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Hell, maybe I didn’t think that I deserved to be happy at all. I’d made a promise to a dying man, and I was breaking that promise every single day. I deserved to be miserable, not happy.
When I didn’t say anything, Ryan said, “The shit part of it is I feel like I’m only pushing you on this because of Claudia. If she hadn’t walked in our bar, I’d still have my head in the sand, pretending your life was none of my business.”
The mention of her name made my entire body warm, especially near the area of my pants that held her phone number. Her face flashed in my mind, the flush of embarrassment staining her cheeks as she gave me the scrap of paper. She couldn’t get out of my bar quick enough. It was as adorable as it was infuriating.
Nick nodded. “I feel the same way.”
I jerked my head up, unable to remember what the hell we were talking about.
“What way is that?” I pretended not to have just been in another Claudia-induced fog.
“That Claudia is the reason we’re just now getting to the bottom of this. I knew you were unhappy, but I never knew why. I never thought about really pressing you for an answer. I always figured you’d kick my ass,” Ryan said with a grin.
I wanted to be shocked and surprised that Claudia was the reason the two of them were suddenly on my case, but I wasn’t. As much as I tried to deny it or pretend there was nothing between her and me, I was only lying to myself. And although I had no fucking clue what it was exactly, I did know that there was something.
“What is it about Claudia that has you both so invested in my love life all of a sudden?” I asked the question, hoping they’d give me some insight. It was like I couldn’t see anything clearly anymore—everything was coated in a layer of fog I couldn’t see my way out of.
“First of all,” Ryan said, then pointedly tapped his empty glass on the bar top. Nick lifted the whiskey and poured us all another round of shots. “I’ve never, and I mean never, seen you look at someone the way you look at her. Your entire face lights up. You make fun of me for being a walking chick flick, but you’re a fucking girly romance movie waiting to happen whenever she walks through our doors.” He downed his shot and burst out laughing like he was the funniest fucking person in the room.
Nick joined in, laughing hard before he
downed his own shot. “It’s true. You actually smile when she comes in. And you flirt. You,” he repeated, bursting out laughing again. “You actually flirt. It makes my night seeing that shit.”
“It’s like watching a baby deer on ice for the first time,” Ryan added, tipping back his head as he swiped at his eyes.
I should have known he’d reference a fucking Disney movie. The two of them should have started a damn comedy tour with how hilarious they both thought they were.
I glared at each of them. “You both know I can kick your asses, right?”
“Worth it,” they said in unison.
Assholes.
Ryan calmed himself down and looked at me sincerely. “Bro, seeing you with Claudia made me realize just how unhappy you’ve really been. You come to life when she’s around. That’s the only way I can explain it. You’re not like that when you’re with Shelby. It’s like you’re going through the motions, which makes complete sense now. Everything you do for her is out of obligation. I totally get it. I just don’t want that for you.”
“I refuse to throw away my relationship with Shelby for a woman I don’t even know,” I said, doing my best to think rationally.
Nick shook his head. “How you feel about Shelby has nothing to do with Claudia. One doesn’t have anything to do with the other.”
“It suddenly feels that way. Like I’m only now really wanting to end things with Shelby so that I can see if there’s something there with Claudia. That’s fucked up. I refuse to be that kind of man,” I said with a snarl.
“What kind is that, exactly?” Nick asked.
“The kind who breaks up with his girl for another one. I could never live with myself.”
“But it’s not about that. You said yourself that you’ve been unhappy for years. Maybe you met Claudia so that you’d be forced to take action in your life. She’s your catalyst,” Ryan suggested, sounding like a self-help book.
“How do you feel about her? I get that you don’t even know her, but there’s a spark, right? A connection of some kind?”
That sounded so strange coming from Nick. I would have bet money that kind of question would only come out of Ryan’s mouth.
How could I describe what I felt when I saw her? I wasn’t sure. “Something’s there. I don’t know what it is, but it’s more than just attraction.”
Nick leaned toward me. “You feel pulled toward her? Drawn in some way?” He noticed my suspicious expression and held up his hands. “I’m not making fun of you or trying to be like Ryan. I’m sincerely asking.”
I nodded because I did feel a pull toward Claudia. Anytime she was in the room, my body demanded to be closer to hers. It was like there was a cord tethering me to her, some sort of force, and I had to fight against it every moment she was in my vicinity. If either of us moved too far away, the cord yanked, drawing me back in.
“There’s something you can’t really explain,” Nick said, “but you just know is different from anything else ever has been before, right?”
