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Forget it. Taking a deep breath, James pushed the rage down as deep as possible. He tucked it away along with the crazy dream he’d had of sharing the holidays with Noelle.
Turned out, he’d been right all along. Things like family and holiday cheer, hope, love—they were pipe dreams. Marketing concepts designed to manipulate emotions and sell products. They didn’t really exist. At least not for him.
Lesson learned.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
IF NOELLE HEARD the guy on the sound system sing about Santa coming to town one more time, she was going to scream. The song, part of a continual loop in the store, had been playing for the past three days. Usually, she embraced Christmas carols, but she hadn’t slept well since returning from New York, and the lack of sleep had left her with a throbbing knot at the back of her head. Like she’d been smacked in the head by a drone.
If only she could be so lucky. A smack to the head and temporary amnesia sounded pretty good about now. Anything would, if it meant whipping out Saturday’s memories. She had her own continual loop of sounds and images tormenting her. Every night when she tried to sleep, they repeated in her head. James smiling. James propped on his elbows above her. James raining kisses on her skin. Over and over, the memories repeated until she ended up clutching a pillow to her aching insides while she waited for the clock to signal morning.
Not that daytime was all that much better. If she drove past the Christmas market, she thought of James. If she visited Santa’s workshop, she thought of James. If she walked past her living room sofa...
For goodness’ sake, they’d known each other four days! Their relationship didn’t warrant this kind of obsession. Yet, here she was obsessing.
Her guilty conscience didn’t help. She should have gone back to the hotel and explained in person, but she’d been so freaked out by what she was feeling that she was halfway home before she’d thought things through. By then, embarrassment had kicked in, and the best she could do was a text reading I’m sorry. As far as regrets went, it was the stupidest, most immature thing she’d ever done.
Her gaze drifted to her telephone. It wasn’t too late. She could still call and explain. What would she say? Sorry I ran out on you, but I liked you so much I freaked? While true, she doubted it would make a difference. When push came to shove, it was still only one night—one fantastical, mind-blowing, life-altering night—but one night all the same. And there was still the chance she’d read the situation wrong. After all, she was assuming he felt the same way. For all she knew, the way she felt after they’d made love was commonplace for James and his talk of showing her Boston was nothing more than pillow-talk promises. It had only been a few days, but he might have already moved on, and calling would simply make her look foolish.
A knock sounded on her door. Looking up, she saw Todd standing in the doorway. His arms were folded, and he wore a frown. “You okay?” he asked.
“Fine,” she replied, pretending to shuffle some papers. “What can I do for you?”
“I was wondering if you’ve read the email from the Boston office yet.”
Boston office meaning James. Her stomach did a little bounce. “No. What did it say?”
“Hammond sent a list of recommendations for how we can streamline operations and improve traffic flow in the store. Looks like he took a lot of mental notes during his tour last week. Pretty impressive for a guy with stitches in his head.”
“Streamlining is his thing,” she replied. Along with renting out restaurants and nipping at shoulders, she thought, fighting a blush.
Either she succeeded or Todd was too polite to say anything. “Some of his changes we won’t be able to implement until after the holidays, but a few we can put in place now. Why don’t you read the list and then you and I can talk?”
“Sure thing.” Reaching for her mouse, she clicked on the email icon and brought up her inbox on the screen. “Has Belinda seen the list? What did she say?”
“Nothing. She officially stepped away from operations on Monday afternoon, remember?”
“Sorry. I forgot.” This time, Noelle did blush.
“Totally understand,” Todd replied. “It’s going to take some getting used to, not thinking of her as being in charge.”
Or being around, thought Noelle. The first thing her mother-in-law mentioned after Noelle’s return on Sunday was that she planned to leave for Florida right after Christmas and not return until mid-April. So in the end, Noelle didn’t have James or her family.
Todd cleared his throat. “You sure you’re okay? You seem a little spacey.”
