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We sat in silence for a while as he smoked his blunt and sent a few messages on his phone. I didn’t know what to say, so I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“I thought you didn’t smoke.”

Messiah paused and glanced over to me. His jaw muscles flexed, then relaxed as he held my gaze.

“I don’t, but I needed something to calm me down. Besides, coach doesn’t care about shit like that as long as it doesn’t affect my overall performance and health,” he replied in a dry tone.

“Oh, okay. I guess I’m to blame for you breaking your normal process.” I twiddled my thumbs and looked off into the distance. I had never been this nervous around my brother, and it made me uncomfortable.

“Naw, my wife said I couldn’t get any pussy unless I calmed down.”

I giggled even though he probably didn’t find it funny. I decided to bite the bullet and say what was on my mind.

“I know you’re mad and disappointed in me. I get it. I never meant for things to go as far as they did, and had I known it was this serious, I would have said something. I really don’t like when you’re mad at me, Siah. I know I was wrong, but I can’t take this.” My tear ducts should have been all dried out, but somehow they were still full and working overtime.

The cold expression on his face softened, which gave me hope that he would eventually forgive me.

“When you were first born, I was salty as hell. We already had two spoiled ass girls in the family, and I wanted another brother. Momma said that I would feel different when you got here and man, was she right.” Messiah let out a small chuckle as he ashed his blunt.

“The moment I saw your little face, I knew then I would move heaven and earth to keep you safe. Pops drilled it into Rule and me that we were the big brothers and we were next in line whenever he wasn’t around. The problem was, his ass was hardly ever around, so I felt like I always had to be the one to step up.”

Messiah shifted in his seat before he spoke again. “I apologize for the way I acted earlier. Yes, I’m pissed off that you left me in the dark, but more than anything I’m furious that someone hurt you and I wasn’t there to protect you. The moment Free told me what happened, all I could see was red, and when I saw your face, it sent me over the edge.”

“I’m sorry, Siah.”

“I don’t need you to be sorry, Honesty. I need you to understand this shit can’t happen again. You should have let us know the moment those messages started up again. As much as I want to understand your reasoning, I can’t let it slide. Every time I think about what could have happened to you, I want to hurt somebody. This world is a dangerous place, and I would lose my mind if I ever lost any of y’all. It’s my job to protect you, and I’ll gladly take my last breath to keep you safe. Those mothafuckas fucked with the wrong family, and I won’t rest until they pay with their lives.”

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as I listened to him speak with such finality. Messiah wasn’t a violent person, as far as I was aware, so the dark look in his eyes frightened me.

“Messiah, you have a family to think about. Don’t do anything stupid that could put your life or your freedom in jeopardy. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you and I had to face Yaya and the kids. It would be all my fault.” I pleaded.

“There’s a lot about this family you don’t know, and it’s for your own protection. Trust me, I have no intention of leaving my family behind, but I will make sure whoever did this gets what they deserve.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond, so I sat there in deep thought. When I was younger, I overheard conversations between my father and uncles, so I knew my family used to be into things I wasn’t supposed to know about. Still, I never looked into it, and my brother thought he was dangerous.

“I called Moe, and he and momma will be here tomorrow. I think it’s best if you close down your business until we figure out who is after you.”

“Hold on, I can’t do that. I already have customers that have paid me for their pieces, and I can’t afford to fall behind on my deadlines,” I argued. While I understood my safety was a priority, I wasn’t about to let anything or anyone mess up my business.

“I don’t give a fuck about a deadline or any of that shit. Give them their money back for all I care. What I do know is that you won’t be working in that mothafuckin’ boutique until the situation is handled.”

“Messiah, this isn’t fair. You can’t ask me to close down my business and let down my clients over some shit that’s out of my control.” My lips quivered, and I felt like a child who had just gotten grounded.

“I’m not asking. I made this shit perfectly clear, Honesty. I will not allow you to put your safety or the safety of anyone at risk.” Messiah shrugged as if what I said meant nothing to him.

“This isn’t fair! I finally have a career I love, and I’m not going to let anyone take it from me.” I yelled a little louder than I intended.

“And you heard what the fuck I said. Fuck those dresses and that business!” Siah stood up from his seat as I cried into my hands.

“You’ve got me fucked up if you think I’m going to take any chances where you are concerned. Do you see what they did to your face? Huh? They could have killed you, and that shit would have destroyed me.”

I saw the tears as they came down his face, and it shattered my heart.

“The fear in Freedom’s voice took me back to the day Tray died. I thought we would bounce back from that accident better than ever, but instead I had to watch my best friend be lowered into a fucking casket. I would kill everything and everyone behind you. Do you understand me? This family is my everything, and I’ll never let anyone take y’all from me. I’ll wipe out their entire lineage before I ever let that happen.”

“Hey, is everything okay?” Yaya peeked her head out from the sliding door.

Messiah wiped the tears from his face, then turned to face her.