AllFreeNovel Stories worth discovering

All In: The Price We Pay

Page 81

by Lili B. Wilms

“No, Sid and I were with Valentina at a small bistro right nearby. What was I supposed to say? ‘Hey, who are you, and why are you kissing my boyfriend?’”

My mouth drops open. “It was a kiss on the cheek.”

Evan closes his eyes and leans against me. “I know.”

“Baby, are you jealous?”

He smiles slightly again. “No. Of course not. It just hit me in that moment what we can never be. Don’t get me wrong, I already knew that before I saw the two of you, but in that moment it became obvious. Tangible. The two of us will never sit like that in a bistro and kiss.”

“Never?” I ask in disbelief.

“Not anytime soon. Our assistant coach made a stupid comment about Sid and me today. While Sid was joking around about it, I was paralyzed. Unable to think straight and worried that something would give me away as gay. Parker, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to act so naturally around you in public.”

I stroke his cheek. “Hey. Look at me. I’m not asking you to do that.”

Evan turns his head and kisses the palm of my hand. “But you should. You deserve it. And that’s why I was wondering if . . . ” He exhales heavily.

What the hell is he up to now?

“Wondering what?” I poke him lightly in the side.

“Whether you want this. To see other men. Besides me. So, you can have that. That freedom. If you had other people, other men besides me, who give you what you need. Who don’t lock you up. I could handle that.”

For an eternity, I don’t know what to say. Is this a joke? “Oh, you could?” I step back slightly to get a better look at his expression. “It would be okay with you if you saw me with other men, went out to eat with them, went on dates with them?”

“Yes, I have no right to take everything away from you if you need more than I can give you.” He turns his gaze away from me. “If it means we can keep this.”

I can’t help but clear my throat, as if I’m about to give a speech. I take both of his hands in mine and hold them tight. “Listen to me. Let’s start with the most important thing. It’s not okay with me if you’re seeing other people. We can talk calmly about why or what or . . . but no. You belong to me. Is that clear?” Finally, he lifts his head and meets my gaze. “Second: What goes for you goes for me, too. What we have is too precious for me to risk. Maybe in ten years we can talk as much as you want about the rules and boundaries of our relationship, but not now. Not when everything I want is right here within these four walls.”

Finally, he smiles as freely as I’ve ever seen him. Without that dreadful facade of self-control he wears as a shield against the outside world. But he doesn’t need that shield from me. I grab his chin and hold him steady. “And now tell me again that it’s okay with you if our relationship is open, if I have sex with others, date other men, or we’re in a poly relationship.”

Evan licks his lips. But the words won’t come.

“Good answer.” I pat his cheek.

He takes my hand and kisses it. “Puckling.”

“Evan, I love you. This might seem out of the blue, too soon, or too late, or . . . ”

He looks up and cups my head with both hands. In a millisecond, he seals my mouth with a kiss that takes my breath away. As if he wants to taste everything about me and make everything about me his own.

Gasping for air, we pull apart. “That can’t have come as a surprise to you,” I murmur against his lips.

“You know I’m not the brightest. Some things have to be spelled out clearly for me.”

“Mhm.”

He slips his hands under my thighs and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around him, and he sets me down on his bar. I’m still clinging to him.

“Puckling, I love you more than anything in the world. You’re the most important person in my life. I’m afraid that I won’t always show you that the way you need me to, but please don’t forget it. I love you so much.”

His mouth finds mine again, and we kiss as if it were the last thing left to us on this planet.

The fact that hockey is more important to him than I am remains unspoken between us. I know it. He knows it.

It’s okay.

No one is perfect. Not even the man I love.