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“I’ve just been so uptight to come around here lately. They shot my baby a few weeks ago, and my nerves haven’t been the same ever since,” she admitted.
I looked at her funny because that was my first time hearing her mention it.
“I heard about a little boy getting shot a few weeks ago, but I didn’t know that it was your son. Why the fuck wouldn’t you tell me that?” I asked her.
“I don’t like talking about it. It’s a sensitive subject for me because, honestly, we could have been burying him. I grew up in these projects, but over the years, I have begun to hate it here. It’s not safe, but my mom loves it here for her own personal reasons, so I’ll always be here, especially as long as she’s here. I don’t want to talk about it, though. I feel like I’m just getting a little bit of my sanity back from dealing with that,” she said, and I nodded, respecting her wishes.
She laid
her head back down on my chest, and I was hoping to have a good conversation with her ass, but when I heard heavy breathing, I knew then that she’d fallen asleep. It had been a while since I’d been on an intimate level like this with a woman, but I liked this shit. I could get used to it.
8
Journey Evans
One month later
“Don’t act like that, beautiful. Please, just get in the car with me. I’m already taking a chance by bringing my ass down here in the first place. Come on, baby, let me make it up to you.” Raheem all but got on his hands and knees and begged me to get in the car with him.
It was 7:40 in the morning, and I was at school, just standing in the car drop off section because my mom had just dropped me off about five minutes ago. I was about to head for class since the first bell had already rang, but all of a sudden, I heard my name called. Out of all the people who could have been calling my name, I never in a million years thought that it would be Raheem, especially not this early in the morning. He was the type of guy who didn’t wake up until later in the afternoon sometimes.
I wanted to continue ignoring him, but his effort this morning was so convincing for me to skip school and hang with him, which was what he was asking me for. Since my little brother was shot, this was my first time hearing from, let alone even seeing Raheem. Of course, I still loved him, but the fact of the matter was that my brother and I were caught in the middle of a cross fire and he ran off like a little bitch, not even bothering to help us out. That showed me pretty much all I needed to know about him, and for that, the feelings that I had for him now were a little conflicted. Like, would it be a betrayal to my family, especially Jaden, if I were to start back messing around with Raheem? Then, on the other hand, Raheem was my first love, so I couldn’t just stop messing around with him altogether. I was so confused on what decision I should make.
“Come on, baby. You going to fuck around and get us both busted. What if the security guard or some shit come out here?” he asked.
He was in the driver’s seat, but the passenger side window was down, and that’s how he was talking to me. I loved this man too much to watch him get in trouble because of my stubbornness, so I quickly walked in the direction of the car and got inside. Like a bat out of hell, he quickly got out of dodge, and I threw my head back against the headrest, thinking to myself that I had to be crazy for doing this.
This man had showed me time and time again that he didn’t love me, but here I was, coming back for more each time. Because of him, there was now a dent in the relationship that I had with my mother because I felt like he was changing me. Then again, I didn’t even know if I cared too much about the dent in the relationship with my mother. I didn’t know what her deal was, but lately, she’d been on her high horse and was all of a sudden happy. We were spending more and more weekends at our auntie Sky’s house, and even when we were home, she would walk out of the room with her phone, so she could take phone calls from whoever had her sneaking to talk. She was acting like a little school girl who just got her first boyfriend. and the shit was mad annoying.
I was beginning to hate her ass! She wanted to preach down on me when I got pregnant about having respect for myself and my body, yet there she was probably fuckin’ somebody else while she was still married to my father! Our relationship would never get back to the way it was, and truth be told, I no longer cared. I despised her so much these days that the last visit I had with my father, which was two weeks ago, I asked him if I could move in with him permanently. She didn’t give a fuck about me anyway. All she cared about were the fuckin’ twins.
Although she never came out of her mouth and told me that, her actions that led me to believe that she felt this way. She’d already rode me a little harder than she did my little brother and sister, but after Jaden was shot, she became more of a drill sergeant to me than a damn mother. I received so many demands from her, and she told me that she loved me less and less. Granted, I get it that she was somewhat still mad for what happened to Jaden, but at the end of the day, I was her child too, so how long was she going to make me pay for that shit? It happened two months ago. Jaden was completely fine, back to school, playing sports, and getting on my nerves like he used to, so she just needed to move the fuck on like everyone else had done!
