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“You look much better,” he tells me, smiling as he studies my face.
“You mean, I am more attractive now than I was?” He flinches, eyes twitching in surprise, and his cheeks redden, not knowing how to respond.
He clears his throat, trying to find a way out of the hole he’s dug. “You’ve always been beautiful and attractive, Cassandra. That’s why my brother…” Lucas stops mid-sentence, realizing he told me more than he intended.
I observe him, trying not to miss any details about this, but he avoids looking back at me while he composes himself into a military-style perfect soldier façade. Disappointed that he wastes my energy by fabricating a net of lies instead of being honest with me, I take the soup from him and dig in.
“The food is delicious, eat while it’s warm,” I order. Lucas jerks at my hard tone, watching my hard expression with regret. While he eats with me in silence, he hides his gaze from me, lowering it to the floor. I have an opportunity to scrutinize him.
Lucas has lost weight, and the dark circles underneath his eyes make them look sunken and tired. His face is pale and etched with a defeat that wasn’t there before. I finish my soup and put my container away, then climb down off my bed and kneel in front of him. The apprehension written all over his face makes me anxious, and the hair on my nape raises. My lips part, wanting to ask him, but before I can, he stands. I grab onto his legs and press him back down on the chair.
“Cassandra…” His warning sounds as if he is dying on the inside.
Ignoring my need to know, I give him something he needs the most. “Lucas, I am here for you. Just tell me what is wrong.” My gaze searches his tormented ones full of violent suffering, I gasp as he tries to hide his secrets from me shutting me out. “Let me help you.”
He trembles as I reach to touch his face twisted in agony. “Remember, I am your family. Let me be there for you, please,” I beg, but the words I utter are lost in translation since my heart is disconnected from their true meaning.
Salty tears stream down his cheeks like rivers of agony, and his frame trembles with wretched emotion threatening to rip him apart. Abruptly, he stands, holding back a wail, leaving me kneeling on the floor as he storms out.
Hurt, I press my forehead on the chair Lucas vacated. I listen to my racing heart, waiting to reconnect with lost memories. Pent-up emotions leak from me in waves, as I silently weep, feeling helpless. Everything is too depressing and confusing for me to pick up on nosediving emotions.
Beep… Beep… Beep… Whoosh…
Beep… Beep… Beep… Whoosh…
Beep… Beep… Beep… Whoosh …
Beep… Beep… Beep… Whoosh
I lift my head, looking around my room, trying to understand why I hear these sounds again. Beeps and whooshes are increasing my anxious need to escape my room and find the source of these peculiar sounds. The urge to do just that is so strong that, as I rise to my feet, I fall down a few times, my muscles unable to take the strain I am putting on them today.
Slowly, I manage to stand up, and with a few stubborn attempts to stop them from tingling, I decided to leave. Weirdly, I notice the jacket Leif forgot, hanging on the hanger by the door. It’s a black leather one with writing on it that says, OLD LADY. I pick it up, and bring it to my face. The soft material reminds me of the shop with bikes and a man with a beard telling me about the significance of the biker weddings. “Why did he bring it here?”
Beep… Beep… Beep… Whoosh… Beep… Beep… Beep… Whoosh…
The repeating sounds seemed to penetrate the walls. Before I go, I realize that no one will allow me to leave looking like I do, so I rummage through a drawer, finding my family brought clothes for me. In the bathroom, I change careful
ly, trying to pay extra attention to the wounds. I slip into the jacket, then look down at my socks, realizing I shouldn’t draw anyone’s attention to my shoeless feet. After putting some makeup and lip gloss, I am ready as I’ll ever be.
I turn around and jolt, surprised. “Ahh! You scared me!”
Leif sneaked up on me and is standing in the doorway, hands crossed, face hard with livid determination. He grabs my arms, steadying me, as he gives me a probing, assessing once-over.
“I was in the mood for some jeans and lip gloss!” I chirp, totally busted. He grabs me by the hips, hauling me up onto the sink as he carefully strips off his jacket, throwing it to the ground with force.
“Leif…I…”
“Shut up!” he demands, as he traps me with his hands. He looks at me in disbelief, his nostrils flaring. O-M-G, he’s angry with me!
“Leif…”
He shakes his head and gathers me in his arms, placing me on the bed. He tears off my socks and then goes for my jeans. I hit his offending hands and kick him in the stomach.
“Who the hell do you think you are!” I shout as his hands still.
He pulls me into a sitting position, angrily whispering, “I am your brother, your friend, your family. Now, shut the fuck up and go to bed! You almost died, kitten! Patched up like a rag doll, barely able to walk, and she decides now that it’s time to go snooping.” His humorless laugh makes me shiver, but I am too stubborn to concede.
“I wouldn’t need to go investigate if you’d be honest with me and tell the truth! I am waiting patiently here, but I’m done listening to the bullshit you all feed me! If you can’t tell me, then I will find out on my own!”
