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“Yeah, thanks. Julie and I have a very strong connection. But I’m not sure how to move forward. I know I’m supposed to be moving on and I’m trying my best, but there are parts of me that just don’t know if it’s a good idea. Maybe it is the wrong time.”
“No,” she said. “There will never be a time that feels right. There isn’t going to be some magical time when you decided that everything is perfect and this is the time to do this, or change this, et cetera. That is wishful thinking and it never accomplishes anything. Do you understand me?”
I nodded. “I do indeed.”
She was right. I could wait around forever and find that I’d wasted my entire life doing nothing but wallowing in self-pity. This never accomplished anything positive and I was very tired of it. So, I made the promise right then to myself that I was going to do whatever it took to hold on to this thing with Julie that had developed. She made me so happy when I was with her and when I wasn’t with her I could do almost nothing else but think about her. I needed her in my life. And now that I had her, I wasn’t going to do something stupid and risk losing her.
That was a promise.
Zoe came bouncing down the stairs a few minutes later very happy to see me. “Daddy!” she cried as she ran into my arms.
I scooped her up and gave her a mighty hug.
“How’s my girl?” I asked.
“I’m good. I had a lot of fun with Aunt Katy. We made peanut butter fudge candy.”
I gasped. “Did you? Was it good?”
“It really was,” she said with a big smile.
“Did you save me any? That’s my favorite.”
“No.”
“What? Why not?”
Zoe just shrugged.
“That’s not nice,” I teased. “You should always save some for your dear old dad.”
“I will next time,” Zoe said.
“That’s my girl.”
We left Katy’s and drove home. As we drove I listened to Zoe rambling on about all of the fun games and cool toys they had at Katy’s while my thoughts kept returning to Julie. I was now feeling so much better about things. I really was turning over a new leaf and starting a sweet journey that I hoped would last a lifetime. I had a new woman in my life and I would always have my baby girl.
Maybe someone, somewhere decided this old road dog deserved another chance at happiness. Anything was possible.
Chapter Sixteen
Julie
“It’s adorable how Zoe fights bedtime,” I said as Ricky closed the door to her bedroom quietly. He smiled at me and followed me down the stairs. “Those tired little eyes aren’t fooling anybody.”
“Yeah, she kind of reversed back to that after Amanda passed. But she doesn’t put up nearly as much of a fight as she used to. I’m sure you have a little something to do with that.”
His words made me beam with a bit of pride. I loved Zoe. She was the sweetest little girl in the world. We’d bonded strongly and I could feel that bond getting stronger every single day. It also helped to solidify the bond that Ricky and I had, as if we were turning into a real family. That idea should have terrified me, I suppose, but it actually warmed my heart.
We made our way to the living room. “Why don’t you put on a movie? I’ll pour us some wine,” Ricky said heading into the kitchen.
I pulled up his streaming service and searched for something we could both enjoy. I didn’t want horror and of course he didn’t want anything too cheesy or romantic, I was sure. He handed me my glass of wine and I took a small sip of the merlot. It was following the pizza we had for dinner nicely. Ricky decided I should have the evening off from cooking, so delivery it was. He ordered from Spanoli’s, a place I’d never had before. And it was magnificent. The man knew his food. The portions were huge and we would have wonderful leftovers the next day.
We snuggled up on the couch as I found a good eighties action flick, Red Dawn, to watch.
“Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen, Lea Thompson---wow, that’s a great cast. How come I’ve never heard of this one?” Ricky asked.
“I don’t know,” I replied. “You just have to expand your mind a bit.”
