Page 44 of Midnight Sun (Twilight 1.5)

I smiled. How I loved my excuse to stay. "Of course, keeping you safe is beginning to feel like a full-time occupation that requires my constant presence."

She smiled, too. "No one has tried to do away with me today," she said lightly, and then her face turned speculative for half a second before her eyes went opaque again.

"Yet," I added dryly.

"Yet," she agreed to my surprise. I'd expected her to deny any need for protection.

How could he? That selfish jackass! How could he do this to us? Rosalie's piercing mental shriek broke through my concentration.

Bella flinched as she read this... at the hostility in Rosalie's thoughts.

"Shut up, Blondie," Jacob hissed.

"Easy, Rose," I heard Emmett whisper from across the cafeteria. His arm was around her shoulders, holding her tight into his side??restraining her.

Sorry, Edward, Alice thought guiltily. She could tell Bella knew too much from your conversation??and, well, it would have been worse if I hadn't told her the truth right away. Trust me on that.

I winced at the mental picture that followed, at what would have happened if I'd told Rosalie that Bella knew I was a vampire at home, where Rosalie didn't have a fa?ade to keep up. I'd have to hide my Aston Martin somewhere out of state if she didn't calm down by the time school was over. The sight of my favorite car, mangled and burning, was upsetting??though I knew I'd earned the retribution.

"Still... you don't have to take it out on the car," Jacob said horrified, and there was a longing look in his head that stated clearly that he wanted to see said car.

Jasper was not much happier.

Bella flinched again.

I'd deal with the others later. I only had so much time allotted to be to be with Bella, and I wasn't going to waste it. And hearing Alice had reminded me that I had some business to attend to.

"I have another question for you," I said, tuning out Rosalie's mental hysterics.

"Shoot," Bella said, smiling.

"Do you really need to go to Seattle this Saturday, or was that just an excuse to get out of saying no to all your admirers?"

She grimaced at me. "You know, I haven't forgiven you for the Tyler thing yet. It's your fault that he's deluded himself into thinking I'm going to prom with him."

"Oh, he would have found a chance to ask you without me??I just really wanted to watch your face."

"Jerk," Bella muttered.

I laughed now, remembering her aghast expression. Nothing I'd ever told her about my own dark story had ever made her look so horrified. The truth didn't frighten her. She wanted to be with me. Mind-boggling.

"If I'd asked you, would you have turned me down?"

"Probably not," she said. "But I would have cancelled later??faked an illness or a sprained ankle."

How strange. "Why would you do that?"

Jacob chuckled and Bella rolled her eyes; the answer was so obvious.

"He calls you absurd for missing things but this guy is even worse," Jacob laughed.

She shook her head, as if she was disappointed that I did not understand at once.

"You've never seen me in gym, I guess, but I would have thought that you would understand."

Ah. "Are you referring to the fact that you can't walk across a flat, stable surface without finding something to trip over?"

"Obviously."

"That wouldn't be a problem. It's all in the leading."

For a brief fraction of a second, I was overwhelmed by the idea of holding her in my arms at a dance??where she would surely wear something pretty and delicate rather than this hideous sweater.

Bella grimaced; she would have to get rid of that sweater.

With perfect clarity, I remembered how her body had felt under mine after I'd thrown her out of the way of the oncoming van. Stronger than the panic or the desperation or the chagrin, I could remember that sensation. She'd been so warm and so soft, fitting easily into my own stone shape??

I wrenched myself back from the memory.

"But you never told me??" I said quickly, preventing her from arguing with me about her clumsiness, as she clearly intended to do. "Are you resolved on going to Seattle, or do you mind if we do something different?"

"As long as it's with you, anything is fine," Bella smiled.

Devious??giving her a choice without giving her the option of getting away from me for the day. Hardly fair of me. But I had made her a promise last night??and I liked the idea of fulfilling it??almost as much as that idea terrified me.

The sun would be shining Saturday. I could show her the real me, if I was brave enough to endure her horror and disgust. I knew just the place to take such a risk??

