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The anguish in his voice was killing me. His finger gently brushed the side of my mouth and then he was pressing his forehead gently against mine. “Let me take care of you, Ash.”
His words felt like someone had dumped ice water over me and I promptly lost it. “Don’t you get it, Aiden? I don’t want your help! I don’t want it and I don’t need it!”
I lashed out at him because deep down, I knew he’d let me. I knew he’d let me say whatever I wanted and he wouldn’t punish me for it.
And that made me feel even shittier.
“It was a couple of dates! A couple of kisses! It didn’t mean anything!” I snapped. My body ached as I moved out of Aiden’s reach since I wasn’t sure I could stay strong if he touched me again. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and fear instantly snaked through my body.
God, what if it was Billy to say he was on his way back? Or downstairs already?
Desperation and pure panic had me throwing out everything I could think of to get rid of Aiden, and I didn’t even consider the words that spilled from my mouth. “Do you really think I didn’t have you figured out from the second you started hitting on me at the coffee shop? The flirting, using your friend’s kid to get me to go out with you… the damn charity! I went out with you because I was mad at Billy for messing around on me. I was never going to let you fuck me! Go find someone who’s pathetic enough to fall for that shit.”
Bile rose in my throat the second the last word left my mouth because not one word of it had been true. But even as I prepared myself to call the words back, I saw Aiden shutter himself and then he was turning away from me and striding toward the door.
I should have felt relieved, but all I wanted to do was call him back and tell him it was all one big fucking lie. That I’d loved every funny joke and sweet gesture. That I’d reveled in the sound of his voice as he’d plied me with praise or encouragement. That I’d been imagining what it would be like to feel his strong body moving over mine as he showed me every bit of the pleasure he’d promised me when he’d brushed his mouth over mine for the first time.
I bit into my pained lip to keep from saying his name as I watched him go. He paused at the doorway, his hand on the knob, but he didn’t look at me.
“No matter what, if you need me, Ash, just call. Doesn’t matter what time it is or where you are or what’s happened. I will come to you. I swear it.”
And with that he was gone.
I couldn’t stifle the violent sob that erupted from my throat. I could only clap my hands over my mouth to muffle the sound so Aiden wouldn’t hear me, and then I dropped to my knees and finally just let go.
Chapter 13
Aiden
Fuck.
That was the singular word that went through my head a split second after I snatched up my ringing phone to check the caller ID.
After a week of waiting and hoping that Ash’s name would pop up on the screen, I shouldn’t have been surprised, or incredibly hurt, when it wasn’t Ash’s name I saw, but Bennett’s. On the one hand, I was terrified what it could mean if Ash did call me, since it could very well be a situation where he was hurt and was reaching out for help. On the other hand, I wanted so badly to hear his voice again that it became like this sick internal game of will-he-or-won’t-he.
I shook my head and sent the call to voicemail.
“Well, that answers that.”
Bennett’s voice startled me from my thoughts, and I glanced over my shoulder to see him leaning against my office door.
“Sorry, was in the middle of something.”
“Lying now, too. That’s… unexpected,” Bennett murmured as he entered the room.
“No idea what you’re talking about,” I said as mildly as I could.
Bennett sighed as he dropped down into one of the chairs across from my desk.
“How did you get in here?” I asked as I began clicking around on my computer in the hopes that I could cover the slight tremor in my hands.
“I asked Chase for the code. And since you’ve apparently been a real douche here, too” — Bennett motioned to the office— “he gave it to me, no questions asked.”
“What do you want, Bennett?” I asked, not responding to his statement about Chase. I’d heard as much from my brother earlier in the day when he’d told me to go home and get some sleep. Apparently, my attitude in recent days had made enough of an impression that even the unflappable Tomás had taken to calling in sick just to escape my angry tirades.
