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I stand up, sobbing, but cradle the phone between my ear and shoulder. I throw my things in a bag. I have to go now.
“I gave him the job. I fucking handed it to him. I played right into his lap. Another man controlling my life. Shit. This can’t be real. He has to care about me a little. What’s he planning to do? What did he say back to Dax?”
There’s a long pause.
“Are you sure you want to know this?”
“I’ve spent a lifetime being kept in the dark and I won’t do it again.”
“I’m so, so sorry. He said, ‘She’s going lose it. I would. I would freak the fuck out if she did this to me. I’m so glad I get to do it first.’ I wrote it down so I wouldn’t forget it. What can I do?”
I’m shellshocked. And pissed at him and myself. Fuck. Fuck. I start throwing things. I only have soft things in my room so it’s not very effective, but still, I throw them hard. Then I pick my phone back up. Steel forms in my back as I slide another wall into place. If there’s anything I’ve taught myself over the last ten years, it’s how to focus. Everything else can fall away when I go after something I want, and right now, I want to destroy him. And get that job.
“Fuck him. I’ll cry later. I need you.”
“You got me.”
“I’m going to send you a pitch idea and some rough drawings I did to get the point across to Hayden. I need you to work it up tonight so I can pitch it tomorrow afternoon. I’ll go before him. We’re only supposed to have one pitch, so his will never see the light of fucking day.”
“I got you.”
“I’m jumping on the first plane to New York, call you when I land.”
“Dax has called like ten times but I’ll sort this all out later. I have an ad to draw.”
“Throw it in my personal Google Drive, not the work one. And I’ll print and mount it in the morning.”
“You sound a bit manic.”
“Oh, I am. I’m a fucking mess, but I don’t have time to fall apart.”
“You’re super screwed up in the head.”
“That, I am,” I say.
“But I love you.”
My eyes fill with tears. I’m so happy to have her. “I love you, too. Thanks for having my back, Soph.”
I quickly turn off my phone, I have to compartmentalize this. I pack the rest of my stuff and try to block out the betrayal and pain.
How can I hate and love someone so desperately? I wanted to trust myself and him. I want to believe this isn’t him, but a lifetime of being wrong about everything has taught me my gut is bullshit. Never trust my gut.
Oh God, this hurts so much. Everyone says time heals all wounds, but it’s healed shit for me. Now I have to validate myself again and do the only thing I can control. I wipe my tears and get ready to go to work.
HAYDEN
We’ve been apart four days. Four days of me working towards our future. The one I planned, the one that’s evolved, and the one it’s time to claim. I can’t wait until this fucking day is over and we can be on the other side of this. She flew in early this morning and I haven’t seen her yet. She told me to meet her here but I’m dying to see her.
I can feel that this job is mine. I’ve already talked to Eva and Rinaldi and it’s all set. I don’t want it to get ugly or complicated. I’ve waited a lifetime for this moment. I see it and taste it, and I won’t let it slip away.
Finally, she breezes into the conference room. She’s stunning in a coral dress that highlights everything good about her. I can’t help but smile at what’s about to happen. I don’t lose. Our work is killer, but my pitch is the final deft blow to all of this. Her light floral scent fills my soul and I reach for her under the table. She keeps her attention on the West Coast idiots in the midst of their pitch. She tenses at my touch. I quickly scribble on a scrap of paper.
“Breathe. We got this.”
She nods curtly. She’s fucking stressed. It’s cool to see this killer instinct up close. In high school she was lying in wait, but over the past couple of years, I’ve seen what she’s become. I’ve been on the losing end of her wrath. These assholes have no idea what they’re in for. They finish and there’s light applause around the room.
I squeeze her knee again but before I can stand up, she up and in front of the room holding a presentation. I don’t move. Not sure what’s happening.