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Rather than break his silence to welcome her to his home, Luke abruptly shoved her against the door and kissed her with a near brutal passion. After her initial shock, her choice was made in an instant. She clung to him rather than struggle to tame his agony. She returned his fevered kisses and encouraged him to exhaust his heartache on her.
He drew back slightly to strip away her clothes, and to hasten their joining, she helped him with his. She braced herself against the door for support and hooked a leg around his hip to ease his way. Mindless of her brazen invitation, he thrust into her to begin a forceful coupling, fast, hard, and she fought to hold on and ride the force of his despair.
Ablaze with his own inner heat, he held her pinned in his arms, prey to his need, and poured his grief into her. He twisted and ground his hips against hers to pound her against the cool flatness of the door.
With her hands in his hair, she took each plunging thrust deep, then at last surrendered to a violent climax that caught and swept through him as well. Exhausted by his strength, she remained coiled around him even as she sagged back against the door and fought to catch her breath.
When he picked her up and carried her into his bed, she slid under the covers beside him and drew his head down upon her breast to sleep. He had not uttered a single sob, but she felt the unshed tears splash deep in his heart to mix with her own.
The evening’s tragedy invaded Catherine’s dreams, and she slept fitfully, but each time she awoke, she found Luke’s arms still wrapped tightly around her. When he left the bed at the first light of dawn, she sensed his absence almost immediately.
He had pulled on a pair of Levi’s before stepping out on the balcony, but even in profile, he looked haunted. Head bowed, he grasped the cement wall enclosing the balcony, and the muscles across his shoulders and back flexed in an uneasy rhythm. He might have been in bed several hours, but he didn’t appear to have slept any better than she had.
She grabbed an oxford cloth shirt from his closet and joined him on the balcony. She knew how rotten he felt, and rather than offer sympathy he’d surely refuse, she stood silent beside him and waited for him to speak. She rolled up her shirt sleeves, but the garment was still much too large. It was a comfort, however, just to wear his clothes.
He shuddered and closed his eyes as though the sight of her actually hurt. “I’m sorry about last night. It won’t happen again. I can’t take anymore, Catherine, I’m finished.”
She reached for his shoulder, but he pulled away. “Don’t touch me. I can’t bear it. I’ve known all along we’d end badly, and the fault is all mine, not yours. You’re a wonderful woman and deserve a man who can love you. That won’t ever be me.”
She’d always feared he would cut and run rather than share her dreams, but not like this when he was hurting so badly. “You’re not the only one who was devastated by Nick’s death. Let’s wait a few days before we make any decision about us.”
“It won’t help,” he swore, “and I won’t give you false hopes. Whatever there was between us, it’s over right here and now.”
She drew in a deep breath. She had the advantage of knowing they had a lasting link, but this was no time to reveal that precious tie. “All right. Now what about a memorial service for Nick? Even if it’s no more than having the kids share their thoughts and sing along with Eric Clapton’s ‘Tears in Heaven’, we ought to do something.”
“I’ve buried other kids,” Luke snapped. “I know what to do. I’ll wait a day so Max can attend, but I don’t want you there. I don’t want you to come back to Lost Angel ever again.”
She recoiled from him. “You’re not only shutting me out of your life, but Lost Angel as well?”
He shook his head. “You’re not usually so incredibly dense.”
“You think I’m dense?” Catherine peeled off his shirt and threw it at him. “I said I’d supervise the mural and I will. I’ll park by Toby’s rather than curse Lost Angel with my presence, but I won’t let some low-riding sleazebags chase me off. Nor will I allow you to scare me away.
“Now, unless you plan to give me cab fare to get home, you better get dressed and take me there yourself. One last piece of advice. The next time you break up with a woman, put on a shirt, because you look sexy as hell without one.”
He was used to her temper, but clad only in righteous indignation, her beautiful auburn hair tousled, her doe eyes flashing with fury, she was the most delicious distraction he’d ever seen. She made him ache for all he’d just thrown away, but when it was all he could do to hold himself together, he had nothing left to give for her.
“Wait,” he offered wearily, “I didn’t use a condom last night, and if I’ve gotten you pregnant—”
“Don’t worry,” she interrupted before he made an offer she refused to hear. “The timing wasn’t right.”
She left him on the balcony, gathered up her wrinkled clothes by the front door and went into the bathroom to shower. He had a handsome home decorated in shades of charcoal and rust, but she saw little through her tears. By the time she left the bathroom to him, however, she’d dried her eyes and was anxious to get home.
He said not a word to her on the painful trip to her house, but when they arrived and she opened her car door, she gave him one final warning. “I know what’s happened to you, because I’m fighting so hard not to slide down into the pit of grief I dug for myself after Sam died. Deal with whatever you must, then remember where to find me. I’ll never turn you away.” She took care to close his car door rather than slam it, but he sped away as though he were overjoyed to be rid of her, and that made her heart ache all the more.
She made her way up the walk and with every step became more convinced she would never spend a more remarkable night nor ever love a more challenging man. Worn out in both body and spirit, she apologized profusely to Smoky for not having fed him his dinner, then fell across her bed and slept until noon.
Positive no one would feel up to working on the mural that day, she stayed home, but she wandered aimlessly from room to room without hope she would find anything compelling to do.
Late that afternoon, Joyce came through the side gate and found Catherine seated at her patio table cuddling Smoky in her lap. One look at her dear friend’s downcast expression was enough to convince her that things had not gone well with Luke.
“It’s plain Luke didn’t take your news well, and I can’t believe any man you cared about would be that great a fool.”
Catherine waited until Joyce had slipped into the chair opposite hers before she recounted how the evening had gone so dreadfully awry. She said only that she’d spent the night with Luke, without revealing any of the lurid details.
“Nick was a popular kid, and his death hit Luke hard. My news will just have to wait until he’s pulled himself together.”
“You’re being awfully considerate of his feelings, but that’s got to be damn hard on yours,” Joyce exclaimed. “I thought being abandoned at a restaurant was bad, but this is so much worse. Couldn’t Luke have taken a moment to consider your feelings?”
