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We both know you’re smashing it. Did I tell you today I’m proud of you? It was the usual, with some added affirmations thrown in. And she wants me to communicate with the guys more.
Steph
This needy slut appreciates all the compliments, ty sweets. Okay, some homework. How you feeling about it?
Noah’s name appears on the screen, flashing up over the message thread.
“Hi.”
“Hi, how are you?” Noah’s grounding voice filters through the phone’s speaker.
“Good. How are you? How’s work?” I ask, getting up from the armchair by the window and making my way onto the bed. Moshi’s curled up already. As soon as I join him, he rolls over and starts batting at my feet.
“Usual for this time of year, the stress and tension’s starting to pick up with their upcoming exams.” He chuckles tiredly.
He’d been bringing more work home recently and staying late on some days too. He never complains about it, but I guess you don’t need to if you’re doing something you enjoy.
“That doesn’t sound great for you. Are you more stressed?”
“I want them to do well and succeed, but I can only do so much. Plus, I’m used to this every year, so no, I’m not overly stressed…yet.”
A sigh slips out without thought. “I envy your ability to not worry and overthink it all.”
He laughs. “I do worry. Just some things are more important to worry about than others.”
“What can worry you more than work?” I splutter. How can anyone not worry about work when we rely on it to live, to eat, to…well, survive.
“You, Bry, Nate, and Max. You’re all the most important things to me,” he admits, so easily and unguarded.
My heart quickens, the blood roaring through my ears at the idea he’s placed me so high in his life.
“Me?” I squeak, all my insecure notions so loudly reflected in that one, disbelieving word.
He doesn’t answer straight away, then there’s a faint rustle in the background.
Is he preparing to hang up? To tell me he’s joking?
“Rosy, I know we’re still new in our relationship with one another, and it’s not been your typical dating process so far, but I have no no doubt about how strong my feelings are for you.”
“Oh.”
He tuts, letting out another low chuckle. “I wasn’t aware I was doing a poor job of making sure you knew that.”
I groan, slapping a hand across my eyes. “No, it’s probably not you. I think everything’s on me and my overthinking pit of thoughts that seem to be turning on me. It’s not like you’ve done anything to make me think you don’t care.”
“But you don’t think I’ve shown you enough that I do?”
“I think I’m struggling enough to care about myself that it’s hard to believe that you would too.” The dark insecurity slips out, shameful but full of truth.
“That’s hard to hear,” he tells me, and I shrivel a little, knowing I must’ve crossed a line.
“Sir?”
Noah’s voice becomes muffled, then he says, “I’m sorry, Rosy. I need to go. Can we talk about this later?”
“I…sure,” I agree, forcing my voice to brighten as the call ends. “Well, Moshi, at least you’re easier to read, right?”
He chirps, rolling onto his back and flashing me his belly. Sighing loudly, I stroke my hand through his fur as I try to steer my mind away from the spiralling thoughts.
