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A quick glance down confirms the obvious. With the fresh tank top, a lot of my tattoos are visible.
“Which one?”
Koh tries hard not to smile. But his eyes give him away, unable to hide how obviously attracted he is to me. His eyes travel over my neck and linger on the big kanji that spreads in bold brushstrokes across my right chest and shoulder.
“Do you know what it says?” I ask, since I’m not sure if he’s familiar with the Chinese characters used in Japanese writing.
“It means cold,” he answers. “But also dignified. It’s a very beautiful kanji—at least I think so.”
“Did you go to a Japanese school?”
“Something like that.” Koh takes a sip of tea and sets the cup back on the table. “I went to Japanese class once a week. My mother wanted me to have a foundation. She asked if I wanted to keep going after the first year. In the end, I was there for ten years.” Koh sighs, and for a while it’s quiet. The only sound is the soft scraping of the cup as he turns it on the wooden table. “Natsukashii na,” he says thoughtfully.
I don’t miss the sad tone in his voice. It crept in slowly.
The mood between us is good right now, so I take a chance.
“Nani wo omoidasu no?” I ask carefully.
Koh’s eyebrows shoot up and he looks at me in disbelief. “You speak Japanese?”
“Sapuraizu,” I say with a shrug.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” The sadness is gone. Now he sounds almost accusatory.
“I didn’t know if you spoke Japanese. The only thing I’ve heard from you was curse words. Not exactly refined Japanese manners,” I tease him.
“I grew up bilingual,” he counters, sitting up straight. “And you?”
“Four months in Japan. But don’t worry. It was way too long ago. I’ve forgotten most of it. A few things stuck.”
Koh frowns, confused. “Why did you learn Japanese?”
“I like languages,” I answer, shrugging. “I know toasts in over twenty languages. I don’t know if that’s something to be proud of, but I always tried to greet the audience in the local language.”
“Then… uh… can I assume you speak Polish now too?”
My smile freezes and an ice-cold shudder ripples down my spine. “Yeah.” There’s so much air in my voice that the word is barely a whisper. I clear my throat and shove the last bite of rice into my mouth. “And you?” I try to steer the conversation away from me this time. “What brings you here? If you’re a dentist… why are you living here playing dog walker?”
When Koh doesn’t answer, I look up at him. He’s pushed his empty plate aside and is now holding the cup with both hands. His gaze is directed at me but goes straight through me, like he’s staring out at the open sea, even though there’s only the wall with the string lights behind me.
“I’m just saying,” I try to lighten the mood a bit. “Today’s walk was cool. Did me good. But you could easily afford your own place as a dentist.”
“It’s complicated,” he murmurs, turning his head away. His eyes jump from one point to the next.
“Does it have something to do with what happened yesterday?”
“The sex?”
“Before that.”
Koh exhales sharply and shifts nervously in his chair.
“It’s my ex,” he whispers, as if afraid someone might overhear. “He…” Koh breathes unsteadily and rubs his hands on his thighs. “He… manipulated me. He… I don’t know what you call it… controlled me?”
It’s obvious the topic is hard for him, but I don’t fully understand what he’s trying to tell me. “Manipulated?”
His head drops forward and he nods. “One day he’d scream at me and the next he’d claim our fight never happened. Or one day he ate steak and the next he’d been vegetarian for two years.”
