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“What about bikes?” Finn asked.
“He’s totaled six or seven. He’s being careless.”
Neil let his gaze drop to the blanket that laid over him. They wouldn’t let up. Not until he told them the truth. He might as well get it over with. “I was racing.”
“Racing?” Cole’s face gave away his disgust. “As in street racing?”
Neil nodded.
“Christ Neil, you could have gotten yourself killed,” Jack said. “Do you know how—”
“I know.” He lifted his arm but quickly let it fall to the bed with a groan. It felt like a one hundred pound weight was attached to his wrist. “I know exactly how dan
gerous it is and that was the point.”
He needed the release. He needed to let go of all of the anger. The guilt and fear. Of not knowing what to do with himself now that Vivian was gone.
“She wasn’t supposed to die. Not so soon. Not like that.”
His brothers stood still, barely taking a breath for fear of startling him. They knew it wouldn’t take much for him to shut down, let the guard fall back in place. But not this time.
This time he needed to man up and be honest, even if they couldn’t fully understand anything he was feeling.
“I don’t know what to do. I…I have all this anger. All this sadness. I didn’t know what to do with it and one night I went for a drive. I was stopped at a light and a guy came up with a bike and I knew what he wanted.”
He wasn’t completely crazy that night. He had at least second-guessed the decision to race.
“Afterward, he asked if I was interested in something a little more dangerous.” And that was the beginning. He eventually found Hector Diaz and the rest was history.
“Why wouldn’t you say something? Why didn’t you come to us?” Finn leaned in, slowly, cautiously. As if he was some skittish deer on the side of the road. But he understood. He wasn’t the most approachable.
“We’re all hurting.” Cole got up from his seat and stood beside Finn.
Jack kept his distance. His face a mix of fury and sadness.
“No more racing,” Finn said. “If you need to blow off steam we’ll go to the gym or—”
Neil scoffed. “You want calls at three in the morning?”
“Whatever it takes,” Cole said.
It had taken a long time for Neil to truly trust the three men standing around him. He knew they had his back. But this was beyond anything he ever expected.
“I hate you right now,” Jack spat.
“Jack?” Finn punched him in the arm.
“No.” Neil held up a finger because he couldn’t lift his arm. “Let him finish.”
“You’re so quick to judge everyone else and the mistakes they make. Always so high and mighty, King is always right.” Jack gripped the bar at the end of the hospital bed. “Bullshit.”
He was right. He never let anyone ever question his decisions. Until he met Carson. She called him out on his shit from the very beginning.
“This racing is the worst decision any one of us has ever made. It’s dangerous and stupid and…” Jack shrugged. “You’re just not allowed to do it anymore.”
Neil smiled. His little brother taking a stand. It was good to see Jack taking the reins, coming into his own. It was a long time coming. Neil, on the other hand deserved, every insult hurled his way. He was a hypocrite.
“No more racing. I promise.”