Bella was really smiling now... she wanted to know more about what he looked like in the sun.

"I'm open to alternatives," Bella said. "But I do have a favor to ask."

A qualified yes. What would she want from me?

"What?"

"Can I drive?"

Was this her idea of humor?

"Nope," Jacob shook his head.

"Why?"

"Well, mostly because when I told Charlie I was going to Seattle, he specifically asked if I was going alone and, at the time, I was. If he asked again, I probably wouldn't lie, but I don't think he will ask again, and leaving my truck at home would just bring up the subject unnecessarily. And also, because your driving frightens me."

"I knew that last bit would come up," Jacob chuckled.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Of all the things about me that could frighten you, you worry about my driving." Truly, her brain worked backwards. I shook my head, disgusted.

Edward, Alice called urgently.

Suddenly I was staring into a bright circle of sunlight, caught up in one of Alice's visions.

It was a place I knew well, the place I'd just considered taking Bella??a little meadow where no one ever went beside myself. A quiet, pretty place where I could count on being alone??far enough from any trail or human habitation that even my mind could have peace and quiet.

Alice recognized it, too, because she had seen me there not so long ago in another vision??one of those flickering, indistinct visions that Alice had shown me the morning I'd saved Bella from the van.

"No!" Jacob said, knowing where this was going. "You can't go there."

"It's not going to happen, Jake," Bella said, she too, knew where this was going.

"Bella..." Jacob started to say.

"Let me just keep reading," Bella interrupted and stated reading again.

In that flickering vision, I hadn't been alone. And now it was clear??Bella was with me there. So I was brave enough. She stared at me, rainbows dancing across her face, her eyes fathomless.

It's the same place, Alice thought, her mind full of a horror that did not match the vision. Tension, perhaps, but horror? What did she mean, the same place?

Both Jacob and Bella shivered, knowing what place Alice had to mean.

And then I saw it.

Edward! Alice protested shrilly. I love her, Edward!

I shut her out viciously.

She didn't love Bella the way I did. Her vision was impossible. Wrong. She was blinded somehow, seeing impossibilities.

Not even a half a second had passed. Bella was looking curiously at my face, waiting for me to approve her request. Had she seen the flash of dread, or had it been too quick for her?

I focused on her, on our unfinished conversation, pushing Alice and her flawed, lying visions far from my thoughts. They didn't deserve my attention.

"If it's not a flawed vision..." Jacob started, gritting his teeth.

"It is," Bella said, her voice calm though she was a little afraid. "Edward won't let it be."

"Does he even have a choice?" Jacob hissed at her.

"He muddled up Alice's visions before," Bella said. "When he stopped talking to me... he'll do it again."

"Right," Jacob said, not believing it, but hoping it was true.

I wasn't able to keep up the playful tone of our banter, though.

"Won't you want to tell your father that you're spending the day with me?" I asked, darkness seeping into my voice.

I shoved at the visions again, trying to push them farther away, to keep them from flickering through my head.

"With Charlie, less is always more," Bella said, certain of this fact. "Where are we going, anyway?"

"You should tell him at least," Jacob said.

Alice was wrong. Dead wrong. There was no chance of that. And it was just an old vision, invalid now. Things had changed.

"Right," Jacob said again, in his non-believing hopeful tone, and then added stiffly, "but that doesn't mean you should take her to this meadow of yours."

"The weather will be nice," I told her slowly, fighting the panic and indecision.

Alice was wrong. I would continue as if I hadn't heard or seen anything. "So I'll be staying out of the public eye??and you can stay with me, if you'd like to."

Bella caught the significance at once; her eyes were bright and eager. "And you'll show me what you meant, about the sun?"

Maybe, like so many times before, her reaction would be the opposite of what I expected. I smiled at that possibility, struggling to return to the lighter moment. "Yes. But??" She hadn't said yes. "If you don't want to be??alone with me, I'd still rather you didn't go to Seattle by yourself. I shudder to think of the trouble you could find in a city that size."

