good. She’s smart and witty, funny and kind. You’ve seen her lowest lows and I’ve seen her highest highs, and it’s hard to imagine she couldn’t one day be somewhere in the middle.”

Knox is quiet for a long time, so long I almost feel like I should leave the room, but then when he finally does talk, he does it with his fingers wrapped around my wrist. “I understand that, I do. Or I’m trying to, anyway. I meant what I said: If she did show up today, if she still does, I want to be there for you. And if she doesn’t at all, I want to be there for you too. I just want you, Felicity. Heartbroken or perfectly happy, however I can get you, I want you just as you are. If you’re happy, I want to be happy with you. And if you’re torn apart, I want to be the one who puts you back together. I just want you.”

My heart swells deep in my chest, and I smile. “I want you, too, exactly like this.” I reach a hand up to his jaw, cupping his face. “Thank you for pulling me inside. And for trying to help. I know I have a long way to go, but I’m trying. You have enough on your plate without having to worry about me.”

He shakes his head. “I gave it up, Felicity.”

“Gave…what up?”

He curves his face closer to my palm. “I wanted to tell you tonight, I wanted to wait until it was just us, and then everything fell apart and I just—”

“Knox, what are you talking about?”

“Taking over the ranch, learning how to manage everything—I gave it all up.”

I blink, my stomach sinking. “You did?”

“I don’t know if I ever truly wanted it in the first place. Maybe I did, or maybe I wanted to want it for my dad’s sake. But ever since this summer, everything just felt off, and I knew deep down I wasn’t made for this. I want to build something on my own terms, I want something to be mine, you know? Not something I’ve chased after my whole life to make everyone else happy.”

“Knox, I…I’m so proud of you.”

He smiles. “I haven’t even told you what I want to do.”

“Does it matter?” I laugh. “You could say you’re running a flea circus and I would be more than proud.”

“Less of a flea circus and more of a mechanics shop.”

“Mechanics?”

He runs a hand through his still damp hair. “Miller suggested it, actually. They’ve been considering opening a new diesel mechanic position and…think that I fit the bill. I could still stay on property while I’m going to school and keep working on diesels in the meantime.”

“Knox,” I whisper, bringing him closer to me. “I can’t believe it, you’re… I mean you’re doing it. Finding the thing you want, going after it.”

“It’s the second thing I’ve wanted for a while and haven’t allowed myself to hold on to.” He reaches up to squeeze my hand in his fingers, firm and gentle all at once. “But look how the first one worked out.”

With his hand in mine, quiet confessions between us, the storm outside feels smaller somehow, more distant. His eyes catch on mine, steady and strong, and it makes me forget the thunder. Forget the rain. Forget that there’s a world right outside this door.

I’m quickly reminded, though, when there’s a few taps on the door. Knox drops his hand and stands to open it.

“Flick?” Rowen’s voice slips through the crack under the door. “Can we talk? I won’t take long if you don’t want to.”

I glance up at Knox as if for permission, and he shrugs, mouthing, It’s up to you.

Do I want to talk to him? No. But do I want to go back down there knowing I brushed him off and just pretend nothing happened? Also no.

I nod my head, and Knox opens the door, glancing over his shoulder. “I’ll leave you guys to it. Felicity, let me know if you need me.”

He slips out of the door as Rowen comes in.

“Hey, kid. Are you warmer now?” He doesn’t even let me answer before nodding. “I’m glad. Glad Knox is a good guy and he’s watching over you.”

I click my tongue and nod, waiting for him to go on with his point, but he just takes in Knox’s room. The desk on the side, his bed I’m resting on, the closet to the left. Looking for somewhere to sit, maybe?

Instead of the obvious choice of Knox’s desk chair, Rowen glides down to the floor so he has to look up at me. “I…I have a lot I want to tell you. So much I don’t really know where to start.”

“The beginning, maybe?” I suggest.

“Right, yeah. The beginning.” He clears his throat. “Your mom and I dated in high school, I know you gathered that. She was…troubled. Sweet and smart, but there was this part of her, too, that I felt like needed saving. And for some reason, she picked me as her savior.