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Prologue
Lizzie
I’ve never paid much attention to horoscopes, but this cafe keeps a weekly Coffee Chats Newsletter, printed in both English and French, on each table for patrons to read while waiting for their orders, and it’s become a habit to flip the yellow paper over and see what my latest fortune predicts. Most of the time they’re not at all relevant, but every now and then there’ll be one that’s right on the money, and I’ll get a little chill down my spine, as if I really am supposed to pay attention to these things.
Like today.
Capricorn: Feeling down? The more you increase your surface area for luck to find you, the more luck you will find. Look up. Travel. Say yes to opportunities. Take risks. Live without regret. Lucky numbers: 7, 12, 15, 17.
I sip my hot chocolate, unable to focus on my computer screen, my mind filled with daydreams of what life might look like if I took the risks and did the things I always say I’d love to do.
I’d escape the winter.
I’d visit New Zealand, walk along golden sand beaches, hike through beautiful forests, be brave and find adventure.
I’d be happy.
I take a deep breath and stare out the window until I’ve swallowed back the tears that always sit so close to the surface these days. This isn’t a bad life, but this isn’t the life I thought I’d be living in my thirties, either. There was supposed to be more fun and less loneliness and shame.
I set my cup down and bring up my emails, leaving all of the irrelevant ones unread to join the other thirty thousand clogging my inbox that I’ll never ever get around to clearing, and click into the most recent one from my former workplace.
Dear Elizabeth,
I’m pleased to confirm that your final pay, including your severance package, has now been deposited into your account.
Wishing you all the best for the future,
Samantha Prescot
Head of Human Resources
Omegalandia Fashion Canada
If I was smart, I’d save the money. I have no job. No one seems to be hiring. But I have the inheritance from my grandfather to fall back on when things inevitably get rough, and if I don’t travel now, when I have nothing tying me down, I probably never will.
Take risks.
There’s a large part of me that always feels like I have something to prove. That I can live by myself, travel by myself, hold a successful job. That being an omega doesn’t make me less capable. I’d never held that opinion about omegas, and it’s been one of the hardest lessons to learn since revealing four years ago. So many—including my loved ones—seem to think less of me now.
It takes five minutes to book a round trip to Auckland, New Zealand. I pay more for the flexi ticket, just in case I want to stay longer.
I leave in ten days and will have four wonderful weeks in paradise. I’ll celebrate the New Year on the opposite side of the world, in a fun location that will hopefully make up for the fact that I’ll still be single with no one to kiss at midnight.
It may not be the smartest move, but at this point I just don’t care.
I’m going to live without regrets.
Chapter One
Lizzie
Jet lag is a bitch.
I squint at the glowing LED clock in the hotel room, groaning when I realise I’ve woken a full three hours before sunrise.
“Fuck.”
There’s no point trying to get back to sleep. I’m wide awake, the uncomfortable I’ve really fucked up feeling that I’ve carried with me all the way from Canada still sitting heavy on my chest.
