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I owed her more than I could say, for bringing me back to life, for reminding me what it was like to live again, to fall in love again.
“Shit.” I put one hand on Sarah’s headstone, a silent goodbye and walked away from my past.
And straight towards the future.
Towards Zola.
Zola
“You’re leaving.” Suzie appeared in the doorway of my bedroom in the guesthouse, her voice startled me as I packed my suitcase with one hand.
“Not yet. I’m going home to talk to my mentor and boss.” I needed to talk to Montclair in person, to plead my case and use every tool in my arsenal to get him to give my job back. I turned to face Suzie and sighed. “I can’t stay.”
“You can stay and you don’t have to go.” Arms folded and a determined look on her face, Suzie was ready to fight.
I knew the news of my leaving wouldn’t be met with cheers from Suzie or Granddaddy, but I hadn’t expected a fight. “I have to, Suzie. I have a job in Alabama and there I will be able to work even while I can’t operate.” I hoped that was true, anyway.
“I don’t like it, not one bit, just for the record.” Suzie smiled and stepped inside the room to wrap me in her arms. “I’m going to miss you.”
“I’ll be back in a week, Suzie.” Hopefully when the wheels touched down in Jackson’s Ridge again, I would have good news. A path forward.
She stepped back and put her hands up in a defensive gesture. “I believe you but Drew probably won’t.”
I shrugged off her warning. “That’s not my problem.” I hadn’t seen Drew since he stormed out of my hospital room. I might have felt some way about that for the first day or two, but by the time day three rolled around, I realized that sending him away was the right thing. If he was able to stay away so easily, his anger was all for show.
“It’s about to be,” she said, breaking through my thoughts. “He’s downstairs and he wants to talk.”
“I don’t have time.” With my arm in a cast, every task took more time, including getting dressed and packing a suitcase.
“Too bad,” he growled from the doorway. “Make time.”
I sighed and shook my head at his impatient words. “If you came for a fight you can save your breath. I’m not in the mood and there’s no reason to fight with you.”
“I don’t want to fight, I swear. I just want to talk.” He stood and stared at me expectantly, waiting for me to respond. “Zola.”
“Say what you have to say, Drew. I’m not going anywhere until this packing is complete.”
Suzie nodded, gave Drew a pat on the arm and left us alone. To talk.
Silence filled the space between us for several long minutes while I continued to clumsily pack my clothes. Eventually, Drew found his voice. “I’m sorry, Zola. I don’t know how to explain my behavior since you showed up, the only thing I can say is that you overwhelmed me, consumed me, and I didn’t handle it well.”
His words blew me away to the point I stopped packing and turned to face him, eyes wide with disbelief. “I know you think that sounds romantic and I’m supposed to swoon at your words, but all I hear is you blaming me for your reaction to me.” I shook my head. “Maybe when I was young and dumb, I would’ve have fallen for that line, or accepted it at face value, but I know better now.”
“I’m still getting this all wrong.” He said the words more to himself than to me. “I don’t know how to make you understand Zola.”
“You don’t have to Drew, I never asked for an explanation.” There were no words he could say to make me forget his behavior, his reaction to learning I was carrying his child. But I was done with this merry-go-round of emotions and attraction. “I’ll make it simple for you Drew. We shouldn’t have slept together again and we shouldn’t have spent so much time together. You aren’t ready for that.”
“I wasn’t, no.” His easy agreement surprised me. “But I am now.”
“Good.” I nodded and plastered a smile on my face at the idea of Drew moving on. “Good luck with that.”
“No, I mean I’m ready for that with you Zola.”
I shook my head, refusing to let myself believe that. “I don’t believe you, Drew. You don’t want me but you feel bad about wanting the baby and not the mother. If you want to be involved in this child’s life, I won’t stop you.”
“And how in the hell am I supposed to do that on opposite sides of the country?”
“I don’t know Drew, but I’m not putting my life on hold so you can have the life you would have had with your wife. It’s not fair to me, or to this baby.”
