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He fakes a smile and scratches his head.
“You wanted to talk, so talk,” I say.
“Did you mean it? The letter?”
I shake my head as disappointment fills me. “I can’t believe you didn’t read it until now.”
“Neither can I.” He sighs. “I just… .” his voice trails off.
“You just, what Nathan?”
“I didn’t handle things as well as I could have.”
“You think?”
We stare at each other, and I know that this is it: my moment of truth where I need to say all the things I didn’t say before. I have so many regrets, and I need to be honest now, or forever hold my peace.
“Neither did I, Nathe. This isn’t all your fault. I’m to blame as well.” I shrug sadly. “I shouldn’t have left a letter. I should have said it to your face.”
“Can you say it now?”
“It’s too late.” I sigh. “It won’t mean the same now as it did then so just forget it.”
We stare at each other and sadness rolls over me. It really is too late for us.
There is nothing left to say that can erase the hurt between us.
He takes my hand in his and rests it on my thigh. “Please.” He closes his eyes as if steeling himself to hear it. “Eliza, you said you’d wait forever.”
I get a lump in my throat. Seeing him in the flesh brings it all back. The happiness, the heartache, and everything in between.
“I wanted you to know that I understood that you needed time, and that as your friend, I wanted to give it to you.”
His eyes hold mine. “Why would you say that?” he asks softly.
“Because I was watching you struggle.”
He squeezes my hand in his as if prompting me to speak openly. “How was I struggling?”
“Nathe.” I smile over at the beautiful man in front of me. I know it’s too late for us but I still adore him. “You were going along as normal, and then all of a sudden you got these feelings of attraction for me. And you acted on them almost instantly.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Oh, what, you waited a few weeks?”
“That was a long time not telling you, Lize.”
“Anyway, my point is that once we were together and in love—and I do know that you loved me—it was full speed ahead. But I also knew that you wouldn’t leave me, and that, even if you had feelings for Robert, you would never have left me for him. That’s not the kind of person you are.”
His brow furrows as we stare at each other.
“I wanted to give you a choice, Nathan.”
“Why?” He whispers.
“Because ten years being your best friend has taught me one thing: your happiness was more important to me than our relationship.” I get a lump in my throat. “I could never let you give up your happiness for mine. I loved you too much for that.”
He drops his head.
