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“What are you talking about?” I breathe just enough to ask those five words.
“You made your choice, Neil. Honestly, I think the only reason you're here is because of a guilty conscience. After a few weeks, you'll probably change your mind again, and I don't have the energy to deal with that. Being pregnant is enough without having to deal with you too.”
My mouth hangs open. “You can't be serious, Audra. I freaked out because you showed up at my house and lifted your shirt. That was all panic, and you are going to make me stick with my stupid choice?”
“Is everything okay?” The woman who I saw when I first walked in has come to our table, but her question is for Audra.
“Yes, Ma, we're fine.” Ma? The lady nods, sends me a glare, and then leaves. “Sorry, this is my parents' restaurant, and she's been watching us like a hawk ever since you sat down.” Audra takes a deep breath. “Why should I believe that you're sincere, Neil? You have until I finish this slice because I have to get to class.”
So while she eats, I make my case. I know I could say one thing to make her believe me, but I'm not going to do that. I don't know her that well yet. Besides, it might piss her off more than anything.
“For one, I think I deserve a chance because you're deciding this based on something I said while I was trying to fully understand what you told me. I've had to do some serious thinking and what happened that day wasn't the right thing. All I want is to be there for my daughter and you while you're carrying her. You shouldn't try to deny that to me anymore than you already have,” I finish in a low, well-controlled voice. I'm hoping that last sentence will be the push she needs. She waited all this time to come tell me. I've missed all these doctor's appointments so maybe that will get through to her.
Audra is quiet for a moment before she gasps softly, quickly looking down at her belly.
“What is it? Are you okay?” I rush with panic.
She nods, placing a hand on her lower right side. “Yeah, she kicked and caught me by surprise, that's all,” she murmurs.
“Can I feel?”
Audra's head snaps up at my question. She's looking at me like I grew two more heads, but she subtly nods. I scoot my chair closer to her and reach my hand out. Audra takes my hand and places it where hers was. At first, I don't feel anything. She moves my hand a little, my eyes trained on it as if I could feel on sight alone. It's barely there, but I finally feel the smallest of movements.
I look to Audra. “That was it, wasn't it?”
“Yeah, that was it,” she whispers. She seems as mesmerized as I am. For a moment, I don't ever want to move my hand because I want to feel it again and again, but I have to pull it away. “You're right, Neil, about what you said. I knew you were, but I was still pissed. I know that I'm capable of taking care of her, which is why I decided to keep her. Not to mention that if I didn't want to be faced with such a decision, then I should have been more careful.”
Air leaves my body in relief. I was worried that I had missed my chance. That partly surprises me.
“We have a lot of work ahead of us in the next few months, but today is not the day to start. I have to get to class before I'm late.” Audra manages to look even more serious as she adds, “Don't make me regret this, Neil.”
“I won't.”
FOR A FEW days, I managed to go without hearing, seeing, or running into Maddie. Dave never asked anything more than if his sister was bothering me. Of course, she wasn't. I wish she hadn't been at the party, though, because all it has done is bring back all of those memories. I successfully managed to put it all behind me and focus on this week's games.
Neil seems to be in a better mood, so everyt
hing is back to normal. Well, sort of. Turns out, he got a job, but works like six hours every night. I can't say that this fact doesn't have me a bit worried, because it does. The exhaustion is obvious with all the yawning he does. I don't even think he's fucked a girl this week. When would he have the time? He's either in class, doing homework, working, catching up on sleep, or playing hockey. I asked him why he got a job to start with, but he shrugged off answering me.
Practice just ended, so I'm walking out to the parking lot. Before I left, Vincent said something about going to see his girl who isn't his girl. I shake my head at the thought of those two. I don't get what their problem is with each other. Something keeps holding each of them back, but damn if I know what. Vincent doesn't share much about their relationship.
“Winston!”
Shit. I turn around to find Maddie jogging towards me. She's wearing a sports bra with tight capri exercise pants, and her hair is up in a ponytail. What the hell does this look like? A park with a jogging trail? And it's fifty degrees out here! My eyes are drawn to her bouncing breasts until she comes to a stop in front of me, and I force my eyes to hers. Maddie's hair is swishing back and forth as she alternates kicking her feet up to keep running in place. I didn't know she ran.
“What's up?” I ask.
She stops jogging, rests her hands on her hips, and takes a few deep breaths. “How have you been?”
“You stopped to ask how I've been?” Maddie nods. “I've been great. You? Has that guy bothered you since the party?”
“Not really. I've been good.”
When she doesn't add anything, I raise my eyebrow at her. “That all?”
Maddie's lips fall into a small frown. “Yeah, I guess so.” She shifts her weight to her left foot and decides that that isn't all. “Actually, there is something else. You can totally say no, and there won't be any hard feelings. I promise.”
“Spit it out already, Maddie,” I order gently. I don't like watching her squirm with her words. Whatever she wants to say, she should say it. It's only us here.
