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Drew’s daughter, Penny, who’s now Samantha’s big sister, corrects her: “BirTH-day,” she says, enunciating the th sound.
Penny places both hands on her hips and looks me over. “So, you’re thirty, huh?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Her eyebrows raise slightly. “Gettin’ pretty old.”
Drew overhears his daughter and rushes over and hoists her over his shoulder. “That’s enough out of you. Thirty is not old. I’m way older than that!” Samantha runs after them.
My two nephews are still attached to my ankles. Their blonde heads look up at me with smirks on their adorable faces. It’s like seeing Madden and Brooks reincarnated.
Lord, help us all.
Oliver glances around the room before whispering, “Hey Uncle David, can you tell them you’re ready for cake? Mom says we can’t have it until you say so.”
I glance at my sister-in-law, Odette, who rolls her eyes at her son. Kids are loud whisperers, so the entire room could easily hear his request.
I shuffle my way toward the kitchen, where I’m assuming the cake is, when I spot a large poster of a man tacked up on my living room wall. It looks like they have painted clothing on him, and he’s holding a calculator.
Sophie comes up behind me, laughing. “Pin the calculator on the accountant.”
“I see that.” I shake my head, but can’t help the smile that tugs at my lips. “But did he used to be naked?”
Odette appears at my other side. “Um yeah… we got it at a shop online for bachelorette parties.”
Sophie stifles a giggle. “Let’s just say he previously didn't have clothing… or calculators…”
Oliver releases himself from my leg and studies the poster. “Why was he naked? And what would you pin to him if there weren't calculators, Mommy?”
Odette rolls her lips together to keep from laughing. “Umm… So, how about that cake?”
Sophie and Odette erupt into laughter. I sigh and bend down to pick up my youngest nephew, Bradford. He’s only a year and a half and not talking much yet, so he’s currently my favorite. He cuddles into me and I lay my chin against his fuzzy blonde head as I walk into the kitchen to find the birthday cake. They covered my large kitchen island with an array of desserts. There are several flavors of pie, cupcakes, sugar cookies decorated to look like calculators, and a giant birthday cake that’s frosted to resemble a W-2 tax form.
I chuckle, amused at how much thought my sister put into this. Sophie sidles up next to me with a big grin. “You like it?”
“As far as surprise parties go, this one isn’t so bad.” I playfully bump her shoulder with my own.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” She winks and then walks around to the other side of the island to get a cake knife. “Who’s ready for cake?” She yells loud enough for everyone in the next room to hear.
All four children appear in the kitchen seemingly from out of nowhere and scream, “me, me!” Oh, and also Brooks. Because he’s basically a child.
Brooks picks up Samantha and Oliver and chants with them. He’s the fun uncle. Don’t get me wrong; I love being an uncle way more than I thought I would. My nieces and nephews are hilarious… I’m just not going to get on the floor and let them play “horsey.”
Once everyone is in the kitchen, I’m forced to listen to them serenade me with the happy birthday song. Then we dig into the desserts.
I have a weakness for chocolate, so I select a chocolate calculator cookie and sink my teeth into it and sigh. Brooks claps me on the back, nearly causing me to choke on my cookie.
I cough a few times and he chuckles. “So, you’re thirty, single, and boring.” He smirks, and I notice he has frosting on his upper lip but I don’t tell him.
Madden is sitting at the bar a few feet from us feeding Bradford cake and laughs at Brooks’ comment. “Isn’t it thirty, flirty, and thriving?”
“David isn’t boring!” Sophie defends me before shoving a bite of pie into her mouth.
Brooks scoffs. “Are you kidding me? He’s the most predictable person I’ve ever met.”
“It’s called consistent, Brooks,” I deadpan.
He shrugs. “Sure. But doesn’t it bother you that in thirty years of life you’ve done nothing exciting or out of the ordinary?”
