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She knew exactly what Chris meant when he said he should have been the one who died because Sarah often thought the exact same thing. She was just some kid working in a law office with no direction. She wasn’t the world’s best paralegal. She wasn’t even the city’s best paralegal. Sarah was average and normal and she had made a mistake with a guy she thought wasn’t that great, but wasn’t that bad, either.
And that was the trouble, she thought, turning into the parking lot of her apartment complex. Jared hadn’t been “that bad.” He wasn’t a great guy or even a good guy. He just wasn’t that bad.
So she had slept with him, maybe out of sadness or loneliness or maybe just because she was drunk and horny, but she had done it.
And now she was going to have a baby.
She touched her belly subconsciously as she felt the tiny flutters of a kick. She had been hiding her pregnancy for weeks now and no one had caught on, but the charade couldn’t last much longer. Soon, she’d have to tell everyone that she was going to be a mother.
What would Chris think of her?
*
Chris thought Sarah was the most perfect girl he’d ever met. Too bad he was no good for her. Instead of going home, he headed over to his friends’ place for a beer. Friday nights at Jake’s place were always a win. He was another staff sergeant at Forrest AFB and he always had great advice.
Since Chris returned to the states, he’d been seeing a therapist to help him cope with his grief, but he’d also just spent a lot of time talking to Jake.
When he showed up at his friend’s house, he parked on the side of the street and hurried up to the door. He rang the bell and this time, someone opened it.
“Hey, stranger!” Heather, Jake’s wife, opened the door and greeted him with a hug. “I’m so glad you came by! The guys have already left, but Jake is in the living room if you want to go chat. Can I get you something to drink?”
“I’m okay,” he said. “Thanks, though.” Chris went over to the living room where Jake was fiddling on his laptop.
“Hey, buddy,” Jake set the laptop down when Chris showed up. “Didn’t know you were coming over tonight.”
“Yeah, I went to dinner at Garrett’s family’s house,” he said. “So I didn’t think I’d make it over.”
Jake raised an eyebrow. He knew all about Chris’ crush on Sarah. While Jake wasn’t too manly to talk about his feelings or relationships, he also didn’t pry.
“How did that go?” Jake asked.
“It was different than I expected.”
“Awkward?”
“No, just different. Sarah was perfect. I didn’t expect that.”
Jake laughed. “You’ve got it bad, my friend. What did you expect?”
“I’m not sure,” Chris said. “Not what I found, though.” He thought she would be weird or upset. He thought she would cry the whole time. He thought she would take one look at him and think of her brother, that it would break her.
But Sarah seemed unbreakable.
Chris wasn’t sure how she seemed so confident about everything, so certain. Even when she’d been setting the table, she’d looked at him with admiration and respect, but not with anxiety. She hadn’t been nervous around him, not like how he felt around her.
“So,” Jake continued. “Did you make a move?”
“We’re going to see Garrett together.”
At that, Jake set his drink down and nodded.
“Good plan, brother. When are you going?”
“Saturday.”
“So you’ve got a week to calm down before you go.”
“I didn’t freak out today,” Chris said. “I thought I would. We’ve been talking online for so long that I feel like I know her really well.”
