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For a moment Koyal stared at him as if he’d said something she hadn’t thought about before. When she finally spoke, she spoke slowly.
‘For starters, I had seen first-hand how helpless being uneducated made me feel and I hated that. So when I got a second chance, I worked the hardest I could. I also realized that no one apart from me really knew how hard I was working. So I stopped seeking approval from the outside. I continued to work on projects, submissions, anything that had my name on it, till I was happy. And what satisfied me, typically satisfied the professors too.’ She smiled and then her face grew serious. ‘And then … I had promised Ma. I wasn’t going to break the last promise I ever made to her.’
Atharv nodded.
‘You know,’ said Koyal thoughtfully, ‘good times make for great memories. The bad times for greater life lessons.’
‘You are amazing,’ he said, staring at her.
‘No, I just worked hard.’ Koyal shrugged.
‘Look who’s talking,’ said Atharv teasingly.
They looked at each other, and then, for no apparent reason Atharv guffawed, and when he laughed – like he was a schoolboy, not a renowned pediatric neurosurgeon – Koyal had to to join in.
They laughed and then they laughed harder and then they laughed till their eyes watered. They collapsed on the sofa, holding their stomachs and trying to catch their breaths.
‘That wasn’t so funny,’ Koyal said in between giggles.
For a moment, Atharv looked her and then burst out laughing again. Before long Koyal had joined him, and like teenagers, they collapsed to the floor in giggles.
It was later, when they were both feeling a bit sane, that Atharv spoke to her about the reason that had got him to her apartment.
‘Why the nightmare?’ he asked, his voice gentle.
‘Amit,’ she said, looking at her hands.
‘Your ex-husband?’
She nodded. ‘He wants to meet me.’
Atharv looked away for a moment to calm himself, surprised at the instant peak in anger he had felt the moment he heard Amit’s name.
I will beat him to the ground if I ever set my eyes on him.
‘And?’ he asked, trying hard to keep his voice steady.
‘Him reaching out to me has brought back all the horrible memories I have spent the last few years burying.’
‘Horrible memories?’ Atharv repeated softly, and his eyes locked on to hers.
‘You know, Atharv, you know. Please don’t make me say it.’
To Koyal’s surprise – or maybe not, she thought later – Atharv did not say another word. Instead, he reached out and pulled her arm, gently turned it over and pointed to a white scar, almost invisble now, near her elbow. Koyal looked at it in surprise and it took her a few seconds to recall how she had got this one. When the memory hit her, she shuddered, amazed yet again at all she’d allowed that man to do to her. Amit had slapped her and she had fallen on the glass table, cutting her arm.
Atharv ran his finger across the scar, his eyes dark, his brow furrowed.
‘I have,’ he said, ‘seen two of these now…’
How many more are there? his eyes asked her.
‘The really bad ones no eyes can see,’ she replied quietly and then looked down, embarrassed.
‘No, no,’ said Atharv quickly, both angry and horrified. ‘Wipe that ashamed look off your face. He needs to be ashamed of what he did, not you,’ he said with intensity and authority in his voice.
‘But I allowed it to happen, Atharv,’ she replied.
‘Just as you are allowing yourself to be scared now,’ he replied after a bit.
