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“Actually, I think he did, but there’s no point in my brooding over it. In time, Luke will either choose love or he won’t, but with any luck, I’ll have a child to raise. I’ll always be grateful to him for that.”
“Grateful?” Joyce gasped. “How can you put such an optimistic spin on what was obviously a disastrous affair?”
“It’s easy. I know just how rotten it feels to lose someone you care about, so I don’t blame Luke for being overwhelmed with grief when he was already carrying too much.”
“You’ll still have to tell him about the baby one day, though.”
Catherine nodded thoughtfully. “Yes, but it doesn’t have to be any time soon.”
Joyce leaned across the table. “You want me to do it? I can look up Lost Angel’s address and pay Luke a real informative visit.”
“I imagine you would, but no, don’t you dare. I don’t want him hurt.”
“Well, it sure looks to me like you’re hurting, and you don’t deserve to be thrown away.”
Catherine glanced around her beautiful yard. “I’ve scarcely landed in a trash heap.”
“No, but even a palace could be as dismal as a prison when you’re all alone.”
Catherine didn’t argue, but
she didn’t really feel alone. She was sad, for Nick and for all the kids who’d loved him. Her sorrow for Luke ran deeper still, but she wasn’t ready to give up on him.
“Luke’s built his own prison,” she murmured, “but I trust him to break out before long.”
“If Shane were to give me that old, ‘it’s not you, it’s me, baby,’ good-bye speech, the only thing I’d trust him to do is get lost. Men,” she fumed. “I’ve a Wolfgang Puck pizza in my freezer that’s calling my name. You want to eat with me tonight?”
“Sure, that’s the best offer I’ve had all day.” Catherine set Smoky aside before leaving her chair, and determined to inspire Joyce to talk about Shane all evening, she walked home with her friend.
Catherine couldn’t bear to wear black to the memorial service and instead chose a lavender two-piece dress she usually saved for summer. When she arrived at Lost Angel, the sanctuary was nearly filled. Volunteers were seated in folding chairs toward the back of the room, while the kids were seated cross-legged on the floor at the front.
She’d bought flowers and carried the basket of white chrysanthemums, iris and daisies to the front and placed it at the foot of the podium. Polly, who was weeping softly into Tina’s shoulder, moved over to make room for her in the front row. She was about to sit down, when Dave brought her a chair. She thanked him and placed it at the end of Polly’s row so she wouldn’t block anyone’s view.
Max then moved into a chair behind her. He was wearing baggy shorts, and his right leg was heavily bandaged. When he dropped his crutches, the thud echoed throughout the room. Catherine turned to smile at him, but he managed only a nod in return. He’d carried bookshelves for her, but she didn’t know him well.
Catherine caught only snatches of the whispered conversations of those seated near her, but she overheard enough to learn many thought the mural would remain unfinished. She hoped Luke hadn’t stopped the mural project simply to be rid of her, but it wouldn’t have surprised her if he had.
When he entered with Pam, she was saddened to see he looked no better than when they’d parted. His posture was still proud, but he moved slowly, as though he’d been unable to sleep and were desperately tired. She expected him to begin with a Bible verse or perhaps poetry, but instead, he spoke from his heart.
“This is the most difficult part of my job, and I’m going to need your help to carry it off well. We all loved Nick. He always had a joke or something amusing to say regardless of the situation, and it’s his laughter I’ll miss the most. Despite having been shuffled through a succession of foster homes, he was outgoing and curious. He was an intelligent young man and had he been given a chance, I know he would have been a great success in life. Pam has a song she’d like to sing for him, and then I’ll invite anyone who’d care to, to share their memories of Nick.”
Tears were now rolling down Catherine’s cheeks as fast as she could wipe them away. She hadn’t expected Pam to sing so beautifully, but the secretary had a lovely voice which made the wistful hymn she’d chosen even more poignant. It was a song to celebrate life rather than a sorrowful lament, but still, most of those listening were in tears.
So many of the kids wished to relate an incident they’d shared with Nick that the service lasted more than an hour. At the close, they all joined Pam in singing “Amazing Grace”, but then no one seemed anxious to leave.
“We’re scattering Nick’s ashes at sea,” Luke announced. “There’s a bus to take anyone who’d like to go, and volunteers are most welcome to drive their own cars to the harbor.”
Polly pressed close to Catherine. “Are you coming with us?” she asked. “I went once last year when another kid died. It’s a nice boat, and everyone had a good time.”
That Polly would describe scattering ashes at sea as though it were merely a nice outing was too much for Catherine, but fortunately, she had a handkerchief in her hand to cover her dismay. “No, I’d rather just say a prayer for Nick here, but thank you for wanting to include me.”
“I’m staying here too,” Tina said. “Charlie doesn’t care much for sea cruises. Maybe we could work on the mural.”
Luke hadn’t looked her way once, and Catherine supposed he would ride the bus with the kids. That meant she wouldn’t have to worry about running into him that afternoon.
“I have extra clothes in my car,” she replied. “Give me a minute to change into them, and I’d like to do whatever we can.”
Tina beamed. “Thanks, Mrs. Brooks, you’re the best.”
