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“No, no, that’d be—I don’t want—no, that’s all right. I’ll figure it out on my own, I just wanted to … vent, I guess.” She looked down at her lap, brows furrowed. I gave her a few seconds to see if she’d explain, but when the silence stretched on, I decided to change the topic.

“That’s all right. But when you do get your first appointment, let me know when it is. I’d like to come.”

“Seriously?” she asked, face furrowed like I was the crazy one. “I’m pretty sure the first appointment is just gonna be a list of vitamins they recommend and scheduling the other appointments. Nothing fun.”

“That’s fine, I know not every part of this will be fun. But it’ll be informative.” I shrugged.

“Niall.” She said my name with some hesitancy that made me meet her eyes. “When you say you’re all in … it’s just with the kid, right? Because I still don’t have it in me to have a relationship.”

I straightened a little, my body tensing at the realization that my relationship with her and our kid were two different categories. But of course they were. She’d been upfront about that during our last meeting, there was no reason to assume that would change just because she was pregnant.

“Of course, yeah, my career situation hasn’t changed either.” I mean, it had. Things have felt a lot different in the past few months, especially in terms of free time. But a relationship felt … like a very different thing to commit to somehow. And I still wasn’t sure if I had the space for it.

“But you have time to commit to a kid?”

“I’ll make time. Or …” I thought of away games, of missing the baby’s first steps, of being away when they get their first fever and not being able to help; and a pit formed in my stomach. It was a different kind of commitment, but it didn’t exactly require less time than a romantic relationship. “I’ll give you—the baby all the time I have.”

The tension in Leah eased and she smiled at me, radiating so much warmth and … faith. That’s what her smile said to me, she trusted my word. We barely knew each other, but that trust was there.

“That’s all any kid could want.” She squeezed my hand, then added, “Plus, this kid kinda won the genetic lottery. You’re hot and athletic and I’m hot and funny, they’re set for life.”

We shared a small laugh, tension slowly easing. She was right though, if our baby was half as gorgeous as she was, half as quick, half as sweet, the world would be theirs.

I leaned closer to Leah, tucking some stray strands behind her ear. “I hope they have your hair. I don’t remember much about biology, but red is recessive, right? Does that mean there’s no chance?”

“Ah, I don’t know. Remember, I teach third grade, so my science expertise is more water cycle level.”

“I’ll have to look it up.” And for a minute, we just … sort of looked at each other, smiling. the possibility of our child buzzing around us.

But then something shifted in Leah and she pulled away.

“Right, so … that has my number, give me a text when you—I dunno, whenever you want, I guess.” She quickly hopped off the cot and scuttled out of the room. And though I was disappointed she left, I was still in that little bubble of warmth. In the joy of finding out I’d be a father and that my days wouldn’t be so empty anymore.

The News Spreads

Niall

The Dastards Team Chat

Brooker: Okay, I’ve been quiet for like … three hours

Brooker: Who was that chick that came by for you, Cap?

Ricci: Cap is getting female visitors?

Taylor: Just a note for future reference, Ricci, don’t call women females, only gross Americans use that

Ricci: Noted?

Brooker: Capppppppppppp

Iset my phone down on my kitchen counter and stared into space, contemplating. I’d spent the last hour since I got home researching … how pregnancy works, basically; the timeline, the food Leah should avoid, the kind of support she’d need throughout the different trimesters. I had a long list of things I wanted to get her; ginger candies, compression socks, the U-shaped pillow thing, but I didn’t want to get anything without checking with her first. And while I had her number now, I didn’t want to overwhelm her with my tendency to be … over prepared.

Problem was, that left me with a lot of excited energy and nothing to do with it.

But maybe talking about it with the team would be good. Accident or not, this was exciting news to share.

Me: That was Leah, she stopped by to let me know we’re gonna be parents