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Me:
Why??
Marcus:
Sand and crowds, not my thing
Me:
What’s wrong with sand?
Marcus:
It gets everywhere and ruins everything. I don’t get the appeal.
I laugh to myself, picturing him on a beach towel, scowling at the ocean in black jeans. It’s weirdly easy to imagine.
Me:
Ours are different. Sure they still have sand, but they’re moodier and rocky. You’d probably like them.
Marcus:
I’ll be the judge of that.
I type, Come visit, then delete it. It’s too big of an ask. For all I know I’m just someone he talks to to pass the time.
Except he keeps the conversation going long after the fire dies, and after I’ve headed inside and crawled into bed, until I’m fighting to keep my eyes open and finally tell him goodnight.
Three days later, I’m back in Seattle, halfway through a design review, when my phone buzzes.
Marcus:
[photo of Lake Michigan with one black sneaker at the edge of the frame surrounded by sand]
Still don’t get the appeal.
I stare at it until my coworker clears her throat and asks if I’m still with them.
I’m not. I’m thinking about Marcus, who hates sand, standing on a beach he’s probably never been to just so he could tell me he still doesn’t like it.
I don’t know when this stopped being just sex and flirting. But I’m grinning at a picture of a sandy shoe in the middle of a meeting, and I think that answers the question for me.
August is a blur of work and weekend adventures. I kayak on Lake Union, climb at a new gym, and go to a baseball game with coworkers. It’s all fun and enjoyable, like the rest of the summer, but it doesn’t stop me from counting down the weeks until November.
It is a stupid idea, but I even contemplate changing my flight to Chicago, hoping Marcus would drive me back to Bloomington with him. But that’d be a ridiculous thing for me to ask. Hey, been a few months, mind rearranging your day to chauffeur me four hours because I can’t stop thinking about you? I can hear how it would sound out loud, which is exactly why I won’t text it.
Especially because we aren’t anything, even though I keep trying.
Me:
Do you have social media? I want to see pics of Chicago.
Marcus:
Nah, I don’t have any.
Me:
