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“Shareth?” I paused. “No, you’re far too young and your hair and skin tone is different. Who are you?”

“I’m his son, Yareth.”

“Shouldn’t you know how your father feels about me.”

“It’s precisely because my father hates you that I want to be your friend.”

“I no longer am capable of taking lovers.” I responded bluntly, dismissing the nuisance.

“You know you don’t have to fuck your friends, right?”

And thus began our long friendship. Even back when life and death had no meaning for me, his presence wasn’t annoying. Yet why had he betrayed me? Why was he here? Just what was I missing? Questions upon questions compounded themselves upon me but no answer or revelation could penetrate them.

I hummed that melody, which had saved me in what felt like minutes before, speaking biological definitions in tune to the notes in my head until serenity overcame me. Checking my pulse while controlling the flow of the blood within my veins, I breathed a sigh of relief, following Yareth’s voice.

Slowly the muffled voice which I had assumed to be speaking manifested itself as screaming. In confirmation of my regained pathos, my heartbeat accelerated.

“Patience,” I breathed. “Rushing guarantees failure.”

When my body stabilized itself, I continued on in an even pace. No matter what state he was in, it was only simple biology to put him back together.

* * *

Something in the woman’s gaze made The Shadow put down his violin. “What is it?”

“What is what?” asked the woman.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because I want to know if patience can really yield any fruit.”

Chapter 25

The Price of Power

The Musician

Standing before the Emerald Lady, it occurred to me that what I wanted to ask was completely outside of my vocabulary. How is it that you were supposed to express concepts such as God and the supernatural? Theology was its own branch of language and even in Arabic, I wasn’t sure if I could accurately state every word relating to spiritual matters.

“You wanted to see me?”

“I want to see…”

“Yes?”

Suddenly, inspiration took over me and I took out my violin, beginning to play a funeral song for Christ. The melody was older, belonging to an ancient people I could not recall the name of, but from that time of gods to the monotheistic one of my memory, it was meant to be a prayer for the dead.

I relaxed, taking on a slow and somber melody as Golgotha overcame me. Even if I didn’t quite remember what it meant to have a God, I let the music carry me into a trance beyond logic and earth.

Please, whoever is out there, hear this song and help me.

I closed my eyes, swaying to the call of something beyond comprehension, the flash of blue on my wrist reminding me that I was once a person with a country and God and people to call my own. The longer I continued, the more something resembling memory overtook me. I had played this song before. Not in the temples of this world, but in a building called a church.

There had been people I knew there. I had things like family and friends and a life. It was still blurry, but the more I extended the hymn, the more I could just make out the imposing domes and icons with their flat hands and large eyes.

There were others with me too, faceless figures in instruments of their own, but instead of the anxiety people of Maretz gave me, there was a strange sense of relief. There were words too. The singing wasn’t in Arabic or in English or French or any of the languages I knew. It was in something older. Yet when I tried to hold onto the words, they escaped me. There was something about the language they were speaking, something which would answer all my questions and whatever force was keeping my memories at bay was also preventing me from making out the words.

A wetness soaked my face. To be so close to what was mine, yet so far was a pain beyond explanation so I continued to play, the song a prayer which would never be answered. Like a monk who wandered desert caves in search of Heaven, my fingers and bow trekked on. My muscle memory so perfect that there were none of the usual problems I had with force and tension.