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Julian faced me. “I have always known who your father is. I have been looking for you since MorningStar has. And when I found you and realized it was you, my soulmate reincarnated again at last, I vowed I’d never let them hurt you.”

“How sweet! You would have otherwise?”

“No! Of course not.” Julian stood vamp fast and began to pace. “Charlotte, I would have taken you to SHADE either way, but I was so overjoyed to see you again, so thrilled that you’d come back into my life—I didn’t care anymore if my cover was blown or if the general was the lesser of two evils. At that moment, it became us against the world.”

“If you care about me so much—” I challenged, standing and leaning on the table.

“I love you so much,” he corrected, kneeling beside me.

“Even better. If you love me so much, oh great vampire, then why wouldn’t you tell me everything? You said no more secrets.”

Julian flinched, and it felt kind of good.

“I knew it would hurt you. Why would I purposely cause you harm when, for all I knew, you’d never see your father again?”

“Don’t you get it, Julian?” I sat back down and looked at his beautiful face. “These things, they keep coming up and hurting me even worse because you didn’t tell me. How can I trust you when at every turn you’ve lied to me? No matter what the reason?”

Julian stood and wrapped his knuckles on the table. “I suppose it’s just as well then since we cannot see each other anymore after this job is over. I…won’t be returning to SHADE.”

Swallowing the sudden lump in my throat, I stared down at my coffee. “I see.”

“They won’t have use for me without my intel on MorningStar,” he said. “Not with the general’s feelings toward me.”

I ignored him leaning over me and resisted looking at him.

“You said you know about Silas,” he said.

I looked up. “That’s another issue, Julian. You ran away instead of talking to me about him and facing whatever happens together. You claim you love me.” I stood, forcing him to back up.

“I do love you.”

I laughed. “Bullshit. If you loved me, you’d include me in the discussion.” I shoved his stubbornly immovable chest.

“You don’t have the memories I do,” he said as I turned to march away—where to, I didn’t know.

I stopped. “Then for once in your life, tell me.”

It was like everything hung on that statement. Either he would understand what I was trying to say, or he’d stay the same stubborn vampire. I was beginning to understand why I hadn’t been with him in that one life he’d mentioned. But damn him, I wanted him to do the right thing.

“You know,” I said, turning back around and facing him so he could see the hurt he caused. “When you left? It wounded me badly. I have issues with the men I love leaving me. In this life. The one I do remember.”

Julian jerked slightly then rushed to cup my face. “You said you love me, Charlotte.”

I blinked. That’s what he got from that statement? “I suppose I did.”

He kissed me then, deep and slow and sweet. His full lips slid between mine, and his tongue swept tentatively inside, tasting me, testing whether I’d allow it. Damn, it felt good. All I wanted to do was sink into it and get lost.

But I couldn’t.

I pulled back and waited.

Julian hung his head. “Silas killed my sister.”

“I saw.”

His head snapped up.

“In a vision when I touched his arm. I saw the conversation you had afterward.”