Page 64

He swallows, staring at the door. “Would you like me to stay?”

“Please?”

He turns on his feet, eyes up at the ceiling, his hands clenched in fists. I swallow around the lump in my throat. I know I have my underwear on, and that I need to take them off, but I’m scared that if I bent over, I’ll fall face down on the floor.

“Can you—” I start, playing with a loose thread of shirt. My cheeks heat up. “Can you help me?”

Carson sucks in a loud breath, his hands opening and closing.

“Are you sure?” His voice wavers.

I nod again. “Only if you want to?” I don’t want him to do something he’s uncomfortable with. We only kissed today, which, according to him, was his first kiss. I don’t want to assume anything, but the thought that he might not have gotten further than kissing has crossed my mind, and if that’s the case, I definitely don’t want to pressure him.

“You have no idea what I want to do, baby. But only if you’re comfortable with it”

“I trust you.”

He curses under his breath. Takes a few deep breaths, then stares me right in my eyes, searching my face for any sign of discomfort, nodding to himself when he doesn’t find any. I lift my arms. He grabs the hem of my shirt and lifts it over my head. He leans in and presses a soft kiss on my cheek, giving me a small, trembling grin, before kneeling again. He grabs my panties. His cold fingers graze my skin.

I inhale a harsh breath at the touch. Goosebumps form on my body. He swallows hard. Then trails my underwear down my leg, his fingers softly touching my skin. His hands are shaking as I tilt my feet up, my panties falling on the floor. Carson’s heart is racing as fast as mine. He stands up, towering over me. I look up, tilting my head back, lips pursing.

Kiss me, please kiss me.

I don’t need to say the words. He leans down, his lips pressing against mine, and a whine escapes my mouth. Carson groans, breaking the kiss, his lips swollen. Eyes blazing with heat. “Baby?” he asks, his mouth hovering over mine.

“Yeah?”

“Please get in the tub,” he groans. “Please—Before I do something neither one of us is ready for yet.”

He looks up at the ceiling as I step into the water. it’s the perfect temperature, not too hot, but not cold either. I lay down, the bubbles covering me completely, I moan softly feeling the warmth. My eyes close in bliss.

“Fuck,” Carson curses. I stare at him with heavy eyelids. He has his back turned to me, gripping his hair tightly, the muscles in his back pulled together. “Cars?” I call out softly. He takes a few deep breaths before turning around and grabbing something from behind me. The shower head. I have one for the shower, but I also have a separate one you can attach to the bath tap. Carson connects it, holds his hand under the spray of water, testing the temperature, as he did with the tub water.

I furrow my brows. Is he going to wash my hair? I can’t remember the last time someone did that for me.

He stares down at my bubble-covered body and shakes his head, muttering something incoherent under his breath, then steps behind me, his hand trailing down my cheek in a smooth caress.

“Can you sit up, Sunshine?” he asks softly, grabbing me by the top of my arms. I hold myself up using the sides of the tub. He gently pushes my head forward, then turns on the shower head and wets my hair, starting at the top, careful not to wet my eyes. My body sags, relishing the warm water that streams down my back.

“Shampoo is only for your scalp, right?”

“Yes. How do you know that?”

He shrugs nonchalantly, aiming the shower head downward so the water is shooting into the tub. He grabs my shampoo and conditioner bottles from the shower, spurts some shampoo on his hands, and rakes his fingers through my hair. “My mother told me.” I can hear the smile in his words when I sigh softly.

“You’re so good at this.” I’ve never felt so relaxed in my life.

“I’m glad.” He rinses the shampoo out of my hair. Before lathering my hair with conditioner, everywhere but my roots. We wait in silence, only the sound of our soft breaths audible. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, breaking the silence.

“For what?”

“For scaring you.”

“It’s fine.” I lean forward a little more, giving him some more space. “No, it’s not…I didn’t mean to scare you. I wasn’t thinking. I just ran in there as if I was indestructible.” I blow out a breath. “Micah died, only a few feet away from me, and I couldn’t save him. When I heard that mother screaming for her baby, I just— I wasn’t thinking. I know I should have waited for you, but I kept thinking about that baby, so I ran. I didn’t think about what could happen to me. I didn’t think about the fact that I could have died.” I shake my head, looking up at Carson.

“No one saved my brother. He died alone, lying on a cheap mattress in a house he wasn’t loved in…I wish I could have done something, but in the end it didn’t matter. He died the moment that knife sliced his skin.”

Carson reaches down, interlocking his fingers with mine. Gazing down at me with a sad smile, “But last night I could actually do something. I could help someone when they needed it. I couldn’t save my brother.” My voice cracks, tears rolling down my cheek, my brother’s lifeless body haunting my mind.