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He didn't supply one.
She pressed his shoulder with hers in the darkness. "You're an odd duck, sir. You look so . . ."
"So what?"
"Never mind."
"I'd like to know what you think. Might as well talk about something."
"How about that bacon we had yesterday? Talk about the bottom of the lot," she said.
"You've got me curious. I look so what?"
"Well, you look so soft, I was going to say. You've got really gentle eyes. They're scared, too. Sometimes. Like that night they dropped the sappers."
"I was scared. Till I saw you with that bow. You looked like you were at target practice."
She didn't say anything. He broke the silence. "Speaking of setting an example-I should go up those stairs and see-"
"No. Give it another minute. We're here, it's dark, and you smell... comforting."
"Is that a soft smell?"
"See, you are hurt."
"No. Interesting to see yourself through another's eyes. What another person thinks."
"I want it to be over. I'm down here in the dark pretending there's no fighting, no Crocodile. No memories of Martinez and his gang. You can't imagine how good it feels, to have all that gone."
Actually he could. Valentine had sought oblivion in lust in the past...
They sat in the dark, feeding off each other's warmth, conducted through her hard-muscled shoulder.
"Sir, why are you what you are?" Styachowski asked.
"You mean a Cat? And it's 'David' or 'Val' when I'm off my feet."
"Okay, Val. Why?"
"Why don't you go first?"
"I took up soldiering because I knew I could fight. When I was little, about six, I got into a scrap with a boy two years older man me. I beat him. When I say 'beat him' I really mean 'beat'-he ended up in the hospital. After that my mom told me about my dad. He'd been a Bear, in a column marching back from some fight in Oklahoma. Caught Mom's eye somehow, and they had a night before he moved on. She said she wasn't thinking-just doing patriotic duty she called it; I showed up nine months later. She said the hunting-men were like wild animals and I had to control myself and never lose my temper. The doc said that was superstition, but I dunno."
"Your mom may have been right. My father was a Bear, too."
"So you joined to be like him?"
"Something like that. I think it was my way of knowing him. He was dead by that time."
She sniffed. "Oh, I'm sorry."
"So the Bears didn't want you?"
"No. But I still want to be one. It's like this monster inside that wants to get out, wants to fight. I'm afraid that if the monster doesn't get to take it out on the enemy, it'll get out another way."
Valentine had never met someone with the same dilemma before. After a moment, he said: "You worried that you're a threat to others?"
"I meant myself."
