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But then Alexis called me to say she was planning on running in there. And I swear I have never felt so much fear as I did then. We got there as fast as we could. The place was an inferno, flames and smoke everywhere. But it was the sight on the grass that stopped me dead. The hair I could recognize from a few feet away, the pink pajama set she was wearing, the same one she wore when I saw her that morning. Her body so incredibly still, she looked so small lying there. I didn’t realize a baby was lying next to her until I heard Killian yelling.

I thought she was dead. I really did. My hands were clammy. It felt like I was floating. The only thoughts in my head were: she’s dead.

I could only hear the sound of my own heartbeat drumming in my ears. Then after what felt like a lifetime, she finally started coughing. A rough rasp that I knew must hurt, but it was the best sound I’ve ever heard. I don’t remember running. I just needed her close. I needed to hear her breathe, to feel her heartbeat. Only then did I become aware of the situation. The familiar smell of smoke filled my nostrils. The bright flames were making my eyes water. I know I should have put my mask on, but the only thing I cared about was the woman lying against my chest, the woman who was struggling to breathe.

I was proud and angry at the same time. I knew why she ran in there, but it still killed me that she did it. She could have died in there. But as the selfless person she is, she was only thinking about getting the baby to safety, which she ultimately did.

The baby made it through. I don’t know what the damage to his lungs is, but he was breathing on his own. She saved that baby’s life. If she hadn’t run in there to save him, he wouldn’t be alive right now. She’s a hero. An incredibly brave hero. And that makes me so proud.

But god was I angry. The thought of losing her was clouding my judgment. I regret how I acted when she woke up in that hospital bed. I know I shouldn’t have yelled, but I couldn’t think straight. All I kept seeing was her body lying there on the grass. Unmoving.

It made me think back to when I found Melissa and Joey. I thought it was happening all over again.

So I snapped, words flying out of my mouth before I could think them through. I kept talking and talking, and before I knew it, I was telling her about my feelings. My heart was beating so fast, my hands shaking, and all I could think about was that I needed her to know what it did to me, to see her lying on the grass like that. If I kept talking, she couldn’t reject me, but she didn’t. She did the best thing she could ever do. She pulled me close and kissed me. I lick my lips again, remembering how it felt when she pressed her lips against them.

I close the driver’s door behind me the moment we pull up in Alexis’s driveway. I circle the car, open her door, and hold out my hand. She grabs it tightly, her fingers intertwining with mine. Then I open her front door with the keys in my pocket and usher her upstairs. She’s exhausted. She had slept in the hospital, but I can see it from the way she’s dragging her feet as if they weigh a ton. She walks up the steps, enters her bedroom, and gazes at her bed with longing. I touch her lower back softly with my hand.

“Do you want to take a shower?”

She thinks about it for a moment. “Can I take a bath?”

She can do whatever the hell she wants. I smile down at her, smoothing her hair back. “Of course, stay here, and I’ll run it for you.” She grins at me, exhaustion radiating from it. I leave her standing there and make my way into her bathroom. It’s spacious, definitely bigger than mine. It has a big tub and a separate shower. I’ve seen it before, of course, since I was the one who renovated it. Still, I haven’t seen it decorated before. The cabinet is filled with a kinds of hair products and a bag containing Epsom salt.

I grab that, knowing it will relax her sore muscles, turn on the tab, and throw in some soap for the bubbles. Alexis is still standing in the same spot as when I left her, her loose hair blowing in her face due to the wind. Her body jerks as I come to stand in front of her. “The bath is running,” I say gently, withholding myself from touching her.

“Okay.” The words come out so quiet I could barely hear them. It’s a miracle she’s still awake. It’s almost as if she’s holding the weight of her burdens on her shoulders. “Do you need help?” I ask after a minute of her standing there. She tilts her head up, eyes barely open.

“I’m tired.” Her head drops. I step toward her, wrapping her in my arms, her head lying in my chest. She smells like smoke. She didn’t shower at the hospital, so all the fumes that touched her are still on her skin and hair. “I know, baby,” I soothe. I stroke her back softly. She relaxes in my hold, blowing out a breath before taking a step back. Her shoulders drop again the moment she steps away from my reach.

“Can you help me?”

“Of course I can.” I’ve seen her half naked before, at the beach and that day in her garden when she was sunbathing, but we’re more than friends now. At least I hope. But I will be a gentleman. I won’t stare at anything but her eyes. I want her to know she can trust me, and that I’m not here to see her body.

I gave her some of my clothes to wear when we left the hospital, since hers were ruined. Killian had brought me some from my locker at work. They are a few sizes too big, so big that the shirt was covering her like a dress, but fuck. She looked good in it. I’ll make it my own personal mission to dress her in more of my clothes.

I don’t think she’s wearing a bra, since it happened in the middle of the night, and my mother said women find it uncomfortable to sleep with one on, so I leave the shirt on for now. I kneel on the ground, my bare knees touching the soft carpet, then lower her pants while keeping my gaze on her face the whole time.

She smiles down at me, lifting her leg, and then the other until she’s wearing nothing but her underwear and shirt.

I stand up, my eyes not wavering from her face. I will only glance at her body when she has given me permission. If that takes years, then I will wait. Nothing is more important than her approval and assurance.

I lean down, my lips making contact with her forehead for a brief kiss. She closes her eyes, her lips curling up. Then I take a step back, grab her hand, and enter the bathroom.

Chapter Twenty

Alexis

I’m tired. I don’t think I’ve ever been so tired in my life. My legs are barely keeping me upright. My eyes burn with exhaustion.

I don’t care that I’m standing practically half naked in my bathroom while Carson holds my hand. I didn’t have the energy to get undressed. I trusted Carson, and it was nothing he hadn’t seen before.

But he didn’t stare at my body, not even once. He kept his eyes on mine the entire time. He didn’t mind kneeling on the floor. He just kept smiling while he helped me take my pants off. I tried not to think of how good he looked kneeling in front of me. I knew it wasn’t the time or place, but God, I couldn’t help myself.

Carson lets go of my hand, tests the temperature of the water in the tub, and turns the tap off. The bath is covered in bubbles. You can barely see the water underneath.

Carson steps towards the door. “Are you leaving?” Panic rises in me.

I don’t want him to leave.