“You hungry? I can stop off somewhere and get you some breakfast,” Raheem asked once we pulled up to a red light.
I shook my head no that I wasn’t hungry since I’d eaten cereal this morning before I came to school. I loved Raheem, but I hated riding in the car with him. Not only did it smell like weed smoke, but it was dirty as hell in there. There were cups in the cupholders, and it was no telling how long they’d been in there. All types of toys and food wrappers were in the back from his daughter, and there were crumbs and things in the seats too. I was thankful that I had my jacket wrapped around my waist just in case something decided that it wanted to crawl up on me.
I had no idea where Raheem was taking me, and I didn’t even bother to ask. All I knew was that we’d been in the car far for about an hour, and each time I felt myself dozing off, I would quickly wake back up either due to his speeding or from the music getting a little louder. We eventually took the exit for west palm beach, and I still didn’t ask any questions. In about ten minutes or so, we pulled up to a motel, and I loudly sucked my teeth.
“Really? You wanted me to get in the car with you, so you could take me somewhere to have sex? We can’t do anything today anyway because I’m on my period. You know what, just take me back home!” I snapped once I realized what the hell he had up his sleeve.
The old Journey wouldn’t have said shit and would have probably just gone with the flow, but I was so tired of being disrespected. Plus, I had so much on my plate these days that the smallest things would set me off. Him bringing me to this motel like I was a prostitute was very insulting to me.
“Chill the fuck out! I didn’t bring you down here to fuck you! My ole girl and my baby mama are at the apartment, so I couldn’t bring your ass over there. You already know that when it comes to me and you, we can’t really be all out in the open with our shit, which is why I didn’t stay in Miami. I figured we could come some little miles from home where motha fuckas wouldn’t know us! I got the room, so we could chill and talk. I’m not even thinking about no pussy right now,” he said with a very serious look on his face.
Honestly, I didn’t know whether to believe him or to think that he was just kicking bullshit my way like he always did. The thing about Raheem is that he was one of those men who would lie straight in your face, put it on everything including God and his daughter. Because he did that, he made it hard to believe half the things that he was saying. I didn’t bother responding to what he said, I just got out of the car once he parked it in front of one of the motel rooms.
I assumed that he’d already been inside because he had the key in his hand, which he used to let the two of us inside. He opened the door and stood next to it while he allowed me to walk inside. Once I was fully inside the room, my hands went over my mouth in astonishment, and I could feel that goofy smile on my face again. On the king sized bed were rose petals, that spelled out, I’m sorry, and next to it were single roses, candy, and even a little teddy bear. There were little gift bags on the bed as well from Tiffany & Co., Victoria’s secret, and Pandora.
Raheem wasn’t the romance type of guy and had never done anything even similar to this since the two of us had been together. Yes, he’s bought me gifts before, but usually I wouldn’t receive them until about two something in the morning when I would sneak and meet him in the parking lot if I was staying the night at my grandmother’s house.
“I know I haven’t been the best nigga to you, and I apologize for that. I know it’s no excuse, Journey, but a nigga is still young, so I have a lot of maturing and learning to do, so just bear with me, alright? I know this doesn’t make up for the shit that happened with your little brother, but it’s a start. I don’t really want to bring that night up, but just know that I was caught off guard. I heard those gunshots, and I fuckin’ panicked. It brought me back to a time in my life when I was fourteen years old and I’d gotten shot,” he said, standing in front of me and raising his shirt, so I could see the staples that were in his stomach due to him getting shot years ago. “I remember the pain that shit brought me, and I wasn’t trying to experience no shit like that again. I apologize for putting you in a situation where you felt like I left you, and know that from this day forward, I’ll never do know shit like that again,” he let me know right before he leaned down and kissed my lips.
I swear, that kiss held magic, and it removed whatever ill feelings that I had toward him. I didn’t bother to respond because it was honestly nothing that needed to be said. Instead, I removed the shoes that were on my feet and crawled into the bed, so I could go through the gift bags that he’d gotten for me. This wasn’t my first time receiving nice things from him, but I the Tiffany necklace and earrings were the best gift that he’d ever gotten me. In the pandora bag, there were three more charms for me to add onto the bracelet that my daddy had gotten for me last year for Christmas. I laughed when I pulled out the two thongs that he’d gotten me from Victoria’s Secret.
“Really, bae?” I asked him through my laughs.
He nonchalantly shrugged, like him buying me a thong was no big deal.
