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The men decided not to tell the women in the family what was going on until morning because they didn’t want them to worry. Yaya was the only woman who knew about what happened. Free texted Triniti and River and told them something came up, and he would take us to dinner tomorrow. I felt horrible for leaving my family in the dark, and I knew it would only get worse once my mom and sisters got wind of things.

“Alright, we have a starting point, and we can pick back up first thing in the morning. None of this is sitting right with me. No one should be able to get this close to someone in our family and us not know what’s going on. Let’s go home, try to get some rest, and meet back here in the morning.” Uncle Truth suggested.

“Alright Unc. Call me as soon as you wake up. I have some shit I want to run by you.” Messiah told him. I could tell the two of them were communicating with their eyes, and I wanted to know what was going on.

“Will do.” He turned and kissed my forehead, and it made me feel even worse. “I love you, baby girl. I’m so sorry this happened to you, but I promise we’re gonna put an end to it. We’ve got it from here.”

“Thank you,” I said barely above a whisper.

All of the men came over and hugged me before they made their way out of the door. When the last person left, it was just Siah, Free, and Solomon left.

“I’ma crash here for the night. I’m about to grab my shit and head to the basement.” Free announced as he dapped up Messiah.

“You know I don’t mind. Thank you for bringing her here. Who knows what could have—” Messiah paused mid-sentence as if it pained him to complete the sentence.

“You already know what it is.” Free turned to me and did the same as Uncle Truth. “I love you, Nes. Don’t ever keep shit from us again. I’m mad as fuck I didn’t go with my first mind and snitch on your ass. I won’t make that mistake again.”

After he hugged me one more time, he headed out of the room. Solomon still hadn’t said a single word, and it made me nervous.

“Yaya is gonna give you something to wear. Your room has clean sheets, so y’all can sleep there for the night. Aye, Solo, can you stay behind for a minute? I want to rap with you for a moment.”

Solomon nodded, but didn’t offer anything else. I figured it was best for me to wait to talk to either of them. It was abundantly clear they weren’t in the mood.

My shoulders dropped as I walked out of the room and upstairs to my bedroom. I had a spare room at all of my siblings' houses, but I spent the most time at Messiah’s house, so I had almost everything I needed. My arm still hurt, but I was certain it wasn’t broken.

A pair of red and white pajamas were laid out on the bed. They were brand new with the tags still on them. I could tell Yaya got the room together while we were all downstairs. I took a deep breath and attempted to gather my emotions, but there was so much on my mind.

“Hey. I put some towels and a brand-new bottle of soap in the bathroom for you and Solo.” Yaya spoke from behind me.

I shifted to see her standing in the doorway, dressed in a grey lounge set.

“Thank you.” My voice cracked, and Yaya immediately rushed over and embraced me. In her arms, I released all of the emotions I had held in. I knew my brother and my man were disappointed in me for not telling them about what was going on, but I wished they would have at least tried to understand my point of view.

“It’s okay, baby girl. Let it out.”

Yaya comforted me as she led me to the edge of the bed to sit down. She allowed me to get all of my tears out before she said anything else to me. Once I gathered my emotions, it felt like a small weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

“I know you were probably scared out of your mind tonight, and I don’t blame you. Messiah is upset, but you know it’s only because he loves you. That man would give up his life for you, and even though he’s being cold right now, don’t take it to heart. He was scared as hell when Free called him. I damn near had to wrestle him down to make him stay put because he was on his way up there with a big ass rifle.”

I giggled for the first time in hours. I knew my big brother loved me, which was why it hurt my feelings to see the disappointment on his face.

“I know. I just feel like shit. I tried to handle things on my own in order to avoid dragging the family into my mess, and it still backfired. Now Messiah is mad at me, and Solly won’t even look at me.”

I wiped my tears, but it didn’t matter much because they kept falling.

“Trust me, I’ve made some dumb ass choices that had me on the other side of Siah’s wrath, but I promise it won’t last. He gets frustrated when he feels like he dropped the ball. Your brother is a natural protector, and he takes his role very seriously, boo. I know you thought you were looking out for the family, but you’ve got to know this family doesn’t play about its own. Those men will tear the whole state apart behind the ones they love.”

She wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t already know. Over the years, I witnessed the way my family stepped up for one another. It was the reason I never felt afraid of anything until I went off to college. They always made me feel untouchable and protected.

“I thought all of this was over, you know? I’ve spent so much time trying to heal from all of the things I went through in that relationship and the way things ended. The online bashing, death threats, and harassment broke me down, but I took it on the chin, and now here we are dealing with the same thing all over again.”

“I hate the fact that Rondell did what he did, but I’ll never understand how the world could blame me for his actions. They treat me as if I was the one who put the gun to his head or talked him into it. Regardless of what we went through, I loved him. I tried my hardest to make it work, but he would have eventually killed me too. It’s crazy to see people who don’t know me tell me they wish it was me instead of him.” My voice cracked as more tears fell.

I thought I had gotten past what happened, but the pain in my heart felt like a reopened wound. Everyone, with the exception of my family, blamed me for Rondell’s death because, in their mind, his life was more valuable than mine. It was such a difficult pill to swallow.

“Listen to me, Honesty. I don’t give a damn what those people have to say about you; we know the truth. If they choose not to see things for what they are, that's on them. Hell, if we’re being honest, if Rondell had succeeded in harming you, his fate would have been the same.

“You did nothing wrong, and there’s no need for you to carry the guilt and regret behind another person’s actions. Whoever this person is who has reignited this fire must be miserable, and they refuse to see the truth for what it is. You don’t owe them or anyone else a single thing, baby girl. All you need to do is live your life and continue to grow. Don’t allow this to strip you of your joy or make you question whether you deserve to be happy. You absolutely do.”