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Disoriented, I glance around. My shirt lies on the floor with the torn-off buttons and my pants. I gather everything up and head for the shower too.

13

—

Koh

I lie motionless in bed, wrecked, wishing I could sink back into sleep. After sex with Aran, I collapsed without eating anything. The sleep wasn’t nearly as restorative as I’d hoped. Every muscle feels numb, my limbs heavy as lead. My heart is still racing and even breathing takes more energy than I have.

The thought of walking ten dogs makes me pull the blanket over my head and turn my back on the world. Simple tasks feel like climbing an unconquerable mountain.

I feel weak and useless. Self-doubt gnaws at me and Luke’s mocking voice echoes in the back of my head again.

“You can’t do anything right. No one can rely on you.”

Most days, getting out of bed is a battle. Sometimes it’s an escape so I can stay busy and distract myself from Luke’s curse. But today I feel heavy, like Luke has seeped into every fiber of my body. I keep reminding myself I’m not as worthless as he made me believe.

Just thinking about last night sends a hot shiver through me. I felt safe with Aran in a way I’ve never known. For a moment, the weight of everyday life miraculously vanished.

I had sex with Aran Graves, and I can’t remember ever enjoying it this much—let alone being able to let go like that.

With Luke, I only had one job: Don’t mess up. He dominated me, telling me what to do and how to move.

But with Aran…

Aran fucking Graves.

What the hell was I thinking?

Clearly nothing, because this screams trouble.

And yet there’s something about the man that pulls me in like a magnet.

Little by little it turns out he’s not the monster I thought he was. Or he’s just very good at hiding it.

The man suffers from headaches because he grinds his teeth at night, I remind myself.

No.

I can’t feel sorry for him. I need to get my own shit together first.

But Aran won’t leave my mind.

Why does he have to be so sweet? And why isn’t he the rowdy asshole I expected? Is it the prison?

“You shouldn’t sell yourself so short,” he told me.

Those words nearly knocked the ground out from under me.

I don’t understand. What does he see in me?

With a grumpy sound, I roll onto my other side.

I don’t even know what I see in him. With every second we spend together, he proves me wrong.

His touches were so gentle, his kiss so loving.

Fuck! And during sex he took me exactly the way I needed.