Her lips pressed together; she was offended.

The Bella who was reading the book wasn't offended by this... she was too busy worrying about what was going to happen next to be offended.

"Phoenix is three times bigger than Seattle??just in population. In physical size??"

"But apparently your number wasn't up in Phoenix," I said, cutting off her justifications. "So I'd rather you stayed with me."

She could stay forever and it would not be long enough.

I shouldn't think that way. We didn't have forever. The passing seconds counted more than they ever had before; each second changed her while I remained untouched.

Bella grimaced... that sounded so sad, the way that he described her changing every second...

Jacob grimaced, it sounded liked Edward wanted her to be a vampire... or at least part of him wanted that so that she would always be by his side.

"As it happens, I don't mind being alone with you," she said.

No??because her instincts were backwards.

"I know." I sighed. "You should tell Charlie, though."

"Why in the world would I do that?" she asked, sounding horrified.

"Because it's the right thing to do," Jacob said.

"So you always tell Billy where you go?" Bella questioned.

"Um..." Jacob said.

"That's what I thought," Bella said.

"I don't..." Jacob started, but Bella had started reading again.

I glared at her, the visions I couldn't quite manage to repress swirling sickeningly through my head.

"To give me some small incentive to bring you back," I hissed. She should give me that much??one witness to compel me to be cautious.

Why had Alice forced this knowledge on me now?

"Oh," Bella said and then looked thoughtful. "Maybe she did it so that you would be on guard... that you wouldn't be careless there."

"You think?" Jacob asked.

"It's a possibility," Bella shrugged.

Bella swallowed loudly, and stared at me for a long moment. What did she see?

"I think I'll take my chances," she said.

Ugh! Did she get some thrill out of risking her life? Some shot of adrenaline she craved?

"I'm not some kind of adrenaline junky," Bella rolled her eyes.

I scowled at Alice, who met my glare with a warning glance. Beside her, Rosalie was glowering furiously, but I couldn't have cared less. Let her destroy the car. It was just a toy.

"Let's talk about something else," Bella suggested suddenly.

I looked back at her, wondering how she could be so oblivious to what really mattered. Why wouldn't she see me for the monster I was?

Because it's better to see you as the good man that you are, Bella thought to herself, not sure if Jacob would want to hear something like that, with the attitude he had right now.

"What do you want to talk about?"

Her eyes darted to the left and then the right, as if checking to make sure there were no eavesdroppers. She must be planning to introduce another myth-related topic.

Her eyes froze for a second and her body stiffened, and then she looked back to me.

"Why did you go to that Goat Rocks place last weekend??to hunt? Charlie said it wasn't a good place to hike, because of bears."

So oblivious. I stared at her, raising one eyebrow.

"How did you miss that one?" Jacob tried to chuckle.

"Because it's bears... how could something that looks so human hunt bears?" Bella said.

"Bears?" she gasped.

I smiled wryly, watching that sink in. Would this make her take me seriously?

Would anything?

She pulled her expression together. "You know, bears are not in season," she said severely, narrowing her eyes.

"If you read carefully, the laws only cover hunting with weapons."

She lost control over her face again for a moment. Her lips fell open.

"Bears?" she said again, a tentative question this time rather than a gasp of shock.

"Grizzly is Emmett's favorite."

I watched her eyes, seeing this settle in.

"Hmm," she murmured. She took a bite of the pizza, looking down. She chewed thoughtfully, and then took a drink.

"What are you thinking?" Jacob asked.

"Don't know," Bella said.

"So," she said, finally looking up. "What's your favorite?"

I supposed I should have expected something like that, but I hadn't. Bella was always interesting, at the very least.

"That was a great compliment," Jacob said and Bella rolled her eyes.

"Mountain lion," I answered brusquely.

"Really?" Bella said, the idea of hunting a mountain lion seemed scary too... but she remembered how Emmett had hunted the bear... they couldn't be hurt by animals.

