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“No. Pretty wonderful.” That was so like him, she thought. Her first husband hadn’t lifted a hand to do anything to support them, and Luke had walked out on her. But Jim wasn’t like that. He would be willing to go the distance.
“I went out and found a job and we looked for an apartment. We couldn’t afford much, of course, but I knew everything would be okay. Then one day she didn’t come to school. When I called her house, her mom told me she had the flu.”
His voice was flat and emotionless. Heather stiffened in anticipation of something horrible. She sent up a prayer that she was wrong, that someone else hadn’t destroyed Jim the way his mother and father had. After all he’d been through, he didn’t deserve that. But her prayers were years too late.
“Two days later, she came to see me. She told me she thought we were too young to get married. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to marry me, but she was sure she didn’t want a child. My child. She’d gone off and had an abortion without even telling me.”
Chapter Eleven
Heather didn’t think it was possible for Jim to shock her again. Not this much or this way. He was speaking. She could see his lips moving, but she couldn’t hear him. Not clearly anyway. There was only the rushing sound of her stunned amazement and the burning in her eyes and throat from unshed tears.
“How could she?” she murmured, more to herself than him.
Jim stopped talking and stared at her. “Are you all right?”
“Of course. I’m fine. It’s just…” Her voice trailed off. Waves of pain washed over her. Pain for the young girl who had to make such a difficult decision, but mostly pain for Jim. For the young man he’d once been and the man he’d grown into. She shifted on the sofa, moving toward him until she was close enough to rest her hand on his forearm. “I’m glad you told me. That experience explains a lot.”
His gaze narrowed. “Like what?”
“Like why it’s difficult for you to trust in relationships or love. You must have felt betrayed.”
“I did,” he admitted. “I’d been willing to go the distance, but she hadn’t wanted that.” He shrugged. “I guess we were too young.”
“Did you ever talk about it? Later, I mean?”
“Do you mean did we talk about why she had an abortion without discussing it with me?”
She nodded.
“Yeah.”
Jim stared past her. Heather knew he was caught up in the memories of his past. She wanted to pull him close to her and hold him until the ache went away, but she didn’t think he would welcome her comfort.
“She said that she knew I would try to talk her out of it.”
“Was she right?”
“Probably. I thought we could make it, but she felt the odds were too stacked against us. She wasn’t sure she wanted to get married and she knew she wasn’t ready to be a mother.”
“Do you understand her reasoning?”
He was quiet for a long time. “I’ve heard all the arguments—that it’s her body and ultimately she’s the one responsible for the child. I know her family didn’t want her to have the baby. But—”
“But it was your child, too,” she said gently. “You wanted to have a say in the decision.”
His troubled gaze met hers. “I would’ve given up everything for the two of them. I would’ve worked two or three jobs. I know we could have been okay.”
But the young woman in question hadn’t given him a chance to prove himself…or fix the situation. First his mother had asked him to do something impossible, then his first love had taken away his chance to take care of her and their child. No wonder Jim went through life trying to fix things for everyone.
A sudden rage burned through her. She rose to her feet and paced to the window. “Damn,” she said aloud. “I’d like to get my hands on both of them.”
“Both of who?”
“Your mother and that girl. I want to tell them exactly what I think of them!” Talk about horrible, selfish, thoughtless creatures.
Jim looked startled. “What are you so mad about?”
She turned on him and planted her hands on her hips. “I’m not mad, I’m furious. How dare they do that to you? How dare they treat you so horribly. Your mother had no right to ask you to do what she did. You were only a boy. I sympathize with her pain, but no matter what, she was still your mother and she should never have put you in that situation. As for your girlfriend, you should have had a choice. If she didn’t want to get married, fine. If she didn’t want the baby, fine. But if you were willing to take the child and be completely responsible, you should have had that option.” She ground her teeth together. “I want to do something, but I can’t. It’s terrible.”