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“What now, Les?”
“You know we’ve lost some clients over the last year.”
“Some big ones too.” And they were going to lose some more if things worked out as Linda outlined, I thought, but again thought better of saying.
“So we’ve made retention a priority. The thinking is that the account manager would be in the best position to monitor the mood of the clients, and if he felt one was shaky, he could take steps to keep them happy, which makes that a kiss-ass position and makes Brent perfect for the job.”
“That’s a pretty picture you’re painting.” Now it was me displaying the smug
look. “But what does all that have to do with me?”
“Albert is going to ask you to continue to handle the administrative functions.”
“Do the job without the title and the money, that’s what you’re saying, ain’t it, Les?”
“That’s what I’m saying, Tavarus.”
“That sucks, Les. That’s bullshit and you know it.”
“I know it’s bullshit, Tavarus. But you do this for us and I give you my word, better things are in store for you here. You just have to be patient,” Lester said as he got up from my chair. “This conversation never happened, Tavarus,” he said as he left the room.
I sat numb, looking out the window. “What just happened?” I said out loud. I got up and walked over to the window. Trying to make sense of what I had just heard. “Now let me get this straight. I just interviewed for the job I’ve been doing for the last seven months. While the interviews are still going on, Les tells me that not only am I not going to get the job, I have to train the guy who got the job over me. But then I still get to do the paperwork. And to add insult to injury, I get no money.” I slumped down in my chair. “You just got fucked, kid. No foreplay, no Vaseline.”
I sat motionless for a moment. Playing the scene with Les over and over again in my mind. I thought I should have said something, made a stand. I should have told Lester to kiss my black ass and thrown him out of my chair. I should have quit right then and walked out. “But I didn’t. I sat there and took it like a good boy.” My mind drifted into nowhere, unable to focus on anything, but thinking about everything all at once. One fact circled around and around through my mind: Black man in America. The no win scenario.
I thought about being a baby, as Lester put it, and go crying to the EEOC. “For what?” On paper Brent would be the best choice for the position. He had twenty years of experience compared to my seven. UCLA graduate with a master’s in finance from Stanford. If I pushed the complaint I would lose, and then where would I be? “Broke, out of work, and black balled. I don’t think so.”
I felt disappointed in myself. As a child growing up in Detroit, my father always stressed the fact that a Black man in America has to live by a different set of rules then the rest of the country. He must be as good as his competitors to be considered, and twice as good to be selected. He taught me to stand up for myself and never accept anything from anybody. And most important, to accept discrimination with dignity and honor. However, it must be fought on all levels, wherever it is permitted to exist. My father told me that it is a life-long battle and the victories will be few and far between. “How do I fight this one, Pop?” I wondered.
I was so deep in the zone that I didn’t notice Peggy when she had walked into my office. She hit a runway turn to display her outfit. “Well, how do I look? Tavarus! How do I look?” she said with her power smile in full effect.
“Huh?”
“Earth to, Tavarus. Where are you? How do I look?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. You look outstanding as always, Peggy. I’m sure you’ll knock them dead.” Not that it will do any good. She could walk in there naked and it wouldn’t matter, I thought. It was a done deal. “Good luck to you.”
“What’s wrong with you, Tavarus?”
“Nothing. I just have a lot on my mind.”
“Did the interview not go well or what?” Peggy said as she sat down and crossed her legs. Giving me an eyeful of thigh.
“It went very well, as a matter of fact. I was a little apprehensive about an interview by committee, but it flowed. I got into a good rhythm. And the way they kept firing questions, you just start responding.”
“Now you got me scared.” Peggy stood up. “Well, I gotta go. They’re waiting for me.”
“They called you already?”
“About fifteen minutes ago. I’m just making them wait,” Peggy said as she left the office. I looked at my watch and did the math. They couldn’t have had too many questions for Brent. On the other hand, why should they? After all, it was a done deal.
About four that afternoon Albert James stopped by my office. “Are you busy, Tavarus?” he asked. Then continued before I could answer. “If not, stop by my office.”
“On my way,” I said as the door closed behind him. “Show time.”
I walked down the hall to Albert’s office wondering how I would respond. Knowing where this conversation was going, I wondered if Lester’s off-the-record visit was in an official or unofficial capacity. Would Albert simply want my answer to what Lester had said earlier? I hoped not. I wanted Albert to lay it all out for me. I wanted to look surprised and then offended, when Albert made his foul offer. I thought about my father’s words about dignity and honor. I took a deep breath and knocked on the half-opened door to Albert’s office. “Come in, Tavarus. Shut the door and have a seat.
After dispensing with the pleasantries, Albert laid out the proposal, which I reluctantly accepted after being told there would be no salary increase. Naturally, Albert was a little smoother than Lester, but the point was still the same. With one exception: Albert didn’t hint at better things in the future if I complied. His selling point was: “We need you to carry the ball. The team needs you, Tavarus. I’m sure you won’t let us down.” Albert said as he ushered me out of his office. The whole thing took less than ten minutes.
