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She was right. Some people have walked out. Mrs. Price is looking at us and for a moment, I feel terrible for being weak and needing Eva to hold me together so publicly. I take Eva's hand before walking over to them. Her father is a short, stout man and the frown he always seemed to wear when I was around is more prominent on his face.
He shakes my hand, nodding once as I give them my condolences again. Kelly's mom hugs me tightly. They acknowledge Eva before turning their attention on me.
“Are you going to the service as well?” she asks.
“Yes, ma'am.”
“Good. You're more than welcome to sit with us, Emerson. You were practically family anyway and I would like to have you there.”
Shit. I'm going to have to leave Eva's side to do that, but I can't tell her no. I nod in agreement.
“Thank you.” She squeezes my hand.
I nod again. “We'll see you there.” Quickly, I turn and walk away, hurrying outside and to my truck. Funerals are awkward to begin with. Everyone wants to tell you how sorry they are, bring food you'll never be able to eat all of, and then you have to be near this dead body, which isn't the person you're mourning. That person is gone the moment their heart stops beating. I don't want to say goodbye to a shell. I don't want to be around it either. And then, if you're on the other side of the fence, you never really know what to say other than sorry.
I lean against the driver's door of my truck, looking up at the sky as I tilt my head back. We have fifteen minutes before we'll need to start making our way to cemetery. I don't know if I can do this, being up there with her parents, up at the front and so close to her. How am I supposed to keep it together if I can't put some of my focus on Eva? What the hell was Kelly even thinking doing this to me?
Eva's hands rest on my chest and I glance down at her. “You need this, Emerson. You'll be fine,” she reassures me. When I nod, she puts some pressure on my chest with her hands. “Stop nodding. You have a mouth and a voice, use them. Last time all you did was nod, you blew up at Glen.”
“Sorry,” I offer.
I chuckle when she nods, my lips lifting in a smile when she laughs softly, realizing she did what she just ordered me to stop doing. I catch sight of my parents over her shoulder. “I'm sorry about my mom. I don't know what her problem is.”
Eva shrugs, dropping her hands. “It was probably inappropriate for me to do, but she didn't have to fuss at me over it.”
“No, she didn't,” I agree.
People are beginning to get into their vehicles, so we do the same. I lift Eva into the truck before climbing in after her. The memory of Eva calling me her day-saver surges in my mind. She's been my day-saver for four days now. In some weird way, I could thank Kelly for being part of the reason Eva's here with me. I would be worse off without her. I'm still pissed at her decisions, but part of me is thankful.
Time seems to fly once we arrive. I tug on my collar and Eva kisses my cheek.
“I'll come find you when it's over,” she tells me.
“Okay,” I answer to keep from nodding. I find Kelly's parents and sit next to her mother. The family has seats arranged in rows in front of the casket while everyone else is left standing. I glance back to spot Eva and I'm blown away by the amount of people here. Kelly was amazing, but I wonder if her keeping her illness a secret and her sudden death is part of the reason it seems like the entire town is here.
The service starts soon enough and I tune out the man talking about her life. Memories of nearly my entire life play like a story in my head. Kelly is in almost every single one of them. She was my first best friend, my first crush, my first love. I wouldn't trade that time with her. She helped morph me into who I am today. She was a part of my life and I'm so thankful to have known her, to have loved her. Eva begins filtering into my memories. I didn't think it was possible to love someone more than I loved Kelly, but I was wrong. Maybe Kelly realized it was possible for me.
I blink and realize it's over. Her parents are standing in front of the casket. I watch them pat it in goodbye before turning away. I stand, walking up to it. Throwing everything I was thinking earlier out the window, I rest a hand on the casket.
“I still don't agree with how you did it, Kelly,” I speak under my breath. One of the last things she wrote in her letter was asking for my forgiveness. “I forgive you.” A weight lifts from my shoulders with the words.
I'VE BEEN MINDING my own business as I wait for Emerson to finish saying his goodbye. His
mother officially pissed me off at the funeral home. Emerson needed comfort and all I could think about was how he held me after he found out, so I sat that way with him. She didn't agree with me; I don't care because I was obviously right in what I thought he needed.
“Eva.” I turn at the sound of Mrs. Montgomery's voice. Ugh. She's really pushing me today. I've been trying to focus on Emerson and not the situation, but without Emerson here, it's harder to do. She's watching me as if she's waiting for me to say something.
“Can I help you?” I mentally wince at my tone. There's more bite in it than I intended.
Her eyes narrow. “What happened at the funeral home,” she begins and I feel like I'm about to be lectured.
“Was me helping Emerson,” I interrupt. He was holding onto me before I moved to his lap, but I don't think she saw that.
She purses her lips. “It was inappropriate.” Is she seriously doing this? We're at a funeral and she wants to chastise me? “It was disrespectful as well. Kelly was his girlfriend and best friend. You shouldn't have done it.”
I lower my voice. “I know who Kelly was to Emerson. I wasn't doing anything Emerson didn't want me to do. He was hurting and I was comforting him. As his mother, you should want his pain to be lessened.” She opens her mouth to object, looking shocked as if I attacked her parenting skills or something. “Why do you have a problem with me now?”
Her gaze turns steely. “His life should have been spent with Kelly.”
