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But Fiona seemed distant, unhappy.
Had I caused that change in her somehow? I’d never been dishonest with her or misled her in any way about what was happening between us. But at some level, I couldn’t help but feel responsible. I sat in my chair, propped my elbows on the arms, and tented my fingers together, considering where I’d gone wrong.
She played my revelation about the possible cancer treatment emerging from the clinical trials close to the vest. I didn’t even get so much as a raised eyebrow from her. On the other hand, I had no idea how advanced her grandmother’s illness was at this point. But not to have any reaction whatsoever seemed strange.
Just then, I stood and rounded my desk, and as I did, I passed by the chair Fiona sat in minutes earlier. I caught a passing whiff of her perfume as it lingered. I wasn’t good with flowers and such, but the scent was something I’d expect to smell on a springtime stroll.
I continued across my office and walked towards the vast expanse of windows, which provided me views as far as I could see. I made my way into the bright yellow glow of the afternoon sun and stopped as the first streaks of warmth stretched across my face. Allowing my gaze to wander, I took in the horizon as I ruminated.
I wanted to understand Fiona’s problem. Without doing so, getting her to deliver the presentation I needed would be difficult, if not impossible. The past few weeks, and especially the last couple of days, were evidence of that fact.
Now more than ever, I seriously considered confronting her with what I knew.
But would that cause her to pull further away or bring her closer to me? Where Fiona was concerned, I wasn’t so certain any longer. I made lazy laps along the entire length of the windows as I considered the situation. Then another realization hit me.
I hadn’t slept with anyone else since she came to work for me. Granted, I’d been swamped with work on the Link Protocol. Any time I was the midst of a massive project, my libido took a back seat. But… no, this was something different.
Since the first time I’d slept with her, I couldn’t recall having interest in any other woman, whether in the office or outside it. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I wasn’t so dim as to think it meant nothing at all either.
Perhaps at some level, I wanted to see where things would go with her. Well, more specifically, the Fiona I met at the bar. The new version of Fiona… I couldn’t say the same thing.
Maybe I was being a bit too hard on her. After all, she wasn’t missing a beat in the lab. As far as the presentation went, I still had confidence in her. Perhaps what she and I needed right now was to get back to the way things used to be a bit.
If I were to lighten things up, she’d relax.
Would it work? I had no idea, but it was far superior to continuing on the current path.
FIONA
Even though Gabe and I seemed to have patched things up for the moment, I’d never been under so much pressure in my life.
I still hadn’t been sleeping well. But with the presentation on the horizon now, I had no choice but to focus more and more of my time on it. The sleep deprivation was starting to take a toll. During the hours I was awake, which was about twenty of them a day now, I yawned almost at an uncontrollable level.
It goes without saying I had trouble concentrating both on my own work and in meetings with the team. In the past few days, I’d begun to experience limited mobility in my neck. It got so bad for a day or so, I could barely turn it in one direction or the other.
Yet, knowing how important everything was and how much we all had on the line, I needed to do whatever I could. In no way did I want to let the team, Gabe, my grandmother or myself down. So if I had to push myself a little harder than normal, I would.
Most of what remained to be done was my responsibility, so even if I wanted to get help, I couldn’t. Gabe was counting on me, and in the wake of our last conversation, I wanted to do whatever was necessary to make him proud he’d made the decision he did.
Yet as the days wore on, the fatigue continued to mount. At this point, I more or less lived on coffee and soda. And so it was I sat at my workstation, and as I looked down at the page, I began to see spots of light. Small at first, they grew in diameter, and before long, I found it difficult to make out my notes at all. I tried blinking my eyes and rubbing them for at least a minute straight, thinking they were perhaps just tired.
Yet, even with my eyelids closed tight, the blotchy bright spots remained. By now, there was no use trying to write, as I couldn’t even see the page a foot from my face. I opened my eyes once more to try and adjust my vision, and it was around that time the room seemed brighter than normal. And not just a little brighter but much, much brighter, to the point where I felt the need to shield my eyes.
