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Tracy’s hand brushes against my cheek.
It’s then when I realize my cheeks are wet with tears. I look up at her, numbly.
Her eyes are shimmering with unshed tears. She murmurs, roughly, “You don’t have to go on, Duke. You don’t have to relive it.”
I part my lips which feel dry and cracked, and my voice is broken, “She was barely breathing when I reached home. They hadn’t even been merciful and given her a painless death. She held on until I got there and she died in my arms, telling me over and over again, that she loved me.” I feel myself shattering.
Tracy is lifting the go-between door and her arms are wrapping around my shoulders.
I breathe in her scent, trying to pull myself together. Her breath is warm on my hair as she holds me to her, my face in her shoulder, her soft breasts pressed against me. I soak in her comfort, and take a deep breath before pulling away slightly, so I can see her face. “The police said there was residue from two different guns but then the evidence started vanishing and I realized that they didn’t plan to cross the Red Snakes. I still waited though. I waited and I waited for justice to be served and then three months later, I saw Mara and that man, together. They stood outside my shop, watching me and smiling.” My fist clenches in Tracy’s uniform, bile rising up in my throat at the vivid memory. “I don’t know why they did this to me but they had no regret. My mother taught me never to raise my hand to a woman, so I decided to go after her boyfriend. The system failed me, so I bought a gun, tracked him down and I shot him. And then I went to prison.”
The ending is abrupt because I don’t think Tracy needs to know about the year I spent preparing for this. The way I tracked Wade down and how pale Mara’s face looked when she had seen me murder her lover. The jeering comments she had made just before I had taken out the gun and put a bullet in her boyfriend.
“What happened to Mara?” Tracy’s hands are in my hair and she’s watching me, her face tense.
“I heard she got involved with the wrong men a few years after I went to prison and she died.” My tone is flat. “It was Caleb who got me exonerated. He managed to dig up that my case had been mishandled and the FBI owed him a favor, so he called it in. His friend and lawyer, Lucas fought my case, and he got me out. He gave me a job and everything. Helped me settle back into society. I owe the man big time.”
Tracy sighs. “I’m sorry, Duke. I’m sorry you went through all that. And I don’t think any different of you, if you must know.”
“But I went to prison.” I look at her. “Isn’t that like a mark against me?”
Tracy raises her brow and then very sweetly presses her lips against my rough cheek. “This isn’t a job interview. You went through some shit and you were betrayed by the system. If anything, I would blame the corrupt police officers and that woman. Never you.”
My heart skips a beat at her words and I pull away to look at her. “But I killed a man.”
“He deserved it,” Tracy says, coldly. “I wish you had tortured him a bit first. They manipulated you; you had been so young. I hope that bitch suffered before she died.”
Her ruthless statement has me pausing and I stare at her.
She raises a brow at me. “What? Surprised? Did you think me so sweet and nice that I wouldn’t wish suffering on somebody? When I escaped the man who fathered Max, I left him a nice gash on his face as a parting gift and I threatened to chop his dick off.”
“Escaped?” I echo.
Tracy doesn’t look fazed. “Yes. He was my boyfriend at that time and I was young and I wanted out and then it was Kendall who saved me.” Tracy pauses and a heavy look enters her eyes. “She paid a heavy price for saving my life. Both me and Max owe her everything. She stuck by us through everything. She helped raise Max with me and she loves Max like he is her own. And now when she’s moving up in the world, she’s taking us with her. And look at me, I’m still stuck here, making minimum wage, practically useless to her.” Her voice sounds strange, almost self loathing.
I tighten my arms around her waist, telling her, “I haven’t known Kendall for that long but we’ve become good friends. And what I know is that she thinks the world of you. Don’t beat yourself up. Your time will come when you can repay some of what she’s done for you.”
Tracy cups my face, “You think so?”
“Yes.”
She stares down at me, then leans down and brushes her lips against mine. “You always know the right things to say, Duke. Plus, you’re cute.”
My heart is beating wildly at the press of her soft lips against mine, such a chaste kiss but I dare not ask for more. “I’m not cute. I’m manly.”
Tracy laughs. “Sure.”
“I am,” I protest, feeling insulted. “I work out seven days a week. Just look at my biceps!”
She escapes my hold. “And you’re a goofball.”
I watch her go back to her side of the counter and miss the feeling of her body pressed against mine. It’s a heady feeling.
She smiles at me, nudging my plate towards me. “Eat up. It will get cold.”
There’s a peace within me as I take a bite of the mouthwatering soft chicken. Tracy knows my past and she doesn’t think any less of me.
That’s important to me… for reasons I refuse to acknowledge.
