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Throughout the novel, Troy struggles with the fear that she’ll never experience the same kind of mystical or miraculous spiritual awakening (getting the Holy Ghost, speaking in tongues) as her peers at the church. As the First Lady, she believes she must encounter this kind of salvation in order to fully be welcomed into the church and heaven. Led by her nemesis, church members confirm this belief by constantly questioning her spiritual maturity and Kyle’s decision to marry her, citing that the pastor should’ve married a “saved” woman.
Questions
—Can Troy act as First Lady if she admits that she hasn’t experienced a “mystical or miraculous spiritual awakening”?
—Is it necessary to have a “mystical or miraculous spiritual awakening” to be saved?
—Is it right for the church members to question her spiritual path?
—Was Kyle wrong in selecting an unsaved woman as his wife? Can the marriage work?
Topic: Motherhood
In Take Her Man, Tasha was struggling with her failure to develop a relationship with her mother. While they reunite, in Playing Hard to Get, the relationship has gone sour again and the lack of communication now affects Tasha’s ability to bond with her own children—and their ability to trust her. Tasha constantly tries to outdo her abandoning mother by being present with the girls, yet she doesn’t understand how to really connect with them, as this was never done with her.
Questions
—While it’s clear that Tasha will always secretly long for a relationship with Porsche, would pursuing it any further cause her more problems?
—Can she be a good mother if she’s never experienced good mothering?
—Was she right in not accepting “extra” help?
—Do you believe the fact that Porsche had abandoned her so many times made it easier for Tasha to just up and leave her own children?
—How can Tasha’s desire to be a good parent and lack of understanding of good parenting relate to current issues new parents who were raised in a single-parent or parentless environment face? Moreover, is it harder for a man to be a father if he’s never had one?
—Is it harder for a woman to be a mother if she’s never had one?
—Does experiencing abandonment from either parent make it easier to abandon children?
Topic: Afrocentric Culture
When the worlds belonging to Tamia and Malik collide, there’s both confusion and dread. Both think nasty things of the other—Tamia thinks Malik is a brutish revolutionary and Malik thinks she’s a spoiled BAP. Over time, both seem to understand the other, yet the biggest level of compromise comes in Tamia’s surprising introduction to Afrocentric culture at the Freedom Project. Participating in the rites of passages journey changes Tamia’s outlook on community, culture, and career. By the close of the book, in fact, she isn’t sure she can ever look back at her old life.
Questions
—Was Malik behaving brutishly by treating Tamia the way he did after he realized she didn’t ascribe to the same kind of Afrocentricity as he did?
—Was he correct in saying that she wasn’t “really” black?
—Can there be more than one way to be black?
—Would you be willing to undergo the same kind of cultural change if you thought it might make you a better, happier person?
—Was Tasha correct in saying that Tamia had simply caught the “Afrodisiac” or was Tamia’s interest in the Freedom Project genuine?
—Do you support Malik’s decision to “clean up” to impress the judge at his hearing?
Topic: Maturity and Lifestyle Changes
Tasha is perhaps the one T of the three who has experienced the most changes in her life as she matured from being a young NYC It Girl to a grown, suburban housewife. In her story, Tasha, who now lives in a huge house in New Jersey and spends most of her time with her two children, communicates that she feels alienated from her old life. She makes many drastic and emotional decisions to try to salvage what was left, only to risk losing everything she now has.
Questions
—Should Tasha simply be happy with what she has?
—Did she deserve what happened to her—did she have it coming?