As if that wasn’t enough, the slightest sound seemed deafening all of a sudden. I pressed the tips of my fingers against my ears, squeezing my eyes closed tight in the process. Hunched over my workstation, a sour taste entered my mouth, as I struggled against a sudden rush of nausea.
What the hell was happening to me?
It wasn’t long before Andrew noticed my obvious discomfort and made his way towards me. I felt his fingertips touch my shoulder, but the force of it seemed magnified by the sheer fact it caused me to move.
Now rocking back and forth in my chair, I moaned, deep and long.
“Fiii-oo-nnn-aaa-hhh.” His voice echoed inside my head like a thousand cymbals all crashing into one another at the same time.
“S-s-s-hh… s-s-s-hh…” I begged with a whisper, shaking in place.
Just then, I felt Andrew’s hand press into the middle of my back. He began to rub it with small, gentle circles. Returning my hushed statement with a soft one of his own he said, “I think I know what’s happening, Fiona. Can you stand?”
I remained motionless for a moment or so. After a shaky, shallow inhale, I cracked my eyelids a fraction and glanced towards Andrew. He stood above me with his hand extended. I reached for it and began to stand. As I did, I felt weakness come to my legs. Lurching for him, I grabbed hold of him just as I was about to fall. Even the small movement made it feel as if my head might split in two.
I whimpered as I clutched onto his shirt, burying my face in his chest.
“Come on Fiona,” he said. “Hold on to me. We’ll get you taken care of.”
GABE
Believe it or not, it was the first time I’d ever been to the company infirmary. Not long after I made my way inside, an older woman who I assumed was the nurse approached.
“Mr. Hawkins?” she said, as she neared. “Sir… Are you ill?”
“What?” I replied, shaking my head. “No. I’m here about the woman you admitted not long ago, Fiona Matthews.”
“Oh yes, Fiona. What about her?”
I looked past the nurse for a moment, surveying the entryway. It was as you might expect. An array of first aid equipment, a couple of exam tables and even a defibrillator. I didn’t see Fiona anywhere. My perusal didn’t go unnoticed.
“She’s in there,” the nurse said at last, as she gestured behind me.
I turned in place and looked down a short hallway, not more than about twenty feet in length.
“It looks like the lights are off in there,” I said, as I did a half-turn back towards the nurse.
“Mmm, hmm. Yes.”
“Why? What’s wrong with her?”
Over the next several minutes, the nurse explained she suspected Fiona suffered from an acute migraine, most likely brought on by stress. For the better part of an hour, Fiona had been unable to move, much less speak. The nurse had only been able to talk to Fiona in the past fifteen minutes. It was the nurse’s opinion that once she was able to get some of the things causing her stress under control, her symptoms should improve.
As she finished, I raised my hand to my chin and rubbed it, as I considered the fallout. If this handicapped Fiona to such an extent she couldn’t function in the lab, let alone do the presentation in St. Barths, well, I needed a new plan and I needed it fast.
“I see,” I said as my eyes met the nurse’s. “And, if removing the stress doesn’t help her to improve?”
The nurse glanced towards the room with Fiona in it before she replied. “Well understand, this isn’t really my area of expertise, Mr. Hawkins. To get a definitive answer, you’d have to consult with a specialist. I’m not in a position to…”
“Yes, okay, I understand,” I said with a casual wave, cutting her off mid-sentence. “Let me rephrase the question. If we’re able to get her past this initial episode and remove some of the stress… If the headaches were to clear up, it would be reasonable to assume they were acute and not chronic. Would that be a fair assessment?”
The nurse considered my question for a moment or so.
“Yes,” she said with a slow nod. “Of course, it’s still possible this is the onset of a chronic condition. But we’ll only know that for sure after the stressors have been removed, followed by a period of time to see if they return.”
“Okay, well, I think that answers my question.”
As I finished speaking, I gestured towards the dark examination room with a nod of my chin. “Is she asleep?”
“No. No sir, she hasn’t been sleeping. I’m keeping the room dark as it reduces the impact of light on her condition.”
