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Jay ran soft fingers down the side of her cheek and cupped her chin, tilting it so she could not help but meet his eyes and she was lost, mesmerized in the kaleidoscope of colors beneath the thick, dark lashes. She might have floated, stopped breathing, done a million unbelievable tasks, but nothing registered. All her focus was on him and only him. His mouth met hers and she no longer knew reason. The world exploded like fireworks, like gunpowder. Her lips parted, yielding for him as his hand moved from her chin to behind her head.
In turn, she wound hers around his neck. She could not get him close enough to her. She drank him in, champagne and wood and cloves and cherry, deep, dark cherries, everything that made Jay, Jay. The room spun, and her bones melted in his arms. She wanted a million things she had no idea she wanted before nor even quite knew what they precisely were.
Too soon he broke away, but with a smile, a real, full smile. He nuzzled her neck before nudging her upon her own feet. He straightened her sleeves.
“You don’t need a damned lesson, Urs, and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.”
Chapter Eleven
Music and light surged through Jay’s limbs. He was a liar, but if Urs could accept the partial truth he told her, maybe he could transform it into whole truth. Maybe he could believe away the cravings and the mistakes and start new. No past, only present.
He lifted Urs off the floor a little on the turn and she squealed, crinoline and hoops floating around his legs. Couples passed, but they were mere shadows weaving outside the glow radiating from Urs.
Urs.
That was who she was to him now because she needed a nickname and it needed to be from him.
“I’m not sure that’s part of the dance.”
“It is when we do it.” He twirled her again. “We’re making a name for ourselves in Philadelphia.”
“As provincial Delawareans with odd ideas?” She pulled back, her steps in perfect time to the music, plum-colored flounces swishing.
How could anyone else compete with her on the floor? No wonder Carolina had been jealous. Urs dazzled. How had he not seen it before?
He drew her back, her body against his, her dark gold curls brushing the fabric of his shirt. “The most charming and attractive couple on the floor.”
“The first for you, certainly, and the second for us both.” Urs laughed against his chest.
“You’ve got charm.” Jay whispered the words in her ear, reveling in her scent once more.
“How much have you had to drink exactly?” She gave him a withering glare.
Not enough, but the quip died on his lips. In the moment, it wasn’t true, even clothed and on display. With her of all people. Urs was almost like a friend. A real friend, or at least the closest he’d ever had to one. He relished her nearness for the last note, his hands in hers, fitting. Jay held her for another beat and sighed.
“I suppose it is getting late,” he said.
“There will be many other parties and dances. We’ll impress them at each.”
His breath stopped. How many more would there be? No, he wouldn’t think of that. He squeezed her hand. “True. Go find your father, Urs.”
She stiffened and tightened her jaw. What was the matter? What had he done wrong?
“Why do you keep calling me that?”
He grinned. That was the issue? He’d be calling her that for the rest of his life now.
“So, I can be the only one. Hurry, I’ll fetch your wrap and the hats.”
Before she could retort or huff, he made his way through the crowd, still smiling. He neared the waiting servants when someone reached out and caught his sleeve. He whirled around, and it was as if mud splashed in his eyes.
“I heard you’d be here.”
“Caleb.” He hissed the name.
His cousin Matthew’s valet’s lips smiled but his eyes were hard. Why could the presumptive man never stay away?
Jay gulped, his palms already sweating. Just when he banished the nightmares, the past clawed at him once more.
