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As Lucky told me all about how he’d taken care of Bear for me, I watched Bennett approach Aiden. The other man looked from Bennett to me. I saw him say something to Bennett, but Bennett just shook his head. I watched in disbelief as the man I loved more than anything else in this world sought comfort in another man’s arms.
This couldn’t be fucking happening. Not twice in one lifetime. It just couldn’t.
“He’s an awesome dog, Xander. I’m gonna miss him.”
I forced my attention to Lucky and said, “I appreciate you taking such good care of him for me, Lucky. I know he’s going to miss you too. I will too, for that matter.”
“This was the best trip ever,” Lucky said with a huge smile, and then he was wrapping his arms around me. I hugged him back as I fought the emotion that was threatening to close up my throat.
I watched Lucky head back to the lodge. Aiden put his arm around the boy’s thin shoulders as they disappeared through the front entrance. It took everything in me to stand there and face Bennett, because I knew what was coming.
He was going to tear my fucking heart out. I just knew it.
Just like when he’d pushed me to safety on that river crossing the day before, everything slowed down. Only this time, I knew the outcome wouldn’t be in my favor.
He finally turned to face me. He looked pale and sickly, and despite the agony that was threatening to send me to my knees, I was worried about him.
“Xander, I—”
“You should go inside, Bennett. You need to get warm and rest. If you can, try to go see a doctor before you head home.”
“Um, yeah,” he murmured. “I should do that… I just wanted to say—”
“You don’t have to say it,” I said. I’d thought I could do it— listen to him give me the brush-off— but I wasn’t strong enough. I was way too close to doing what I’d done that night so many years ago… something I’d done when my mother had walked out of my life for the last time.
Begging.
I might still be that unlovable kid, but I’d be damned if I was going to give him the satisfaction of ripping my heart to shreds again.
“A walk down memory lane and a few hot fucks was a good way to pass the time, but we both know it’s not something you can build a future on,” I said.
He looked stricken, but he nodded. “Yeah… yeah, you’re right.”
“Have a safe flight home, Bennett,” I managed to get out before I felt my throat completely close up.
I was dimly aware of him saying something equally polite to me, but I didn’t even wait for him to finish before I turned on my heel and began walking.
Because I’d be damned if I let Bennett be the one to turn his back on me first.
Not again.
Chapter 32
Bennett
“B, please, you need to eat.”
I shook my head. I knew if I ate a thing, it would just come back up. After all, that’s what had happened as soon as Xander had turned his back on me. I’d barely managed to wait until he was out of sight before I’d rushed around the side of the lodge and thrown up in some bushes. Aiden had been the one to find me on my knees, my arms wrapped around my waist as I’d sobbed so hard that I’d made myself sick again and I’d retched a second time, though there’d been nothing left in my stomach at that point to expel.
I heard Aiden sigh. I was dimly aware of him setting the tray of food on the small table in the room, but I didn’t bother telling him he should just take the damn thing away because the food would likely be spoiled by the time the pain in my belly eased enough to let me even try filling it with something.
He left me.
I still couldn’t believe it. I didn’t even know how it happened. One second I’d been prepared to throw myself to my knees to beg him to pick me over Jake, the next he’d been telling me fucking me had been a great distraction.
The mattress shifted as Aiden climbed into the bed with me and lay down so that he was facing me. His fingers came out to skim the wound on my head. He’d been oddly quiet himself after I’d told him about the cause of my injuries.
Quiet and almost clingy.
Normal Aiden would have been telling me that Xander could go fuck himself, but this Aiden hadn’t said much after I’d told him everything that had happened between me and Xander after we’d split off from the rest of the group.
I almost wanted asshole Aiden back.
“Something must have happened, B,” he said softly as he toyed with my hair. “From everything you told me after the river—”
