AllFreeNovel
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That’s a lot of time and my soul screams yes, charging to FC before I can stop it. But it’s taken time to get used to not having him around and if we spend a lot of time together, he’ll ruin the progress I’ve made, not that I’m sure I care. I still find myself saying, “We’re not even supposed to be communicating right now, according to what you want, FC.”
“I know, but we have free time to do whatever we want. Unless you have plans with Justin, then you’ll be alone and I don’t want to face the real world yet, so let’s spend the time together.”
Wait. “So after this, we’re going back to not talking to each other again?”
“Maybe,” he sighs with regret. “Everything’s up in the air right now and I don’t know what’s going to happen next.”
I fall back onto the bed. “FC,” I whisper, not liking the sound of this.
He reaches over to link his pinky with mine. That one little action has my heartbeat thundering. “Let’s spend New Year’s together and we’ll figure the rest out as we go.”
This is crazy. Everything within me screams that it is and that maybe we shouldn’t on the off chance that Justin wants to make up and get back together, but I already know my answer is yes. There’s no way I could ever turn down an opportunity like this.
“What would you like to do then?” I ask. “Anything in particular?”
My heart melts into one big puddle of goo at the smile FC gives me.
“Right now, all I want to do is lie here with you.”
My heart leaps out of my chest. Even though we’re lying here completely innocent, my heart is ready for more. It’s as if something is about to happen between us, though nothing will. Not that more can happen. He’s with Lila still.
FC links our fingers together and stares into my eyes. “I know I’ve been asking a lot of you, Idaline, and I’m grateful you’ve stuck with me through this.” He glances down at where our hands rest between us and then back at me. “You’ll always do that, won’t you? I’ll always be able to count on you to be there even if I’m going through some shit I don’t want to tell you about at the moment.”
I rest my other hand on top of his, my heart beating ever faster. “I’ll always be right here, FC. No matter what.” Honestly, I can’t think up a situation where I would walk away from him once and for all.
“Wiggle over here so I can hug you and kiss your cheek,” he tells me, and I do so without hesitation. He places one arm around me, but rests his lips on my forehead instead. “You have no idea how much it means to me to know I’ll never lose you.”
My eyes nearly roll into the back of my head as his lips brush against my forehead as he speaks. It’s bad enough that his body heat sends tingles through my body and that it’s clear he’s…excited right now. Being near him like this has my mouth moving before I can think about what I’m saying. “Justin broke up with me tonight.”
Silence.
His fingertips still move in circles on my back, but the only sound we hear is our breathing for the longest five seconds before he speaks.
“Lila and I broke up recently, too.”
Memories of that first and last kiss we had overtakes my mind just as much as it hits me that we’re both single right this very moment. Again, I react without thinking. I pull away enough to move my mouth to his. My soul sings praises to the heavens and my mind seems to relax as if it hasn’t in such a long time.
My fingers curl into his T-shirt when FC pulls away. No. He doesn’t need to do that. I want more. I need more. I’ve been waiting twelve years for this moment. My eyes squeeze closed as tight as they can. I don’t want to know what he’ll say or see the rejection.
“Idaline,” he whispers. “I don’t think we should do this.”
“I don’t care about shoulds or shouldn’ts, FC,” I tell him as I open my eyes, seeing the fire and desire in his. “I care about wants and needs. I want to do this and that’s all I care about.”
“You don’t understand.” It doesn’t sound like he understands. He gently brushes a stray strand of hair away from my face. “I can’t promise more right now. “
“FC, you’re not listening. I don’t want to talk about your secrets or whatever you’re going through, especially since you aren’t willing to do so anyway. I’m talking about right now, right this second. I don’t want to worry about tomorrow or next week or a year from now. All I’m asking for is tonight and then we’ll go back to normal if we have to.” He still seems so unsure, so I remind him of something important. “I already told you I wouldn’t go anywhere. That includes after this, if it happens.”
“Are you sure?”
I kiss him once again. Nothing in my life compares to the feeling I get when he rolls on top of me. To think that it will get better as we progress is mind blowing and has my body eager for more.
“We missed the countdown,” FC says as he tugs me closer to his naked body.
“Who cares,” I reply, causing him to laugh. I’d much rather have entered the new year making love with FC than counting down the seconds until we officially entered the new year.
“Tell me a secret,” he whispers in my ear and then kisses my jaw.
Feeling braver than ever, I tell him something I probably wouldn’t have ever said had we not crossed this line tonight. Faintly, barely loud enough that I can hear myself, I say, “I think you’re my soulmate.” He takes a deep breath and rests his forehead against my shoulder, kissing the bare skin there. “What’s yours?” I ask, deciding I don’t want him to respond or acknowledge my secret.
