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“What do you mean?”
I tightened my grip on her hand. “What do you want to do when we get back from the Bahamas? About us.”
She looked down, and I could see how flustered she was. “I don’t… I don’t know what to say.”
“Do you want to keep seeing me?” I asked. My temples were pounding hard. Fuck. What if she said no? Why the fuck was I doing this to myself?
The thing was, women never said no to me. Never. As in not once. But that was for a different reason than the one I was looking for from Audrey.
“Of course I do,” she said, the words coming out of her all in a rush.
I felt relieved until she looked up at me, her eyes dark and sad. “I ju
st don’t know if we should.”
“Because of your mother?” I asked.
She nodded miserably. “Yours, too.”
“What did she say to you yesterday?”
“Honestly, you don’t want to know right now.”
Anger flashed through me. “I don’t even care anymore,” I said flatly. I could pay Audrey’s mother off, and I would shield Audrey from mine.
If that was what she even wanted.
“I’m tired of them both. We’re adults. We can handle them.”
The car pulled up at Trinity Church; it was unfortunately close to my apartment. Now that I’d finally started it, I wasn’t ready to let the conversation end. I wanted to know where I stood. But we had to go in. The ceremony was going to start soon, and I had to go out back with my brother.
“We’ll finish this later.” I watched her until she nodded her assent.
“Audrey.” She looked up at me, her face a mask. “Smile.”
* * *
I deposited her with Cole and Jenny, who were both looking very fancy and freshly fucked, in a pew toward the front of the church. I headed back toward the rectory, giving curt nods to my mother and father.
“There he is,” Todd said when I came around the corner. “I was hoping you weren’t going to jilt me.”
“Ha ha,” I said. I pushed all the bullshit in my head to the side and smiled at my brother. “This is your day. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Good,” he said. There were nine of us back here; Evie had wanted an insane number of bridesmaids so Todd had to ask as many cousins and friends as he could, just to match her.
“Are you ready?” I asked, slapping him on the back.
“I’m past ready,” he said. “I’ve been wanting to marry her since the day I met her. I just want her to be my wife, already. I can’t wait.”
“You get to be married forever,” I reminded him.
“I know. But when you finally figure out what you want, you’re pretty ready for forever. You know what I mean?”
* * *
The enormous church was packed with guests. “How many people are here?” I whispered to Todd. We were waiting in the front of the church for Evie and her bridesmaids to come out.
“I think Evie said it was close to five hundred.”
