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But it was useless.
Chapter 21
Opening my eyes had never hurt so badly. They were swollen from crying. My neck hurt like I’d been sleeping on a two by four. I tossed in the sheets and felt a warm hand smooth over my foot.
I shot up, thinking it was Jack or Cal.
“Good morning,” Harper said, sitting at the end of the couch. She propped my feet in her lap with one hand and held a cup of coffee in the other.
The events from last night settled in to my brain. I was at Harper’s house, well, Rhett’s.
“Thanks for coming to get me last night.” I glanced around. “Is Rhett back? I don’t want to take up your couch.” Also, I didn’t want to see him, or anyone from the fire department.
“No, he’s at the station until tomorrow.”
I nodded and sat up. Harper handed me the cup of coffee. Cradling it in both palms, I let the mug warm my hands and tried not to think of today. The first day of the new year and already it was disaster.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she nudged.
“Not much to really say…I lost them.” I took a quick sip of coffee before the tears started again.
“It was a hard decision…the place they put you in from the beginning.”
Yet, somehow, that didn’t make it better. Yes, everything that was happening started from their plan. But that plan had been the sole reason I was the person I was. Both of them helped me. Loved me. And I walked out.
“I can’t choose.”
Those three words were fast becoming my mantra, and one I’d live the rest of my life hating.
Harper shook her head. “That’s not true,” she whispered. “You made a choice. You chose neither of them.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “It feels like the wrong choice.”
Because my whole body hurt from needing them. The look in Jack’s eyes and the sadness on Cal’s face were all I could think about.
“In time, it will get easier.” Though Harper was trying to make me feel better, I didn’t think this would ever get easier. I loved them both with everything I was. And I walked. The question I’d been so mad about hit me hard.
How do you walk away from someone you love?
Jack had done it to me and I didn’t understand. Now, it made more sense. He did it because he couldn’t change the fact that the timing was off. He walked to give me space. To give himself space. To give Cal a chance. And, without Cal, I knew deep down a part of me would still be broken. It was the same logic that had made Cal keep the secret from me. The arrangement was a means to an end. An end I’d just enacted. And now, they weren’t there. Cal didn’t run after me, and Jack didn’t open his arms to let me hide in them.
They let me go.
“Maybe focusing on something else will be good,” she said. “You have the key, right? We still going to the bank tomorrow?”
I nodded and swiped a hand over my eyes. “Yes. First thing. I want to know what’s in there before the business meeting Anita has lined up tomorrow afternoon.”
Harper nodded. “Do you really think this will make everything go away?”
I scoffed. “I have no idea. I don’t know what my dad left. I don’t even know if selling the company will make the harassment stop. I hope so. It stands to reason it will.” Maybe I just needed something to believe in. An honest to God fresh start. But, no matter what happened, I also needed to stay away from the people I cared about until everything was solved.
“Thank you for taking me in last night, Harp. I’ll be out of here tomorrow.”
“You can stay as long as you need.”
“Thanks, but I’ll be fine. We get our insurance money tomorrow. I’ll stay in a hotel until I find a place.”
She went to argue, but I just smiled and stopped her. “I promise I can handle myself.” I also didn’t want to be too close to her. Yes, I knew Brock clearly hated me and had no problem hurting me. But, I had done all I could do. I just had to wait for my day in court.
