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Kai smiled, and she felt the warmth in her stomach.
“It’s no problem. I think we were nearly done. I could imagine myself going right up to the beach.”
“You look calm.” And he did: no profuse sweating, no pounding pulse. Jun leaned over and touched her finger to the inside of his warm wrist. Instantly, her own pulse ticked up as she made skin contact with him, her body now so close to his that all she had to do was tilt her head up to kiss him. But she didn’t.
Snap out of it, Jun.
Yet she couldn’t concentrate enough to actually take his pulse. She withdrew her hand quickly. “Your pulse is normal,” she said, hoping it was true. Hers wasn’t. She felt certain Kai knew it, too, that he could see her pulse thudding in her neck. She took a shaky breath in.
“You’re ready to surf, I think.”
“I am?” Kai looked alarmed. Right at that moment, Po trotted through the open patio door.
“We’ve got to test this sometime,” Jun said.
“Test what?” Po asked as he picked up the Spider-Man figure he’d left on the patio. Aunt Kaimana came shuffling out after him.
“Po! Don’t bother your mama while she’s working.”
“It’s okay, Auntie,” Kai said. He looked at Po. “Your mom is trying to get me to go out there and surf.”
“Like this!” Po made a surfing stance again, the bright Hawaiian sunshine beating down on him as he bent his knees and stretched out his arms, his Spider-Man toy making a moving shadow against the patio.
“That’s right.”
“Why don’t you wanna go?”
“Po, that’s a personal question,” Jun warned, but Kai waved her off.
“I’m afraid of the water,” Kai said.
“You are?” Po’s eyes grew wide. “But you’re a surfer!”
“I know. I’m afraid of the water and of...my knee.” Jun couldn’t believe he’d admitted it, and to a little boy. She stood very still, listening. “Remember I hurt it last year?” Po nodded solemnly. “So, your mom is trying to help me with that. With getting better so I can surf again.”
Po seemed to think about this.
“Can I help?” he asked.
“No, Po. It’s...” Jun began. She didn’t want her son to be in the way. Not when Kai was working so hard.
“I think you can help,” Kai said, brightening. He glanced at Jun, but she couldn’t read his expression. He got up and dusted himself off. “Would you walk with me to the water’s edge? Just the edge. You don’t have to go in if you don’t want to, but maybe if we walked in a little together, then I wouldn’t be so scared?”
“Kai...” Jun’s voice held a warning. “You don’t have to do this, Po, if you don’t want to. Really. Kai is a grown-up and he’s getting grown-up help and he doesn’t—”
“Do I have to go in?” Po asked him.
Kai shook his head. “Only if you want to.”
Po nodded and then glanced at Jun. She wanted to scoop him up and stop whatever little experiment Kai had planned. Jun’s stomach pricked with nerves.
“Okay, I’ll do it.” Po grabbed Kai’s hand and together they marched down to the waves sliding in up the sandy beach. Kai stood there for a minute, with Jun hovering uneasily behind them. She wanted to stop them, but she also didn’t know if she should. She didn’t want Po to see her freaking out over his being close to water. She wasn’t a psychiatrist, but she knew that probably wasn’t the right path forward. She surveyed the beach. It was midafternoon and the tourists lay in thick patches across the sand, which was dotted with brightly colored beach umbrellas.
“It’s big and scary, isn’t it?” Kai asked Po.
Po tightened his grip on Kai’s hand and nodded vigorously.
“You scared?” Po asked Kai, craning his little neck to look up at Kai.
“Sure am,” Kai said, and Po looked astonished.
“How are you going to win a trophy if you’re scared?” the little boy asked him.
Kai shrugged and stared out over the water. “I don’t know,” Kai said. “I might not.”