"Ah," she said in a neutral tone. Her heartbeat continued steady and even, as if we were discussing a favorite restaurant.

Fine, then. If she wanted to act like this was nothing unusual??

"Of course, we have to be careful not to impact the environment with injudicious hunting," I told her, my voice detached and clinical. "We try to focus on areas with an overpopulation of predators??ranging as far away as we need. There's always plenty of deer and elk here, and they'll do, but where's the fun in that?"

She listened with a politely interested expression, as if I were a teacher giving a lecture. I had to smile.

"Where indeed," she murmured calmly, taking another bite of pizza.

"Early spring is Emmett's favorite bear season," I said, continuing with the lecture. "They're just coming out of hibernation, so they're more irritable."

Seventy years later, and he still hadn't gotten over losing that first match.

"Yeah well, he basically died, didn't he? I wouldn't have gotten over that quickly either," Jacob said.

"Nothing more fun than an irritated grizzly bear," Bella agreed, nodding solemnly.

Jacob snorted. "You are so weird."

I couldn't hold back a chuckle as I shook my head at her illogical calm. It had to be put on. "Tell me what you're really thinking, please."

"I'm trying to picture it??but I can't," she said, the crease appearing between her eyes. "How to you hunt a bear without weapons?"

"It's not difficult at all for them," Bella answered.

"Oh, we have weapons," I told her, and then flashed her a wide smile. I expected her to recoil, but she was very still, watching me. "Just not the kind they consider when writing hunting laws. If you've ever seen a bear attack on television, you should be able to visualize Emmett hunting."

She glanced toward the table where the others sat, and shuddered.

Finally. And then I laughed at myself, because I knew part of me was wishing she would stay oblivious.

Her dark eyes were wide and deep as she stared at me now. "Are you like a bear, too?" she asked in an almost-whisper.

"More like the lion, or so they tell me," I told her, striving to sound detached again. "Perhaps our preferences are indicative."

"That's an interesting theory," Bella said. "I wonder how the others hunt and what their preferences are."

Her lips pulled up a tiny bit at the corners. "Perhaps," she repeated. And then her head leaned to the side, and curiosity was suddenly clear in her eyes. "Is that something I might get to see?"

"NO!" Jacob said.

"Why... it's not that bad?" Bella said.

"It would be very dangerous for you to be there," Jacob said. "I mean beyond dangerous... don't you get it, you're his prey."

"Jacob..." Bella started.

"I get that he doesn't want that to be the case, but that doesn't change the fact that you've got to be a hell of a lot more appealing than any of those animals he would be hunting," Jacob said.

"Right," Bella gulped, that did sound dangerous.

I didn't need pictures from Alice to illustrate this horror??my imagination was quite enough.

"Absolutely not," I snarled at her.

She jerked away from me, her eyes bewildered and frightened.

I leaned back, too, wanting to put space between us. She was never going to see, was she? She wouldn't do one thing to help me keep her alive.

Jacob grimaced at Bella as she rolled her eyes at Edward's comment.

"Too scary for me?" she asked, her voice even. Her heart, however, was still moving in double time.

"If that were it, I would take you out tonight," I retorted through my teeth. "You need a healthy dose of fear. Nothing could be more beneficial for you."

"Then why?" she demanded, undeterred.

I glared at her blackly, waiting for her to be afraid. I was afraid. I could imagine only too clearly having Bella near when I hunted??

Her eyes remained curious, impatient, nothing more. She waited for her answer, not giving in.

But our hour was up.

"Later," I snapped, and I rose to my feet. "We're going to be late."

She looked around herself, disoriented, like she'd forgotten we were at lunch.

Like she'd forgotten we were even at school??surprised that we were not alone in some private place. I understood that feeling exactly. It was hard to remember the rest of the world when I was with her.

She got up quickly, bobbling once, and threw her bag over her shoulder.

"Later, then," she said, and I could see the determination in the set of her mouth she would hold me to that.

"Which means she's going to bring this up later," Jacob said.

"That's the end of the chapter," Bella said.

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