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“Millie.”
Her eyes drift back and forth between mine. “Don’t you trust me?”
The question lands between my ribs. “You’re the only person I trust.”
“Then why won’t you talk to me? Why won’t you tell me what happened between you and Brett?”
I shake my head, dropping my gaze from hers, unable to look at her when her stare is full of caution. For her or me, I don’t know. But I don’t want her to worry for me; she doesn’t need to feel bad. “I can’t tell you. I can’t tell anyone. I promised I wouldn’t.”
“Since when do you care about following the rules?”
“I don’t know. I think…maybe…if I do this, maybe they’ll care. Maybe they’ll see me. It’s stupid.”
Her hands come to my face, molding to my cheeks, her fingertips along my cheekbones, her thumbs smoothing over my beard. “It’s not stupid. You deserve to be seen. By everyone and not just me. That’s why I think you need to talk about it. Talk about whatever it is that happened in your past. You deserve the opportunity to tell the truth, and the world should hear it.”
I take hold of her wrists, so small and delicate in my big, callused hands. But Millie is not so breakable. She’s made of much tougher stuff than I am. She faces her problems head on. She isn’t afraid to admit when it hurts. She is everything I wish I could be.
But having her near me makes me believe I can be better. She makes me feel like I can do hard things. For her, I can be the superhero.
“If you want to go back to school to be a veterinarian, you should do it. If that’s what you want, do it.”
She inhales a deep breath, one that I know is annoyed from the purse of her lips. I’m avoiding opening up to her, but today has been my best day in a very long time—maybe ever—and I don’t want to ruin it with all my bullshit.
Thankfully, she lets me escape. “It’s a lot of time and money. I’d have to get my bachelor’s and then the medical degree. Internships and residencies, it’s intense.”
“But I’m sure you can find a program that will fit your schedule. Do your undergrad online, maybe.” I was drafted before I finished college, so I have no idea what’s actually what, but I hope that’s true.
She ignores my suggestion and says, “And it’s a lot of money.”
“I’ll pay for it.”
She shakes her head at me, like you idiot. “You’re not paying for me to go to school.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’ve already done so much for me. Too much for me.”
I let go of her wrists to wrap my hands around the back of her head, my lips a hair’s breadth away from hers. “There is no such thing as too much. Not for you.”
And then, without warning—or maybe, with all the warning because I think we’ve been making our way to this point for months now—she kisses me.
Her mouth is soft yet insistent, her fingers weaving into my hair as I pull her legs into my lap, so she’s not quite sitting on me but almost. As close as we can be without moving horizontal. But as soon as I find her tongue with the tip of mine, she shoots away, her palm clamping over her mouth. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry. That was totally inappropriate. You’re my boss.”
My moral decision-making was already touch and go, but it’s at an all-time low because I don’t care about the fact that I’m Millie’s boss and paying her to sort my Skittles. I do not care one iota, and I wrap my hands around the back of her head, ordering, “Do it again.”
CHAPTER 17
MILLIE
Austin Ashwood’s entire existence exudes intensity. His blue and brown eyes speak to emotions he keeps capped. His body brims with tension, volumes of energy that have nowhere to go. He’s been pushing it all down for so long, he is a volcano waiting to erupt.
And this, right now, feels like a release valve. An escape he didn’t know he had. With the way his gaze bores into me, he’s begging me to let it loose.
Let him loose.
So, I do. Because I know at some point he will fall apart if he doesn’t allow himself to feel everything he needs to, and I want to be there for him. I want to be the person he comes to for help. I want to be the person he reveals himself to.
With my hands fisted in his shirt, I press my mouth to his again, and he groans, immediately taking advantage of my silent consent, his lips pulling at mine, prodding them open to find my tongue. I never really enjoyed kissing and mostly saw it as something to get through, but Austin is so needy, panting into my mouth, fingers clinging to me, that a bolt of electricity rockets up my spine, and I shift into his lap. He seems to like that from the way he groans and wraps his arms around me. The bristles of his beard scratch against my chin when he angles his head, finding every corner of my mouth, like he can’t get enough of it.
