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He grabs his hair and pulls, as if he can’t handle my stupidity. What an ass! Then he turns around and gathers me into his bulky arms, distinguishing my anger and distress.
“What is wrong with you? You want to get Most Overbearing Ass award or something?” He chuckles as he keeps hold of me, smothering my angst with his teddy bear smooches. “I want to know everything.”
My muffled demand meets the silence as he stretches out on my bed, patting the barely left space to lie next to him.
“What I am supposed to do? I’m small, but not enough to fit in that gap, you know.”
Not waiting for me to make up my mind, he pulls me down and holds me, while watching the ceiling with his lost eyes.
I want to study him, but he refuses to let me move. “You know I am done playing cat-and-mouse, Leif. Either you man up and tell me, or I will find a way to get ahold of the shit you’re hiding from me.”
“No, you won’t,” he tells me calmly, making me burn with anger at his arrogance. But I know for sure that most clever people outlast and outplay the strongest ones with wit.
The dreams will come, and I will find my way to the truth, so I settle down, biding my time as he bends to whisper into my ear, “I won’t let you.”
A chill runs down my spine at his sharp whisper, full of conviction. I love him, even if he drives me mad enough to want to kick his ass and make him suffer for his nonsense. But the truth is, right now, he is a hassle I need to get rid of.
All of them are standing in my way, like guardians keeping me from the secrets. It is time to find the right keys. I close my eyes as dreams pull me to sleep, back into the winter wonderland, the peaceful music’s playing in the background.
Someone opening the door startles me. As I open my eyes, I find the nurse checking on me. She presses the finger to her lips and, eyeing Leif, she gives me a smirk before leaving. Her suggestive gaze somehow makes me uncomfortable, but at least she woke me up. This hulk next to me snores like a bear.
Sorry, buddy, but I need to know! Slipping away from him, careful not to disturb him, I put on my discarded socks and jacket. I would steal his shoes as well, but his feet are gigantic canoes.
Chapter 19
Cruel beautiful love
~Cassandra~
Let’s find the missing pieces of my soul. I have to know. No more waiting!
My heart squeezes in my chest, that familiar sense of foreboding causing my hair to stand on end. Since I woke up, I’ve had this yearning in my heart I can’t shake, no matter what. It calls me and urges to find its source. I have to find what she is longing for. With a sob trapped in my throat, I gather my bearings and force myself to leave before I wake up the sentinel sleeping in my bed.
Slowly, I open the door and look into the corridor. It’s empty. I quietly slip out of my hospital room and pad down the blue linoleum in my navy socks, wrapping myself tightly in the leather jacket. With every step, I feel my heart thump in my chest. I whimper and hot tears start to fall, but I don’t give up. I walk along the yellow lines drawn on the ground.
Beep…Beep… Beep… Whoosh… Beep… Beep… Beep… Whoosh…
I shake with a sensation I can’t name. My shaky legs lead me to the inevitable. Whimpers gather in my throat, placing pressure on my chest, and my breath becomes like a cold smoke. Every wall turns into ice and the linoleum, the frozen lake. I don’t stop, even while my teeth rattle. The heavy burden on my shoulders drags my feet forward and chills my blood with the dark premonition.
Beep… Beep… Beep… Whoosh… Beep… Beep… Beep… Whoosh…
Swirling air around my feet leads me towards my destiny. I count every step to something my heart already knows, but my mind fails to comprehend. Rattled with growing dread, I follow the sounds I’ve heard for so long. I slowly pursue the synchronizing rhythm getting clearer, and I know I’m close. My hands brush the walls, trailing the path.
Avoiding people, I walk to the door in the furthest corner. My fingers become like icicles and I begin to gasp for air. I clutch my mouth, stopping the wailing sounds from escaping my chest. Not yet!
This is harder than I thought it would be. My mind works in funny ways, as if it knows, but doesn’t translate to me what it is. Standing at the door, I know I’ve found it. I hesitate and stall, collecting the courage to go through the agonizing experience again.
“Finally, my love, you’re here.” The whispered words sound in my ear, as if he stands next to me. I gasp, shaking with both joy and pain.
“Logan!” His name comes to me, as if it has always been a part of my soul. In the doorway, I catch the sob in my palm, holding it back. Placing my forehead against the door, I take a few deep breaths and gather the strength to open it.
“Night, don’t!” Leif’s panicked voice startles me.
I turn to look at him, standing ten meters from me, and see his crushed and tormented expression. While he walks towards me, determined to stop me, I make a brave decision. Before he reaches me, I push the door open and walk into the room. I hear the sounds that have been following me for a very long time. Calling me back to him.
The life support system pumps my beloved man’s chest, and I can feel his heart suspended airborne. The broken man I love lies on the bed, an unresponsive doll, tangled in tubes and wires. The mangled mess of his face and limbs makes me whimper and I feel his soul, trapped in between two worlds, calling for me to save him from this prison.
Oh, my cruel, beautiful love, why didn’t you keep me with you forever?
