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Oliver squealed before containing himself. He arched his well-plucked brow again. “Whoa. I mean, Jojo… are you pranking me? That’s so early-2000’s of you, and I don’t think that’s even very PC of you… you’re not pranking me, are you? Oh my freaking Celine Dion–worshipping gay ass, you’re not joking? You really are gay?”
I was smiling so hard my cheeks hurt. Maybe it was from the nerves, or the weird, bubbly kind of ecstasy that was starting to flood through me. I’d never said those words out loud, much less to anyone else before.
“It’s not exactly a choreographed dance with confetti cannons, but… yeah, Olly, I’m gay.”
He put his hands to his lips, a couple of his nails painted navy blue. “I can’t even, holy—what in the rainbow hell. I’m so happy for you! And don’t even stress about the cannons or choreo, I’m so extra. You coming out like this is perfect.” He wiped away a tear. I’d rarely seen my brother cry; even though he wore himself on his sleeve at all times, tears were just never a common thing with him.
It surprised me how quickly it spread to me. I wiped at my cheeks, still smiling, feeling so supported and relieved. I felt blessed. Not many people had such a supportive, open, loving figure to come out to. This was such a tender and vulnerable moment, it could have gone wrong in a million different ways.
But it didn’t. And I felt no regret, no sadness. It was all relief and happiness and a profound feeling of weightlessness.
My brother was smiling, but it was tilted toward mischievous now. His eyes were narrow slits, as if he were trying hard to read my thoughts.
“What?” I asked, suddenly feeling like I had something on my face.
“Is this guy, the one that ignited it all for you… is it Fox? The one from that FaceTime call?”
“What? No, no, not—” There was no use denying it. “How did you know?”
“I had a feeling. You’ve talked about him a lot. Plus, when he called me about the car, I could practically hear Cupid filing his arrows behind him. That guy’s smitten, sis.”
“You think?”
“Oh, I know.”
That bubbly feeling in my chest expanded, exploded. I felt like a high schooler getting solid confirmation from an insider source that their crush liked them back. “I don’t know, Olly. He’s really gotten under my skin. And you’re completely right. I’ve had feelings and attractions for men for a long time, I’ve just kept them quiet. But Fox changed all that for me. Not only was he there for me when my life was imploding, but he’s also been there for me ever since. We get along so freaking well, it’s crazy. I’m always smiling and laughing around him, and when I’m not around him, I want to be around him. It’s one of those kinds of relationships, and we haven’t even talked about any of this yet.”
“You two definitely need to talk, one. And two: wow, you’re glowing. You’ve been staying at his place, right?”
“Yeah, basically since the day we met…”
“Mhmm, no wonder you’re glowing.”
I laughed, feeling myself getting red in the cheeks. “No, I mean, well, yes. But no. We’ve done stuff, not the major stuff, though.” Okay, this was taking a turn. “It’s been a really fun time.”
“I’m sure it has.” Oliver took a comically loud and long sip of his margarita, keeping his eyes on me, smile still peeking past the big glass. “Is he out?”
I nodded. “Yeah, he’s out. He’s dated guys before, but no one’s stuck from what it seems.”
“Maybe you’re the one, then.”
At first I didn’t really know how to respond. And then it came to me: “Yeah… Maybe, I am.”
26 Gabriel “Fox” Morrison
“Find the one. Sign up today for a free trial. Look, I found my one. He loves walking on the beach just like me!”
The two actors on the television screen, who had clearly never met before they were cast for this online dating ad, looked at each other with longing eyes as they most likely envisioned a five-star lobster dinner or some other thing they wanted badly.
I sighed, changed the channel, and put my feet up on the table in front of me. The night had been pretty quiet. Jonah was gone for the evening, having dinner with his brother, leaving me to my own devices for the first time in a while. I hadn’t realized how lonely things could get when Jonah wasn’t sitting next to me, joking about this or that. It was crazy to me just how fast I had gotten accustomed to having him around. Even back in the military I hated sharing bunkers and was definitely never happy having to share the two bathrooms with eight other people. Some guys loved the atmosphere for some reason, but not me. I had enjoyed spending time on my own. By myself. I had been a kind of lone wolf like that for a while.
