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Aran looks visibly relieved.

Should I take that personally?

Or is that his sense of humor?

“Rice and salmon okay?”

“I can help if you want.”

“No, it’s fine,” I say. “We shouldn’t push our luck.”

Aran gives me a ridiculously beautiful smile and stays seated. I return to the kitchen a bit dazed and wonder why I said that. But unlike before, I’m strong enough not to give Luke any more space and to focus on Aran’s words instead.

“You shouldn’t sell yourself so short. There’s really no reason for that.”

He’s right, and not only that—he hit the nail on the head. Despite everything I’ve achieved in the last few months, I still feel inferior. Leaving Luke was a huge effort, yet the hoped-for feeling of freedom never came. He’s still lurking in my memories and chasing me in my thoughts.

But as hard as it was to start the day today, I feel good. Better than ever. The walk with Aran did me good because his company kept me from thinking about Luke any further.

14

—

Aran

“Shit, this is good,” I say with my mouth full, shoving another piece of tamagoyaki in.

Koh takes a sip of tea and hides a shy smile behind the cup. I can’t tell if he feels flattered or embarrassed.

“It’s nothing special. Just some rice, eggs, and fish.”

“Yeah, but it’s been a long time since I could actually taste the real flavor of the ingredients. The Poles can pack it in.”

“Could that have something to do with it being prison food?” he asks carefully.

“Probably.”

I quickly push the prison memories down and focus on the best meal I’ve had since coming back.

It’s already dark and we’re sitting on the terrace, surrounded by string lights that create a pleasantly relaxed atmosphere. Even Pixie is enjoying the evening, lying on her cushion next to the Japanese maple Koh bought. I never had plants here before—I was away too often.

“Where have you been eating the last few days?” he asks. “Restaurants?”

“Yeah. At least,” I add, relieved. “If it had been up to the guys, we would’ve ordered in every day at the rehearsal space. I hate eating out of cardboard boxes. It’s disgusting. Plus, the taste just isn’t the same. But they’re all about burgers, steak, and pasta. I was surprised Sam was okay with it.”

“Sam… Is that the muscular guy with the short hair?”

“The bassist, yeah.”

Koh picks up the bowl with one hand and uses his chopsticks to scoop the last of the rice into his mouth. He does it with an elegance that’s striking.

“What?” he asks when he sets the empty bowl down.

I just shake my head and take the last piece of salmon.

“What’s with your tattoos?”

I look up, surprised. It’s not the first time he’s changed the subject. He did the same thing at the pier today when he talked me into getting a scoop of ice cream.