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Another rustle came, and I knew for sure it was Cal this time, pacing and running a hand through his hair like he did when he realized he was lacking control. Both my alpha males were lacking control, and I knew it was killing them. Jack would be standing still. Unimaginably still.
“I hate this feeling,” Cal said. “Fear was never my strong point.”
Jack scoffed in a way that held a hint of a smile in the note. “I’m aware. It’s not my strong point either.”
Cal chuckled, but there was nothing funny in his tone. “I thought you told me once that the great Jack Powell wasn’t scared of anything.”
“I was eleven,” he replied quickly. “And you shouldn’t talk, seeing as how you live for the rush of danger.”
“Not this kind of danger,” Cal muttered. “The only time I get worried is when you are.” They were brothers, right down to the way they spoke to each other. They depended on one another and looked for different kinds of guidance.
“I’m not worried,” Jack said. “I’m afraid.”
My brows shot up. I’d never heard the rawness that was tainting Jack’s words right then.
“I’m afraid because I know the truth,” he finished. “I need Lana…but she needs you.”
Jack’s admission cut through my ribs and pierced my lungs like a sniper shot. I squeezed my eyes shut and sank to my knees.
Gently shutting my door, I rested my head against the wall and two tears slid down my face. One for each of them. They were trying to give me space. Trying to support me and challenge me and love me in the way they knew how, while fighting each other and their own instinct to do it.
I had been crushed, hurting from the “arrangement” they’d made. But everything had shifted.
I was now the one hurting them.
And I couldn’t bear it.
The best thing I could do for them was to stay away. A tricky feat, since I had nowhere to go and no money to speak of. But I could try. Tomorrow, I’d figure something out. Right then, all I could do was wipe the tears away and do the best thing for all of us.
Stay away.
~
“Lana?” A smooth voice beckoned from beyond the brink of sleep. I opened my eyes, at least I tried to. Jack was calling me.
“Lana?” I frowned, hearing my name again. It was Cal this time.
Struggling past a swollen sting, I forced my eyes to creak open. Blur from last night’s tears hit me as Cal and Jack came into focus. They were standing over me, looking down.
Last night’s events hit me hard.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. It was the only thing that made sense. The sunlight was bleeding through the cracks in the window, showing that it was in fact a new day, bright with consequences and reality.
Jack frowned, Cal just shook his head.
“Nothing to be sorry for. I’m glad you slept in. You needed it.”
Jack nodded once in agreement and I wanted to tell them that that wasn’t what I was sorry for. I was sorry for what I’d heard—no—sorry for what I was putting them through.
“We need to talk,” I whispered as I sat up, hoping to shake the morning—afternoon now—grog off. I didn’t know how, but I needed to get away and leave them alone before I caused any more damage. Yes, what I had with each of them was in the past, but that was no reason to make the relationship between the two of them harder.
“I agree,” Jack said. Not to my thoughts, but to my previous statement. Yet he spoke so bluntly that it pricked my chest, thinking for a moment he’d read my mind and wanted me gone too.
“I want to check in with the insurance today on the house.” Harper and I had a renter’s insurance policy. I was waiting on that money so I could get another place to live and rebuild my life. They’d said “after the new year,” but staying on top of them would be a good thing. The sooner I got that money, the sooner I had options of supporting myself.
“We can do that, but first we need to talk to you.” Cal sat on the bed next to me, while Jack gripped the footboard, slightly bending over, staring my way. They both looked…concerned.
“What’s wrong?”
