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My lips part as the whimper shakes me to my core, yearning for the man being kept imprisoned and tangled in the fatally-wounded frame. Aching, I approach him and, with trembling fingers, I gently brush his broken hands. The torment of loss comes back to me, flooding the unsealed channel. Screams gather in my throat and pain coils into a tight ball, like a ticking bomb waiting to explode.
There are no signs of the person I once knew. I stand next to him as tears of agony rip my chest wide open. The tornado breaks free with screams of horror for the man I’ve lost. The terror saturates the room, piercing my skin, and coils into a destructive force ready to unmake me again.
I lay my hands on his mangled body. “No. No, my love, please, no! Please, wake up for me!” The world turns into the searing agony, blinding me. Unraveling me. Shattering my
hopes.
Hopeless desolation spins my vision, grief wrenching my body to pieces. I grip the key I found in the jacket. In the slightly swollen hand, I see a wedding band. I don’t dare to ask why God has punished me again, why he destroyed the life capable of growing my soul into something worthy. Sorrow’s coming back and winding her hands around me. She’s choking me, slowly killing me, and ripping the abyss wide open, demanding to be filled with razor-sharp shards and the lifeblood seeps from my heart to feed the demons.
The wringing organ in my chest is dying, the threads wound in me unraveling, releasing rivers of never-ending pain. The healing wounds are opening, slicing the muscles with shards, tearing the ligaments into ribbons once again. I bleed my essence.
Beep… Beep… Beep… Whoosh… Beep… Beep… Beep… Whoosh…
“Cassandra, no.” Leif’s hands carefully wrap around me, holding me to him. The agonizing pain’s tearing him to pieces and he lets out a hoarse wail, which resonates through me. All this time, they were grieving, hurting, keeping this secret from me.
He strokes my back, squeezing my hand resting on my husband’s waist, as if he is trying to keep it together. Shaking, we both wail until the agony chokes us. Then cold seizes my veins and chills invade my cells, and I tremble.
Leif tries to pull me away from my dead husband. “Shh, you need…” I twist so fast he jerks back. My gaze shocks him into silence.
“Don’t you dare!” I scream hoarsely, gasping as my tears flow in hot rivers, feeding the never-ending void.
Once he nods, the sob catches in his throat, and I see through overgrown hair the same torment reflected in his dark gaze. Unable to let him hurt alone, I draw him to me. We both clutch onto each other and fall to the ground, unable to support the weight of sorrow.
“Why, Leif, why?!”
Logan is forced to exist in this prison, no longer breathing on his own.
Like two animals, we shriek, bawling next to his bed, but finding no answers to the tragedy in front of our eyes. No pain I feel is enough for me. The void is too deep and abyss to hollow ready to be filled with torment. My hands grasp Leif, while a coiling storm of emotions, like a tornado, rips and destroys my newfound balance.
“Why, my love, did you have to die?” I blubber, choking on the spasms shaking my insides. Pain takes hold, with punishing fingers digging into the flesh, claws clutching at my throat, the cold numbing my soul.
I don’t understand how all of this has happened to us.
In his hand, I find the ring cut apart, like in the dream. The words on the inside of the band say FOREVER WOVEN INTO YOU. I pull out the one nestled on my neck and read MY BEATING HEART IS YOURS. Sobs wrack me as the puzzle pieces begins to fit together. Memory of us getting married forms in my mind.
This memory of joy turns into painful sorrow aching in my chest and splitting my soul open.
I place my head on his chest and gasp in horror. My vision blurs as I unleash an ocean of tears onto his mangled body. Someone’s hands start to pull me up, and I turn, glaring at the intruder. Leif lifts his arms in a placating manner, his words wedged in his throat, and his dark eyes fill up again with undiluted sorrow.
“Let me help,” he rasps, touching my elbow, and I nod, needing to be closer to my husband.
Leif helps curl me into the curve of my husband’s lifeless arms. My fragile body continues to shake, and the pain stretches my chest wide. My throat is raw from the sobs pouring out, rupturing the silence.
How wrong the man I love feels.
Consumed by grief, I lay there, shaking, longing to feel the connection and revive his heart to beat for me. I close my eyes, exhausted, as the rhythm of the beeps and whooshing takes me under to the strange dreams. I grip my husband's waist, afraid to lose him again. The last chord in the symphony of our life breaks apart, and I close my eyes, savoring those last notes from our hopeful hearts. The final broken note reverberates in me, demolishing our love.
Rise and white petals fall from the sky, celebrating our oath and union bound in church. My heart soars with a euphoric feeling, making it want to fly with ecstatic joy that I am his chosen. We dance so much, barely eating, as our hearts are just too thirsty to be together.
After the reception, we leave for our honeymoon. In the expensive silver car, he steps on the gas, making the engine purr and rumble. I see excitement shining in his green eyes.
“Ready to have an adventure, my wife?”
I laugh at his roguish expression.
It is very early morning and, feeling a little bit sleepy, I nod off for one sweet second. But the sounds of screeching and cars braking jolt me awake. Our spinning vehicle disorientates me, and something hits us from the back side, making us whirl even more.
“Logan?”
